SNAP replacement - "Blue Apron" style food boxes

I am paying for your lazy ass to retire, you slacker!!!!!!

 

Thank you for your support.

 

Don't think I'm not grateful. Darren too.

At the rate I'm going, you may well retire before me.

 

That's okay. I will be your push-up bra.

Don't really have a choice.

 

The mental image of Acree in a push-up bra is somewhat unsettling, to put it mildly.

 

You think it's disturbing to you???? Then again, if it looks like CY....

 

I found a pretty red one this morning and Dern didn’t even say anything about it as I paraded around the house.

TX said “support” and that is where my brain went. Sorry...

 

I'm not.

 

How is Social Security even figured? Is it based on how much you pay in or is it standard across the board?

 

It is supposedly based on earnings within the years close to retirement. I am a couple years off, so I haven't inquired. I do think there is a cap on payout just as there is a cap on how much of your income is subject to the tax.

 

I already get letters from them telling me how much my benefits are.

 

Yeah, but that's just a teaser. You still have to live long enough to collect.

 

Social Security is already drained. I won't get squat.

 

Social Security isn't drained because there's nothing to drain. There is no fund and hasn't been for a very long time.
They base Social Security benefits on your lifetime earnings. They adjust or “index” your actual earnings to account for changes in average wages since the year the earnings were received. Then Social Security calculates your average indexed monthly earnings during the 35 years in which you earned the most.
The maximum monthly Social Security benefit payment for a person retiring in 2016 at full retirement age is $2,639. However, the maximum allowable benefit amount is only payable to those who had the maximum taxable earnings for at least 35 working years.

 

Not entirely true.
It goes into a trust fund. One that is barely paying out the current retirees, one that won’t pay out my generation nearly as “well” as it does now.

You old fucks are living too long.

That is all I mean by drained - the amount of payment into the fund isn’t enough and future generations won’t be able to cover my generation unless something changes.

Don’t get too hung up on semantics - you know perfectly well my intent.

 

Yikes!

D'ern, you better be checking for signs of pulverized glass in your food.

 

Dear lord, that would be a horrible way to go. I will just knock him out with morphine and feed him through the wood chipper.

 

One vote for the broken glass thing here.
How about stuffed into a clothes dryer with a thousand razor blades?

 

That's almost Dave K level strange there.

 

I'm just riffing.

Dave's the King, I couldn't begin to come up with the assortment of shit he throws together.
I think the inside of his head is like a combination Dali/Escher/Giger painting.