Guys whose wives back them up.

There is some truth to that. This is the look my wife likes the most.


That's what gets her all hot and bothered. I still don't understand it.

 

I'll disagree that that the system is broken (in regards to single vs. married people). In the case of many people, there's no point to getting married anymore other than access to someone's healthcare and the ability to pull the plug on them. It's actually more of a hassle to get married and then get a divorce.

 

I do a bunch of that too, and very involved....almost too involved. There seems to be some negative blowback from men being involved in household stuff.

This is a good read

Why Great Husbands Are Being Abandoned

 

I totally get what you're saying. It's crazy how my wife acts when I do any home remodel job. The ultimate aphrodisiac

 

Jean shorts? Welcome to 1990. Just bustin' on ya Kenny.......

 

I have always found it a bit strange but whatever works for her works for me.

 

It's what I wear. It's what she buys. I wear whatever hits the closet. Haven't bought my own clothing since we got married.

 

Well I hope you're buying better blades these days.

 

When I was buying and relying on blades everyday to make money I did. When I buy one every 4 or 5 years not so much.

 

I'm going thru this chit right now. The wife and I had a lot in common, like mtbing, whitewater kayaking, backpacking. But, she hates motorcycles. After my last catastrophic crash..it was basically the bikes or her. I miss her (a little), but its much mo beta now, living alone. Shes wanted to get back together, but nope. Can't do it. I was single for 18yrs before her.. Raised my now 32yr son alone.. I'm good.

Always felt she didn't have my back. Also did most of the house work. Don't drink. Don't party. Never went out on her.

Love my 2 dogs. The end.

 

For sure, I know how the money was spent. The issue is when I say "can I buy XX part" or "I need XX part, when can I buy it" I wasn't aware that the money wasn't actually there and we were using credit. If I had if been warned where it was coming from and then had to make the decision to use it or make due/wait I would have preferred that.

I've got things sorted now and she can see where and how much money there is but now she can't touch it. There will be no CC advances or taking from the house LOC from now on unless it's an emergency.

I'll be working a ton of OT and sacrificing family time to make sure I can stay on track with my build and dig us out.

 

Hey look it's "Fix-it Felix"!

 

It seems that she did what she could have to support your love. The means to get there was probably ill advised and not fiscally responsible, but she did it for you and what you wanted. Don't lose sight of that. In this case, she seems to really have your back.

 

This, this and all mother-fucking this...and hell yeah, always keep doing man-shit.



to put it another way, I give my wife what she needs...not necessarily what she wants. The firmer I am with that, the happier is and more loving she becomes...I ignore things she says she wants almost every day. "Stop teasing me, you're mean!"..."Nope."...she puts on a pouty face for 5 seconds and then snuggles into my shoulder with a satisfied grin. it's my job to filter out the nonsense from the serious and that's where I think a lot of guys err...they take everything their woman asks for literally. You just can't do that and expect to have both of you end up happy. Sometimes she's being literal...absolutely...but there are many times she's not. Lots of men do a miserable job discerning the difference. I used to be one of them.

and just for the record, my wife isn't at all ignorant of my worldview...she shares it and it's why we're together. we've had many discussions about relationships from ours and our previous, to our friends and families. We're a Team, but there's only one Captain and that's the way we both want it.

 

I agree with the dude above.

Luckily my fiancée has a similar outlook on relationships as me. She believed that we are equal but not the same. I take care of manly things, she takes care of womanly things and we both see that as just. That doesn't mean I don't vacuum or do chores around the house.

The thing about saying no and filtering out stupid requests is spot on.

 

I owe you for the help as I fell off mine...I was still sliding down the tarmac when you fell off yours...wasn't any help in return

 

You guys are missing the point here. Yes, you should give your wives what they actually need- and a lot of the time, they don't know what they need. Yes, men and women play fundamentally different roles in the relationship. I tell my wife shit that she doesn't want to hear pretty much every single day, and I get blow-back from it, and then she comes back and tells me I was right (most of the time, though I'm wrong sometimes too). But back to this post- if your woman doesn't respect you or support you, then there's a good chance you haven't done anything to earn her respect. Earn your woman's respect by treating her right, being a man, and putting her [real, not perceived] needs above your own. Not by playing childish games with her and assigning conditions to your love (after all, I'd wager that it goes against your vows anyhow)

 

Putting her on a pedestal is the absolute wrong answer. You earn a woman's respect by being a man, your own man...not worshipping her as some special ethereal being who deserves everything you can do for her.

"Put yourself first, if you don't...she won't"-Dante