Guys whose wives back them up.

<cough> your ex scrubbed a toilet with her man's toothbrush <cough>

 

yep...in my house that's equivalent to kissing. ass-smacks are 2nd base, etc.

 

No, she "said" she did. She liked to say lots of things, only later to admit they she just made it up. She was crazy and I knew it, it was just fun for a while, until it really wasn't.

 

If I pull Sarah's hair, I'll be married to Sinead O'Connor

 

Being a total Noob (albiet longtime lurker), I wasn't going to weigh in on this, but this post is one of the few that has any truth in it. SO many people using absolutes about relationships, and there's no such thing, except what LD said. Too many people have self esteem issues, and it taints every relationship you might have, not just with your S.O. As for the notion that if you give someone respect, they'll learn to respect you, that's one of those absolutes that doesn't work. Some people are the type that give what they receive, while others view it as a weakness, and will take all you can give (with nothing in return). This whole thing is a bit of a sore subject, as I'm seeing some awfully familiar parallels. Seems every relationship, you have one person that is more 'all in' than the other. Over time, it will cause an imbalance, unless you respect yourself enough to call things out when the boundaries are crossed. The problem is, if you think just loving that person more is going to correct it, rather than having the hard conversation about feeling like a situation is unfair, then you've become the problem. Respecting yourself is key, but it won't guarantee they'll respect you. If they don't, man or woman, then you have to have the strength to pull the plug. Otherwise, quit your bitching about being in the situation, that you're choosing to stay in.

 

I'm only afraid when I wake up to go to the bathroom and she is standing on my side of the bed deep in thought with a knife in her hand.

 

that'll leave a mark...

 

Daaaaaaaamn.

 

Well he's not wrong. Life lessons man, we've all got them.

Welcome back btw.

 

I wasn't directing my remarks at anyone in particular - it's just what it looks like from a 10,000 foot view. I don't think like a guy, I am just not wired for it. I must miss something in it when you guys talk.

And Dern is just sour because the sprinkles melted off of his ice cream due to the needy infant in the house. Some day, a smack on the ass will illicit a better response than: "I am tired, the baby woke up 4 times last night."

 

As the Monger stated, women frequently communicate in the covert. What she wants (and I am as guilty as any), frequently goes zipping past the guys head. The learned man is able to determine what she is wanting and needs. As for your mention of the abusive past, I have no idea how that relates because that situation is completely foreign to me....never been exposed to that.

I think that you are right to believe in the competitiveness of men in general. I think that most men do not realize their own competitiveness because they have been doing it so long that it doesn't seem they are being competitive. My work is only with guys and we basically compete in everything that we do during the day. Don't get me wrong, there's no impromptu boxing matches, it is just that we take notice of how efficiently and how well the work is done and render judgement accordingly. Generally, men think competitively.

And this competition brings us to the why. Men must perform, particularly for women. Performance takes many forms (looks, charisma, status, earnings, wealth) and a man who does not perform in one way or another is worthless to both women and the world. A man who does perform is in demand and need not domineer any woman. The Most Interesting Man in the World always has two women because he performs, not because he as a groovy salt and pepper beard.

I believe that a wife will always "back up her man" if the man is performing and bringing the value. It is an unspoken trade.

 

I agree there are far too many absolutes being thrown around in this thread. Everyone, and every relationship, is diferent. When I was married, my wife got whatever she wanted. I resented a lot of it, and the relationship suffered for it. I also did a lot of it for the wrong reason, so then I could do whatever I wanted, and sometimes act like a first class dick because "I never tell you no!" There were of course many other issues that caused the end of that relationship, but that was certainly one of them.

Girlfriend and have been together for almost 2 years, and we live together. We've seriously had 1, maybe 2 fights. Both lasted less than an hour, and were about some really inconsequential dumb shit. She's 29 but not a spoiled millennial at all. I actually give her shit for picking up too many overtime shifts, she works her ass off. I still try to get her whatever she wants, but I'm not talking about material shit. I'm talking about not leaving dirty dishes sitting in the sink, because I know that's one thing that drives her nuts. I do things for her because I want to, and it makes me happy to know that I'm helping her day be a little bit better. Not because I think I'm some fucking white knight and that'll keep her from leaving. Yeah, I do all the guy chores, and I also cook and do some cleaning from time to time. Big fucking deal. I don't mind, and it only seems fair when I'm off work for a few days and she's on day 5 in a row of 12 hour 3rd shift work in a busy ER. When I work a double and am gone for 48 hours she does the same, or when I'm out of town for a week on union business she doesn't whine and give me shit about it.

I made her two guarantees when we started getting serious: I'll never put my hands on you, and I'll never cheat on you. Everything else, we'll have to figure out as we go along. Maybe someday we'll run into something we can't figure out. While it would suck, I'm okay with that. I have no desire to try and act differently than my gut tells me to act so I can subconsciously establish dominance or some shit. I don't have the energy or patience for that, it just sounds too much like game playing to me. She's happy eating a burger in a dive bar, plays fantasy football in 2 different leagues, has a great sense of humor and is fine as hell. I don't know how I got this lucky, but I guess the universe is evening some shit up after decades of dating abject psychos.

 

Pics or bullshit. Lol

 

LOL. Not a chance in hell.

 

back at you, Sir

 

This is how it is for most married guys I know ... I don't understand it , never will .

 

There is a reason why Cavemen dragged their clubbed women by the hair ! If they dragged them by their feet ... They would " fill" up with Mud !
Edit: damn it ... Dern beat me to it

 

Yup..Around here, it's the same look. T-shirt, jorts, and a pair of bight white New Balance shoes. F that noise.

 

I only buy his socks, undies and basic Ts. He wears all of those well beyond their life limit. It's about that time, now that I think about it.