Neighbor burning trash - how to handle it?

Strip down naked except for a set of wellies and a kids fireman helmet, paint your wiener fire engine red and next time he's burning wander over making siren noises and pee out the fire. The rest of the time just hang around your house like that

 

Yeah, outside pool- we have an inside pool




Sometimes




When the basement is under water





I think I'm gonna mow my lawn tonight

 

Or maybe get out every once in a while to dispose of your filtered beer...

 

Hire him to GM your Mexico plant. The day his house sells, fire him.

Bibbity bobbity problem solved.

 

Reddi-Whip cans are the bomb...nitrous. No it's not flammable, but the rate of expansion is explosive. Makes any other "can" seem weak.
Seriously.

 

Funny, because that's a bone of contention in my neighborhood. We're a small gated community of 54 houses. Everyone has minimum of 3 acres up to a couple people with 15+.

For some reason the retirees have to cut their grass after 6pm on Sunday night. And I don't mean little push mowers...these people have huge tractors. You've got 6 1/2 days to get this done; can't we have a little peace and quiet just one evening!

 

They have peace and quiet whole you're at work!

 

Next time his hose is downwind, cook off a couple of take-offs.

 

Damn, keep up old man!

 

Well, wrote him a letter yet to let him know that waste industries will drop off a can next week on my bill.

He didn't get the letter but they called him to let him know. Stupid me gave them his number, I thought it would be convenient...

He rejected it and called me. I asked him if he got my letter -no. Effin holiday weekend. If I could come over and explain- no "that'd be trespassing". Alright.


Game on bitches.

Old m' effer's gonna get to know me.

Next time I'ma call the cops. Then build a GROM track in my yard with floodlights. We're gonna run the moonlight cup at 2 am on the weekends. Who's in. There's prize money and free beer.

Next I'm gonna sell the house for half its value to the most effed up people he will ever have met.

I don't care. It's on.

Cameras are being ordered as I type

 

Seriously, just invite Metalhead up for a week or two.

 

Grom?! Broome to the courtesy phone.

 

So you're going to sell to Richie?

 

Nah, he's too high society for what I need.

On the other hand, the old fucker is 78 already. I just keep writing him letters ...

 

I love that..you'd be trespassing, but the epa, violations are ok. Call 911 fire department and ask that the fire Marshall be dispatched too.


In baltimore, I've called 911 and they have a, recording saying all of their operators are busy and to try again later. Then it disconnects you. Lol.

 

I'd go for the Billy Madison maneuver of dropping a flaming bag of shit on his front doorstep.

 

Maybe there is something he doesn't want to go into a landfill.

Tell him you read an article on the interweb that the government targets people who don't pay for trash pickup to see what they are hiding and you were just trying to help. You wouldn't be surprised if the police or fire department start showing up to see what he's burning. He might start a standoff with the cops!

 

I lit up some pizza boxes and some old pool floats last night in honor of your neighbor Hell, even fired off a few rounds from my .45 for good measure

 

Dude, you're setting yourself up to have your photo on milk cartons. I'd really really really just mind my own business.

 

neighbor fight!