This is why Internet dating sucks

Here - sign up with Plenty of Fish (it's free), post the login info and we'll write the profile for you. You just supply the pics.

We'll have a date for you in no time.

 

I'm steered. I could just see what you guys would write :wow:

 

Who better to write a dating profile for a girl than a bunch of dudes? If anything, we know what other guys do and don't like.

 

Will you screen them and go on the dates for me too?

 

yes it is the most entertaining of the dating sites. I can lose an hour because I was going through a chick's questions and answering the ones I dont have answered and seeing a match % that started out at 90 go down to 70...
But some of the questions are really good for weeding out the chicks that are either going to drive you insane or try and kill you...

 

Oh yeah, fun fact - Sistas love them some Dart... I get probably 4 a week emailing me.

 

I met Bonnie on Match.com in August, we dated and got married in January..the rest is history. We accomplished a lot in 13 years.

 

"Seeking a low-effort relationship."

This question just popped into my head. Would you date a guy if you found out his last name was Mould?

 

Saturday Night

This thread reminds me of the Saturday night live show that had a series of ads that looked like legit dating site commercials for:

MeHarmony.com
SheHarmony.com
HeHarmony.com
WeHarmony.com

Etc....Etc....

 

Speedballer, paging speedballer. Please pick up the white courtesy phone. Your stories are needed.

 

Flygirl748

Well, let me start by saying that I am a very adventurous female and even race motorcycles, or at least I want to. This one time I managed to convince a whole community of motorcycle racers to vote for me to win a camera by showing them a picture of my jean-clad ass. That should tell you something about the quality of the goods I am offering you here today. There is this one thing I would like to say to anyone before I seriously consider dating them: Moldy bastards, or even guys who remotely have any connection with musty items, have had contact with mold-bearing individuals or other interaction with anything at all relating to mold spores need not apply. If you have ever dated anyone with moldy shit or spent time doing anything in a humid setting, hell, I really would prefer if you have never even looked at mold. That being said, I look forward to meeting quality men on this site, just not any moldy motherfuckers.

Thank you for reading my profile and I look forward to meeting you.

 

:up:

 

absolutely lost it, i am gonna cough up a lung i'm laughing so hard

definitely my new title

 

true story. Met my wife through an online site, and when I introduced her for the first time to Scott Carpenter when we all met at a local bar/restaurant, when she got up to go to the restroom, both of us guys were watching the view as she walked away, Scott turned to me and said sternly, "Don't fuck this up!" I knew then I'd found a good one. LOL

 

Bob is gay.

 

Greg Norton dated a guy named Mould.

Heck, even Pat Smear goes on dates...

 

Norton was the straight guy who everyone thought was gay. The mustache and all.

 

Flygirl, I am only teasing you. You seem very nice and I, as well as everyone else on here know you are a good person. I hope you are able to fully recover your health from the mold setback without any lasting effects.

We could collectively come up with a kick-ass profile for you though if you would like...

This was my actual profile back in my snatch dot com days:

" No way, I get to brag about myself? I love this part. Here it is, ladies!:

Let's see... where to begin? Lets just start by saying that I am recently single and believe myself to possibly be one of the most underrated assets currently on Match and bring new meaning to the tired cliche "diamond in the rough". First, I would describe myself as a semi-literate, marginally intelligent, barely articulate individual with low self esteem and absolutely no goals or ambition. You'll quickly find that my impossible personality will not only bore you to tears, but I can instantly grate on your nerves. Rest assured that should you be lucky enough to meet me you will be instantly rewarded with a refreshingly regretful feeling comprised of delightfully equal parts of depression and disappointment before you can even make something up about an important forgotten appointment elsewhere. In fact, you will probably seriously reconsider internet dating altogether as you drive home in a deep state of despair. While these epic desirable qualities are only the beginning of what I can offer you, it doesn't stop there. You will find that it is my brutal honesty that sets me apart from the other losers on here (And I could easily be in contention for a top spot for biggest loser on this site) and I feel that more than offsets my other strongly offensive attributes to give me a well-rounded personality that you just cannot afford not to subject yourself to at least once in your life. In conclusion I will add that my sense of humor has been described as a little quirky by some and yours should be compatible. Life is too short to take yourself too seriously..
But wait, there's more!:

Act now and we will double our offer AND include a free book-light!

Operators are standing by... "