Top Ten Motorcycle Retard Quotes

A kid at the gym just told me about his 98 Suzuki Bandit (carbureted bike) : "it has a chip in it that makes it go from a 1200 to 1300cc."

I said, really the chip does that huh?

Yup, he said.





Whatcha got? There have to be better ones out there...

 

When I had picked up my first real Sport bike ('05 R1) I was told if I change the windscreen to a double bubble, I can pick up 10mph on the top end because of the reduced wind drag.

This was a serious "informative" conversation coming from someone who had been sold on the same idea and had a double bubble on their bike for this exact reason.

 

Some guy at a gas station, seen our bikes on the trailer, came over to tell us that his Busa does a 4 second 1/4 mile.

 

At top top top speed this is actually possibly true. We picked up many MPH on SV650s at Daytona and RA moving the windscreen around and maximizing the bubble for each rider. And that was at 135-155 mph. So at 170-200 it's plenty possible. Sorry to burst your bubble.

 

Maybe you misunderstood him. He might have meant that Chip at KWS bored it out from 1200cc to 1300cc

 

Had a customer in the shop this summer, 20 something kid with his first sportbike. Bought a lowered SV1000. A couple of the locals were in the shop when he said he had the SV up to 170mph the day before. One of the "old boys" pipe up with "Son that pile of shit couldnt hit 170mph if you pushed it out out the back of an airplane."

My favorite recurring BS is when I get the "Stage 3" kit bullshit. Ya man my Busa has a Stage 3 kit. I always ask them what a Stage 3 kit is. They never can answer.

 

Some poster on the bbs stating that Rossi hasn't had enough experience with the electronics like some younger riders do.

 

Honda Magnum

 

A chip from 1200 to 1300. That's a pretty good one, Lol! One of my favorites from the dirt guys is, "you can't even get it out of 2nd gear across that field, it's too fast!" "Yeah, I had my pistons bored out on my 125, it's a 250 now"

 

What they shoulda called the Rune...for "larger" riders...

 

Heard a guy the other day say his gsxr 600 rev'ed to 25,000rpm

 

I work in the car side of a Honda dealership. One day there was a Ducati 748 over at the motorcycle shop, getting an inspection sticker. The owner of the bike was friends with our bike Service Manager. The Service Manager knew I was associated with Dunbar Eurosports (Ducati/BMW) at the track, so he called me over.

"What do you have to do to one of these to make them wheelie?"

I walked away.

 

Was the guy named Sean Clarke and was he writing a rule book at the time?

 

I know a guy in Minnesota that has an RC51 that will go 200 MPH.

 

"The team have been great at listening to my feedback"- Cal Crutchlow, yesterday.

 

My friend races professionally for (fill in manufacturer of choice).
For some reason, from all the ones I heard this from, and I've heard it a couple times, I've never known any of them.

 

"Do you know who I am!?!?"

 

"I laid it down so I could avoid the crash..."

Random Harley dude in Salem, Oregon...

 

Yes, you're Dave K.

 

"I'm a bigger guy, so I need a 1000."

I have never had the balls to respond to a stranger with, "no, you need to lose some weight."



Another favorite of mine was a woman I worked with telling me that her Honda shadow would out-accelerate my 600RR, because she had a bigger motor.


Another coworker once saw me riding into work on my EX500 and said "JESUS CHRIST! YOU TAKE THAT ON THE INTERSTATE?" Apparently he didn't think 500cc's was enough for highway use.