This is why Internet dating sucks

Hahahaha. Please keep these dating site stories coming!

 

Through online dating, I've discovered that everyone enjoys fun, eating, and traveling, and they all think they're interesting and unique... If I had a dollar for everyone who said they "work hard and play hard", I'd roll around town in my yellow F40 and let them throw themselves at the car.

 

^^this and people who say they like good wine. No kidding.

 

Not me. I prefer crappy wine, hate walks on the beach and cuddling without sex.

 

Everybody hates cuddling without sex. Except hot chicks.

 

You need christianmingle!
Unless you need hebrewhappenings.com
Unless you need muslimmatrimony.com
Unless you need atheistalltogether.com
Unless you need bigbootybudhist.net

 

Yeah. They're called women.

 

Sounds like they want you!

 

I think I would be good at internet dating.

 

I've had a couple of doozies...

I have one that I completely screwed up, and in retrospect, its a good thing.

There was this one who seemed nice enough - worked in a technical field, liked normal things, one or two cute pics... But she had this one pic at a seafood restaurant, wearing a big white plastic bib, holding a cracker in one hand and a mallet in the other, and the bib said, in big bold red letters CRABS

I was thinking, "ok, there's a lot of normal stuff here, nothing to really latch onto, but maybe I can go for funny...." so, I start writing....

Subject: Got Crabs?

In the email, I said I like to joke around and that the pic gave me the idea, blah, blah, blah... Apparently, this did not go over well... I never got a response.

Fast forward 2 weeks, I'm out at a bar here in town (Eddie - ) and guess who walks in?

I told my friend, I've gotta go talk to this chick. So, I go over (she's with her friend) and introduce myself and start talking... She's talking to me, and she's boring as hell. Has a boring job (works in a lab), hasn't been anywhere interesting, hasn't heard of any of the places I talk about, etc. I'm serious - I'm left-handed, and my right hand has more personality than this chick. So, I needed to liven things up. I finally say, "I don't know if you realize this, but I'm on the dating site, and I sent you a message a couple of weeks ago, and I just want you to know I was totally joking around, I didn't mean to offend or anything..." without even a whiff of a pause, the friend says, "OH... You're the "Got Crabs" guy? I heard about you."

I turned to the friend, and said, "Yeah... that's me. Are you two always this much fun?" They left a couple of minutes later.

 

I've been getting ones for Russian brides. Maybe they think with my 25th anniversary coming up in July it's time for a change.

 

I literally busted out a laugh when she said that. I couldn't help it. I still thought it was hilarious. Sadly, she was not the girl for me.

 

But that's the fun part. And who doesn't like cats?

 

BS dude. You know you meant to type Cracker Barrel and not bar!

 

OK, let's be real. It was Denny's and she had a walker... Happy?

 

I am SO looking this up.

 

I'll admit it, that's were I met my GF. Match.com is better, for sure, but both have resulted in a lot of fun and a lot of disappointment(I will stick with the fun memories).

 

Its probably different in other cities. Here, Match seems to be the big site. POF seems to have a high concentration of women with baggage and/or other issues. I don't really know the reason. Maybe because its free?