Right to die, obligation to live

Thanks Mongo, that was perfect.

 

LOL

I relate better to a dung beatle.

 

Here are a few more things I've thought about since my last post. I am writing this off-line before logging on, so I may come back in the wild to address the drivel that was written since yesterday.

I had a conversation with Mongo which made me realize many people here are probably using a stereotype that prevents them from believing that I can be serious about terminating myself and be cracking jokes at the same time. I think (with no statistical evidence) that people may have a tendency to associate a person's desire to end their life with dark moods, crying, depression and a total inability to make plans the for future. It doesn't work this way for me. And I suspect it doesn't work this way for many people, which is why we are so surprised when somebody with an electrifying smite like Scott Harter leaves us unexpectedly. As I explained to the big guy yesterday, I fully realize that I currently have absolutely no control over what is happening to me. So I have to keep living as if there will be a tomorrow, and a day after. I may be alive for a lot longer than I desire, so I can't shut myself down and pretend I am already gone. But as I told him, if the button appears on my computer that allows me to do it during our conversation, I will say goodbye and check out NOW. I also admitted that if I waited and took the time to think about it, I may not do it which is why I would not wait. Because I know that is in my best interest to end this farce. But when given the opportunity, thinking about the people I would hurt or the things I would really miss (my aunt, two or three I really close friends, Nicky Hayden's first GP win) could make me hesitate. Until the next time a mosquito tries to bite my face or I need someone to empty my bladder. If at that time the opportunity is gone, I would be seriously mad at myself.

About Thuxley and USRacerX: I probably agree with 99% of what Thuxley argues (well, when I do more than just skimming it) but I have to question his motivation for posting here as well. Don't get me wrong, I strongly believe he has as much of a right to post here as anybody else. It's the motivation I am wondering about. If what Jay says is true, and he only posts on religious topics, why not hang out on a board that covers religion? After my accident, I was away from the BBS for months partly because of what I told Mongo (I had no interest), but mostly because of what I told one of my best friends Bobby. I felt that being away from motorcycles, my knowledge of the topic would rapidly become obsolete and that I did not want to become what so many people are on the BBS. People who talk about things they know absolutely nothing about (like criticizing other countries). Bobby (and Mongo) felt that getting back on the computer and hanging out here (which Bobby does not do) and on our track day club's board with a good way to combat the isolation that was probably contributing to the depression I was going through at the time. It did take a lot of arguing on his part, as well as the contribution of BBS members (predominantly Sam Flemming and Brad Wilson, but there were many more) who decided to buy me a new computer against my will to get me back on the Internet. The final step was essentially me convincing myself that I am still a racer, just an injured racer. I know it's a long boring story, but I am trying to drive the point that most people here have an interest in racing and are involved at some level. So I am also curious to know why someone would choose this as their forum to discuss a single topic which has nothing to do with racing. Again, I have absolutely nothing against the guy and I do agree with a lot of what he says. It's just surprising he chooses to express it here and never seems to have an interest in discussing racing. To give you another example that may make a little more sense, the day I sold my RC51, I posted on their board that I was leaving and I never returned. The truth is that the decision was mostly based on the fact that I was dealing with 95% of morons, but still I felt I did not really belong there anymore.

OK, now I am going to log on, reading the new stuff, and probably a write another chapter for my book.

 

Damn, I hope I was in the 5% of the realistic RC owners that just enjoys riding the cheaper of the big twins.

or else you might not need a button on the computer cuz I might just have to choke you.

 

Can't...resist...can't....

This is absolutely not fair. I have abstained from commenting on faith and logic (my faith is very logical, BTW), Tex's "what have I lost" discussion (first put forward by Blaise Pascal BTW, yes the massively famous mathemetician who didn't see any problem with his faith and science), carbon dating, and other things I can barely remember now, all because I didn't want to add to the fact that we
JACKED
Papa's thread. But I can't resist any longer!!

Not a bit ironic. Just as I do, he (Mendel) saw no contradiction with discovering how nature functions and his belief in God. Why would discovering how God put things together make you believe less in him? Oh sure, people that didn't know any better said things like that the Earth was at the center of the universe (Catholic doctrine based on Aristotle), but just because that was wrong doesn't mean that God wasn't involved.

Sam, I kow what you meant, but saying that it was "observed" is just plain wrong. What we have, paleontolgically speaking, is simply a series of snapshots, and the order in which they were taken isn't completely (partially or mostly, yes) known.
The best racing analogy I can give is if I took a series of snapshots of you going around Summit and then scrambled them. There is no way I could learn what the layout was like if we didn't have the exact order. And even if we did (this is turn 1, 2, 3) I still couldn't possibly learn details, like your technique, and how you got from one corner to the other, from merely snapshots. I would need video to learn that. I could guess, but I'd never get good from one guess, only from experimentation and watching others.
Neither we can do on creatures from the past.

I have a real world example too, from my own research, but I'll save it for if (when) this example gets shot at...
Oh, and yes, I'm a cell biologist.

 

Well, since there is only 20 of you, and Papa represents the 5% that isn't a moron...

 

This is greatest form of irony I have ever seen.

In racing, as in life, if you hesitate, you die.

