Admit it. You have a little Brrome in you. (shaddup)

Everybody does have a little Broome in them. Mine is mostly rechecking things.

Is the door locked?
Yes it is, I locked it earlier.
Are you sure?
Absolutely.


Are you really sure?
Um, pretty sure...





Are you really, really sure?
Maybe.









Are you "bet your life on it" sure?
Not really.










Why don't you just go check.
Okay.






















Well?
I was right, it was locked.














Sucker.

 

Really blow his mind and get him to wire up a 4-way circuit with them.

 

I don't like my food to touch. Oh, and I eat the least desirable thing on the plate first, while saving the best for last.

 

Sounds logical to me.

 

Say it, you've never installed a 3 way switch, have you?...

(They can be installed so that lights are off if both switches are down, ....or up)

 

The bill in order thing is a weird waste of time but this is the winner up to now....

 

Shit dude. I don't know. It was 8 or so years ago and they were expensive assed Lutrons that look like the MACL153's. I just screwed LED floods that I got at Costco in to the cans...

 

Show me how because the up down thing makes me nuts.

 

(Good to see I may be in dubious company, but not alone...)

Select one switch, remove plaque, unscrew switch, flip switch 'upside down', re-install.

Voila, your medication bills can go down....

 

Install one switch upside down.

 

All of my piles must remain piles unless they are thrown away then they can be heaps. Also I have to be 100% clear to everyone at all times in communications.

 

Oh shit.

Well played.

 

-Everything has a routine, no matter what it is. And if it gets messed up, I'm fucked.

-Everything has to be neat, clean, and orderly (obvious).

-I'm very claustrophobic and can't handle elevators if somebody else is in there with me. I have so many different issues/stipulations when it comes to elevators that I normally just take the stairs to simplify things.

-I won't eat pointed French fries. If they are all pointed, I'll break the ends off of them.

-I sleep with earplugs because my hearing is insane and every noise will keep me up. But the REAL reason I started wearing earplugs a long long time ago is because I am deathly scared of spiders (almost lost my left hand due to a severe reaction to a brown recluse bite), and I have this terrorizing fear of a spider crawling in my ear while I sleep.

-If I'm on the treadmill and my arm bumps the side, I HAVE to bump the other one just as hard to make it even. Same goes for stepping on cracks, etc.

-I can't go over on anything. Minutes on a workout machine, $ at the gas pump, etc. It has to stop on 0 or I must keep going. It will drive me batshit.

-I get freaked out in places where there is a lot of different noise and especially lights flashing. I can't process all of it and will have a mild panic attack. Sometimes it can even happen in a restaurant.

-I can't handle people touching me, especially strangers. I hate being touched. If somebody bumps into me or grazes me as they walk by or something, it gives me chills, makes my skin crawl, and i have to wipe my hand across where they touched to "wipe it off".

-I count stairs as I go up them and make sure the number of stairs are even, and that each foot took the same number of steps. If not, I'll have to go back down a few steps and make it work out right.

-I hate talking to people, in real life or on the phone. I handle everything by email. I might spend 10min a month talking on the phone, and that is only because I couldn't end the conversations faster.

-I can't sit on the inside of booths at a restaurant, I must be on the outside or I'll freak out (same with airplanes, I must be in the aisle or I'll take a different flight). And I can't handle shit cluttered in front of me (ketchup, salt/pepper, etc). If stuff is in front of me I'll feel crowded and trapped and freak out.

-Don't get me started on driving or traffic, or waiting in line at the store, or airports, or any of that shit.

-I'm VERY superstitious when it comes to racing and pretty much everything. I've shitcanned so much stuff simply of the JuJu I felt it had. If it has bad JuJu, I can't use it. And of course the order/timing/routine of things, what I wear, etc.

That's just off the top of my head while I'm sitting here. I'm sure there is a lot of shit I'm forgetting that will come up as I do shit or go on about my business.











Shutup.

 

Hey, I got this sweet Maserati, why does it run like shit when I put old E-85 in the tank?

 

I eat left handed. If someone serves me a piece of cake the top frosting has to be on the right side. It's so obvious why, right? Start eating that cake from the small pointed left side getting the middle layer of frosting in that bite. Then move right and that bite gets the top frosting. Keep going til you get a distance from the end frosting equal to the thickness of the layers. Now turn 90 deg COUNTER-clockwise and continue. The objective is that each bite gets exactly the same amount of cake and frosting. I'd make a diagram but I'm typing this on my phone. I've sent servings of cake back to the kitchen so that my wife/daughter/visiting woman (lol) could get it right. I mean, what are we? Savages??

 

Holy fuck some of you guys have issues. How do you make it thru the day ?


Starting to think I'm the only normal one here...

 

Fuck. I just read this list and came to the sad realization that I am at least 0.75 Broome on the Fucked in the Head scale...

 

Damn I eat cake the same way but right handed. Fucked up world we live in. Lol

 

Dude

 

Don't want (or need) to dim them, and there's no agony as the light switches are always appropriately oriented. There, I just saved myself a set of takeoff tires.