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Top Ten Motorcycle Retard Quotes

Discussion in 'General' started by bitchcakes, Nov 12, 2013.

  1. Past Glory

    Past Glory I still have several AVON calendars from the 90's

    "It's not running as good as it used to. Could you check the powerband"?

    Heard in various forms over many years in shops.
     
  2. Chip

    Chip Registered

    I got a Busa because I am too big for a 600....
     
  3. eggfooyoung

    eggfooyoung You no eat more!

    When I was first looking for a crotch rocket, a friend of a friend told me I needed a 1000 because I was too big for a 600 and it wouldn't go fast enough.
     
  4. R Acree

    R Acree Banned

    Can't remember the year or the bike, but it was at least 20 years. Bike had a button that switched from mph to kph. Owner was convinced it was a special circuit that increased power and top speed.
     
  5. Metalhead

    Metalhead Dong pilot

    Bitch won't lemme have a bike.
     
  6. rolandk

    rolandk Warm-up lap winner

    "I cold tire low-sided". Oh... you crashed.
     
  7. TurboBlew

    TurboBlew Registers Abusers

    Pompano Pats had a salesman that tried to sell me a ZX12 with a Stage 3 jet kit installed. Well I couldnt resist so I played along told him I put one on a Hayabusa and it voided the warranty. He was like :wow: and asked how "crazy fast it was?":D
    After about 5 mins I confessed I was really really really interested in purchasing a "Stage 3 jet kit" for a ZX12. He frantically flipped through 4 parts catalogs trying to find it. Told him Id be back later. Couple hours later I walk by again... and over heard him giving the "Stage 3 jetkit pitch" again.:FL:
     
  8. Waterboy

    Waterboy Rain Man

    I hear all sorts of crazy shit from peeps I work with (USN). My personal favorite-"I wanna get a new GSXR 1K because I can ride the hell out this 600." Ask them if they think it's a good idea and you generally get "yeah, I've been riding for 2 months..." :crackhead:

    That and when I used to instruct the MSF basic rider course on base we would talk about the "box", two u-turns or a figure 8 and inevitably sportbike riders in the class would say "you can't do that on a sportbike." I got really good at demonstrating that exercise:D
     
  9. Johnny B

    Johnny B Cone Rights Activist

    Something I thought was funny. Photographer John Owens was walking through the Dunbar garage up
    at Loudon, looking at the bikes. Tom Fournier has a very distinctive livery for the team bikes, using the
    colors of the Italian flag for his Ducatis. (See picture below) John stopped at one bike, looked at it a little
    and then said, "I didn't know Triumph sold brake calipers."
    We pointed out that the bike he was looking at was Mike Gage's Triumph 955, decked out in Dunbar livery.

    [​IMG]
     
  10. mfbRSV

    mfbRSV Well-Known Member

    Some kid working at a local sports bar told me how he drag races guys on Busas and that he smokes them with his R6.

    How does that work? They must not be very good riders, I said.

    "Well, what they don't know... is that my bike has a jet kit."
     
  11. jeremy dunn

    jeremy dunn Well-Known Member

    Customer: I need a Power Commander for my R6
    Me: What year?
    Cust: 02
    Me: The 02 doesn't use a PC, it's carbureted
    Cust: No, it's not carbureted anymore I jetted it...
     
  12. Johnny B

    Johnny B Cone Rights Activist

    Lever?
     
  13. TurboBlew

    TurboBlew Registers Abusers

    Oh my fav... just took delivery of my 2002 zx12. Roll up to a parking lot with 8 Hayabusas. Just busting chops I asked "who wanted some?".
    One guy tells me he needs about 4 miles of road to top out his Busa. Another tells me that a 1/4 mile is too short to get his bike up to speed. Finally the one guy with a swingarm and missing 1/2 his front brake system pops off the hump to show me the 6 magazines that declared "The Hayabusa the fastest motorcycle in history" and he wasnt going to try to prove anything until the magazines say different. :D
     
  14. britx303

    britx303 Oh long Johnson!

    yep,thats my best friend i grew up with. hes one of those "MR.SPORTBIKE" guys.hes done this at 8 out of 10 of the trackdays hes done.needless to say he sold all his gear and bike sadly,he just couldnt grasp that trackdays are not races.
     
  15. G 97

    G 97 Garth

    This one time in band camp
     
  16. SPL170db

    SPL170db Trackday winner

    "There was some gravel in the turn........"
     
  17. RossK6

    RossK6 Grid Filler

    I was looking at sport kids back in 1988 when the salesman tells me "that Katana handles like a Porsche".
     
  18. jmaher

    jmaher Well-Known Member

    Had a guy tell me used to drag his knee on the ground on his hd road king all the time going around corners. Would not show me because "I don't ride like that no more".
     
  19. jimfowler

    jimfowler Well-Known Member

    I worked alongside this one guy who had a nagging leg injury which was the result of a motorcycle crash. When asked how this came to pass (and I heard him repeat the story numerous times) he was riding his bike and then as he was accelerating "the fuel injection kicked in" and pitched him off. he told the story with such conviction it would appear he actually thought this was the cause.
     
  20. cyclenut

    cyclenut Well-Known Member

    I was working at powertrain lab on a chassis dyno and was checking the roll speed accuracy. I had a car spinning the rolls and some fellas were watching. Roll speed said 50 mph and I casually said "looks about 50 huh?" One guy says "I have my new GPS in the car, I can get it if you want to check it." He was serious, we still laugh about that.
     

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