In Papa's case, if he hesitates, he lives.


From the Wall of the Daytona Motorsports Museum...

"On the sands of time bleach the bones on countless millions, who at the dawn of victory, sat down to wait. And while waiting, died."

(Favorite quote of Bill France...)

 

I was finally going to get around to answering this, and then Papa went and posted this:

Aha! That's just it! Suicide is such a irrevocable decision, about something so very precious, that I believe in 99.99% of cases* it would be immoral to assist in suicide. Keeping somebody from seeing Nickey get his first GP win couldn't be a kindness to anyone! I'm not saying I would lump it together with murder either, just that I believe it would be immoral.
Honestly, I'm not into helping anyone do anything that "if they thought about it" they would change their minds. I mean if what you are hesitating about (tatoos, piercings, running naked around your local racetrack) could cause your mother to scream "why did you help him do that!?!?" I don't want to be the focus of her wrath!

*Notice I left an out up there huh? My mind wandered to odd, movie style situations. So I guess if someone had an alien clawing it's way out of their body (after bing laid inside them) I could probably shoot them with my laser, but they were about to be eaten alive by a bug anyway. Sorry.

 

Alright Papa, it sounds like your mind is made up. So I'll give you a hand...

Here's a few ways to kill yourself.

1. Bite on the cord of your breath control center until you get through it and then fry yourself to nevermore.

2. Go for a ride on the beach, and get your chair as far as possible out onto the beach, at low tide. From having been there, you can get WAY out to sea on the beach there, as it is very flat and the tide comes in quickly as a result. Just sit, watch the sunset and swim to freedom.

3. Roll the chair onto the elevator, ride to the top of the building, put the chair into the designated "HIGH" gear range, pin the throttle and head for the edge of the building. When you hit the edge it will launch you out of your seat and over the ledge to your death.

4. Or, an alternative scenario to the above method, would be to roll your 350 pound wheel chair down a stairwell at the hospital and smash and crush yourself to death.

5. Find a pointed object, spearlike. Put the chair into low gear and drive it and you into the spike, impaling yourself to death.

The above methods don't require that you affect anyone else to help you.

You could also:

6. Just pull the wheelchair out in front of a delivery truck going down the road.

7. Park the wheelchair behind a delivery truck that has to back up to get out.

8. Get whatever cash and credit cards you have together, and leave the hospital under the guise of going for a breath of fresh air. Drive the wheelchair to skid row, and offer your cash and credit card numbers to a bum or thief on the street to choke you to death.

Of course this requires you to be a dick and affect an innocent person's life in an extremely negative way.



My point here is, I have only actually thought seriously about this for about 3 minutes. You are as smart as I am. If you REALLY wanted to kill yourself, I think you would try a little bit harder than you do currently. You don't seem to put much actual effort into ending your life. You do talk about it a lot though.

I want to understand what you are feeling, but I guess I don't. I'm Sorry.

 

To put it another way, most people spend their entire lives trying to NOT get killed. It seems like it should be pretty easy to just let or make it happen.

 

This is a good post, Tom.

 

I always had a question...

If man evolved from APES why are there still APES?

 

On that note if an Ape is perfectly capable of living as an Ape why would it evolve into anything?

 

Seems that an Ape would be best qualified to answer that.... eh?



The whole guerrilla thing threw me Ape, how have you been?

 

Max, I am not as smart as you. I am much smarter. There are a few like you here in the hospital, who didn’t use their brains and got paralyzed trying to kill themselves. My objective is not to try, and end up on a respirator. None of what you suggest is remotely close to a sure thing. You have thought about it 3 minutes. I have you beat by a full year.

I do things like trying to convince my surgeon to operate on both hips on the same day to maximize the amount of blood lost. Got him to reduce the gap from 6 to 3 weeks and as I told you when were here, nearly hit the jackpot the night after the second surgery. You should have seen the faces of the nurses here in rehab when they heard how much blood I had to receive to stick around. I am ashamed to say I will be half Froggie until my blood supply renews itself.

Like I keep telling Guerilla, don’t make assumptions about me before asking. In case that wasn’t clear before, I hate being a quadriplegic. Especially since my favorite nurse took her vacation yesterday.

 

Papa,

I haven't chimed in just cause all this talk bothers me. But I do want you to know that we love you and that i'm sure if I were in your situation that I would feel the exact same way. Hang in there, Michael and I were talking about vacations last night and the French Riviera was on our list of trips. Don't know when it will happen but if we are able to go I will be coming to see you.

 

I thought about this again last night. When a fireplace talks to me and the WERA rule book appears carved in stone in the garden, I will see a miracle. If someone wins the 100-meter freestyle in Athens next year by running across the swimming pool, I will believe. But if I get punched in the nose and land on a $100 bill, like ANYBODY else could, I see a coincidence. So is this the longest P&R thread yet so I can claim bragging rights?

 

LOL!

 

One probably won't work because the electrical crap should have ground fault protection so he would likely just burn his tongue.

Two won't work because you worked on the chair so it won't steer for shit.

Three won't work because you worked on the chair so he won't get enough traction and will just spin.

Just messin with ya Max.