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Top Ten Motorcycle Retard Quotes

Discussion in 'General' started by bitchcakes, Nov 12, 2013.

  1. ryoung57

    ryoung57 Off his meds

    What? That's not how it works. That's always the first thing I do to my bikes to make them go faster.
  2. bitchcakes

    bitchcakes reluctant member

    About a month ago I was in the local KTM dealer just visually inspecting the new 'tards. Salesman comes over and starts dogging on the DRZ SM I rode up on and says "Yeah, we've had several guys trade those in because they won't even keep up with traffic."

    Are you effing kidding me...? :D
  3. crashman

    crashman Grumpy old man

    Wow. Traffic must be really fast in Florida. Other than a sore ass I never had issues with mine. Not even on the interstate.
  4. kanatuna

    kanatuna You can't polish a turd..

    I have customer that calls me Tuner and swears he owns a HyaBooster. I fucking hate that guy...
  5. Eric_77

    Eric_77 Well-Known Member

  6. Mr Sunshine

    Mr Sunshine Banned

    So it's ok to crash in most of your races? :Poke:
  7. Vstate60

    Vstate60 Jaspon&Armas, PA

  8. Mr Sunshine

    Mr Sunshine Banned

    You found a mirror?
  9. I should get Lora to chime in. Every bike sold at her dealership goes through her (she is the Finance Manager and handles all the paperwork, titles, registrations, etc). You wouldnt believe some of the bullshit she hears, on a daily basis.

    Guys come in there trying to impress her. They have no idea that she rides also (street and track) and of course has been involved with my racing from day one.

    "Yeah, I have been racing for a few years...the 600 was just too slow for me so I had to move up to a 1000".

    Lora - "Really, which tracks have you raced at?"

    "Pretty much all of them, i race just about every weekend"

    Lora - "With who? WERA, CCS, ASRA, AMA?"


    Just "yeah". :crackup:

    Then she will start asking technical stuff like what kind of suspension they plan on putting on it, if they are going to go with Dynojet or Bazzaz etc. She says it gets funnier and funnier the more she digs, because it gets more and more obvious how clueless they are. :D

    She says it is like comedy relief damn near every day.
  10. t11ravis

    t11ravis huge carbon footprint

    Yeah, so when is that thing getting here? Got a race next weekend!
  11. alocker

    alocker Well-Known Member

    "Helmets are unsafe because you can't hear and they reduce your vision".
  12. pickled egg

    pickled egg Tell me more

    205, dude. Don't shortchange the Tilley. :tut:
  13. dickie doo

    dickie doo Well-Known Member

    Here are a few of my favorite.

    From numerous track day guys: "I went with the 750/1K because I didn't want to waste time learning on a 600."

    From my idiot brother in law: "I used to love running from the cops on my buddy's Kawa-Busa 1300... doin over 200mph around Athens with no helmet."

    From some random idiot: "How do you like that R6? (Me: It's fun) Them: Yeah, I got tired of my 600 so I sold it for a 1k."

    From multiple idiots: "How fast is it..."

    From numerous track day guys: "Why would anyone want to race a 250 or an SV650. Those things suck"

    From me: "I guess I should service the suspension... it's probably the original fluid from 2006"
  14. In one of the few times i rode the RSV4 on the street, this conversation happened at the gas station...

    Random asshat - "That is a cool looking bike, what size is it?"

    Me - "1000"

    Random asshat - "Oh" (in that disappointed tone)..."I had a 1000 but got bored with it, so i had to get a 1400".

    I dont know how many times i have heard comments from people like that. Especially the "Oh" when they hear a bike is a 600. When they talk about how slow or bored they got, i have to wonder if they ever actually got the bike above 5000rpm.
  15. TurboBlew

    TurboBlew Registers Abusers

    I love the guys that have moved up to 1000cc bikes... but don't have leathers or minimal equipment to ride on a closed course!
  16. Banditracer

    Banditracer Dogs - because people suck

    I can see I've been missing out on some serious horsepower, I need to get one of them stage 3 kits in the race bike. How many seconds will I drop ? :D
  17. Mongo

    Mongo Administrator

    Big difference between experience and pure trust in them. Youngsters believe their Xbox won't break, Rossi knows better :D
  18. Mongo

    Mongo Administrator

    He would have been pissed off to see me doing 80+ on mine on knobbies at 350 pounds huh? :D
  19. ms.madman

    ms.madman Well-Known Member

    That is number one.

    Also, the 600 that will do 200mph that their buddy has etc.
  20. "What's the fastest you have had that thing?"

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