Top Ten Motorcycle Retard Quotes

I was at a gas station last month, filling up the bike, when some idiot walked over and asked how I got the edges of the tire so smooth from doing burnouts. He mentioned that when he does burnouts, he can only get the center to wear down. I told him I use sandpaper, lots of sandpaper, and he said he was going to try that when he got home

 

A life long Harley guy I knew from Naples was "helping" bike clubs in other states organize rallies for the repealing of helmet laws. When I asked him WTF his malfunction was he stated that " ...if you crash your head in an accident, your helmet won't let your brain expand "naturally" and it probably will kill you...". I explode so hard with laughter I nearly pissed myself.

 

On safety gear: "You don't need all that stuff to just ride around town."

 

"Do you know who I am?"

Kocinski or KR JR??

 

Back when I had my '03 6R one of my coworkers said his 750 shadow was faster cause I only had 636 CC's. Even the die hard Harley riders LOL-ed.

 

My 06 SV650 makes 185 HP and all we did was change cams and carbs on it.

Swear to gawd we did....

 

Dude I will pay her to tag along next time and be a fly on the wall... I would love to hear that...

 

hahaha that's my favorite. like 5 years ago i went ballistic on a local forum over that shit. after like the 8th weekend in a row where some TERRIBLE rider went down on some dorky ass newbie forum group ride and then of course had to post about it, and literally every single one was like, "there was some gravel in the turn..."

i was like, "where the fuck do you guys live? what is there like a whole alternate world made of gravel that i don't get to ride in?"

i think in like 50k miles of street riding, i've legitimately had that happen one time to me, and i didn't crash, and it was in the dead of winter after the streets had been salted from recent snow. just a little wiggle that anyone could just casually ride thru. all these dudes were in the dead of riding season in perfect weather.

 

While at Deal's Gap I had a fellow tell me he had to sell his 600 and get a 750 because a bigger bike "hug's the road bettah" and he wouldn't crash as much as that light 600 did. He was riding a Katana 750.

 

I always get a kick out of the people who will come up to glance at the speedometer to see how fast the bike will go! "It goes to 180 mph, so it must do 180, right?"

I also love the look when they realize modern sportbikes haven't had an analog speedometer for about 12 years.

 

It is almost a daily thing with her.

She has some great stories.

 

When it happened to me, it was turning into a freshly chipped and sealed road. There was some gravel, yeah, literally piles of it.

 

I got that story from a sportbike rider recently. I couldn't help myself. "You crashed to avoid a crash? So, basically, you gave up."

 

I had a cop do that to me once, when he pulled me over for speeding ('99 Honda 600F4). I didn't argue with him about it, and it got me out of the ticket, because I obviously could have been going twice as fast :up:

 

for the 1 out of 10 chance, sure. and that sucks, sorry to hear. not these guys. i mean, i know hairy shit happens... i've split 2 deer before as they were running across the street with a chick on the back, i've hit a tree branch that had broken off and was in the middle of the lane as i was leaned out on some backroad ripping (thought i was going down on that one), i was fucking around on a twisty beach road in AC one night and all of a sudden the road dead ended at a huge pile of sand and one cone and i barely got it stopped before i woulda just flipped over the bars into a sand dune. haha shit happens, but geezus. some of them would post pictures and the road looked completely clear and perfect.

the only legit one locally i can recall like that, was some Virginia mountain road local pouring oil onto the road in turns cause he was fed up with the sportbikers and a few dudes wrecking from that. real shitty to see dangerous sabotage (not to mention the environment).

 

I went riding one night with a squid group from my hometown (I was visiting an old friend who rode with them). I was on my GSXR600. One of the brah's asked size my GSXR was, when I told him it was a 600, he said, "We all gotta start somewhere."

mmmkay

 

When I bought my first TL1000R I would always get the "does that have the S RAD on it" Me "Yes" "Damn that makes it fast!"
Nest they would look at the speedo and say, "180mph!" Yup

 

While obviously an asshat, that comment was kinda funny.

 

It happened to me a month ago. Front end stepped out about one foot before I saved it. Happens often on twisty roads where cars and trucks go in too tight on right handers and kick gravel onto the road.

Funniest bs I heard was from a racing friend. We had just completed a day of racing on the North Bay airport runway (slow and bumpy "track" in northern Ontario) and there was a cruise later that night. So this friend and myself are chatting up the ladies on the cruise and one of them asks how fast we go on that track. So he answers "about 320..." (keep in mind this is vintage racing and he's riding a very ratty ZX-7). Then he adds : "...miles per hour". I nearly lost it

 

You were lucky. Any worse and you would have had to lay it down.