Heroin - and I'm an asshole

Discussion in 'The Dungeon' started by rk97, May 21, 2017.

  1. rk97

    rk97 Well-Known Member

    my friend's older brother (35) died Friday. Overdosed. I haven't been told it was heroin, but it was at Christmas, the last time (I'm aware) he overdosed.

    I feel like a giant asshole, because I'm not sad. I'm not empathetic. I'm only pissed off.

    The same friend lost his father when we were in 7th grade. My friend stepped up and has grown up to be a man his father would be proud of. His late brother didn't deal with things as well, and here we are...

    I want to miss "Jeff." I want to be sad that he's gone. I'm not. I'm annoyed with him. I'm pissed off that his mother has to bury another person she loves. I'm pissed off that one of my best friends has to explain to his young daughters what happened.

    My only solace thus far is that this is the last time "Jeff" will hurt his family.

    His obituary makes no mention of how he died. His mother is much kinder than I would be. I am sad for her, and the rest of her family who is picking up the pieces.

    KneeDragger_c69 and Britt like this.
  2. pickled egg

    pickled egg American Dogthic

    Condolences to those he left behind.
  3. Potts N Pans

    Potts N Pans Well-Known Member

    Addiction is so powerful. Hard to break away, yet easy to start.

    So sad these situations happen.
  4. TXFZ1

    TXFZ1 Well-Known Member

    We all deal with emotions differently. I had a cousin commit suicide and I was more angry than sad at the time. Then again, I've been known to be an asshole.
  5. rk97

    rk97 Well-Known Member

    Right. I don't blame him for being an addict, but I want to...
  6. britx303

    britx303 I H8 HIPPIES.com

    I have zero tolerance towards junkies. My mom is an off/on "H" addict since her bullshit 60/70s hippy days.Her older brother was the same.....and he died this past december from it finally. I dont know how those 2 made it so long,maybe it was the lack of heroin availability for 20+ years,but its back with a vengeance now These people know going into it the risk of addiction/problems,so they did it to themselves and cannot cry after the fact. Its their own GD doing.....and they drag families along through the damn mud. Yeah,im an asshole too.....fuck'em.
    tony 340, Big Sherm, Fencer and 4 others like this.
  7. blkduc

    blkduc no time for jibba jabba

    That is unnecessary guilt. Your emotions are what they are, quit feeling guilty for them. There is no right or wrong way to feel.
    _indy and Big Sherm like this.
  8. SPL170db

    SPL170db Trackday winner

    I understand what you are going through. I had someone close to me lose their life to addiction. To be honest I as well feel bad/sad for those who have their lives taken from them. but I feel much less bad for those who throw their own lives away willfully via substance abuse or suicide. Its a shame to see to be sure, but harder for me to feel sympathetic for them.

    I think of all the people in the world clinging to life by a thread fighting to stay alive (like NH69 is doing right now) and it makes it alot harder for me to feel bad for the people who treat it far more cavalier. But that's just me.
  9. auminer

    auminer Renaissance Redneck

    There is only one person responsible for an addict, and that's the addict themselves. Any assistance you offer is only enabling the inevitable downslide into addiction. All you can do is let them sort their own lives out for themselves however they end up doing so.

    Whatever happens to an addict is no-one's fault but their own.

    This may sound harsh, but having lived it on both sides of the fence, I know from whence I speak.
    crashman, D-Zum and Banditracer like this.
  10. sheepofblue

    sheepofblue Well-Known Member

    It would sadden me that a life was so wasted but no more probably.
  11. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK ├╝ber alles!

    I have no sympathy or soft feelings for heroin users. None.

    I think heroin dealers should be taken from the court house after conviction and be hung from the nearest telephone pole.

    and the oxi slingering doctors and the heads of the corporations that hook people making junk the next step should be shot in the face and left to slowly drown on their own blood. They produce more heroin junkies than grunge music and boredom combined.
    D-Zum, Chris, In Your Corner and 6 others like this.
  12. SPL170db

    SPL170db Trackday winner

    Very true

    Almost without fail, the only thing that will help an addict is for you to let them hit rock bottom on their own and at the depths of desperation they make their own mind up to fix things. Anything else is usually just prolonging and/or enabling them to continue.
    auminer and Banditracer like this.
  13. rk97

    rk97 Well-Known Member

    I think I figured out how I can gracefully deal with this (publicly).

    I am on vacation and only have internet on my phone, but I found this non-profit. http://stopheroinnow.org/

    I can keep an addict in rehab for 32 days with a modest donation in memory of my friend's brother. I can do some good, and hopefully help his mother feel like her son's death helps prevent some other mother from sharing her pain.

    I think several of my friends will get on board with this as well. Especially those who can't make it into town for the funeral.

    Just need to vet this organization a little more.
    Fencer likes this.
  14. XFBO

    XFBO Well-Known Member

    Godspeed to Jeff and my condolences to his family and friends.....

    You feel what you feel, sometimes we can't control our emotions, you don't really mention if you ever had a real relationship with Jeff or not? If so, don't be surprised if your emotions sneak up on you in the near future.

    I've seen my fair share of the addicted, I wouldn't wish that sickness on my worst enemy. Sad isn't even putting it mildly.
  15. crashman

    crashman Getting slower every day

    This. I have a sister that is a complete worthless sack of shit junkie. Pills, booze, illegal drugs. Whatever she can get her hands on to get fucked up. The entire family has tried to help and she refuses to admit she has a problem. One of my kids memories of their aunt was her being so fucked up at a Christmas dinner that she could not even get food all the way in to her mouth and had it all over her face. Great memories. Thanks sis...
    I know this sounds harsh but it would be better in the long run if she just OD'ed and let the rest of the family move on. It would hurt my parents but the pain would not drag on like it has been.
  16. auminer

    auminer Renaissance Redneck

    That was my cousin. I've posted on here about him before. Life on a silver platter and he pissed it away trying to escape from it. :confused:
    Found out he was HIV+ and took his own life on his 43rd birthday.
    Waste. Pure and simple waste.
  17. cBJr

    cBJr Well-Known Member

    Heroin sucks. I've lost a friend and stepfather in law in the last year from it.
  18. jase

    jase Your kind makes me sick!!

    Sorry for your lost.
  19. Orvis

    Orvis Well-Known Member

    I have a slightly different outlook on junkies. If a person that's reached the age where a normal adult line of thinking should be occurring, and they decide to "experiment" just because some so called friend encourages them to so, then screw them. They're adults and actually do know better. However, if some existing junkie talks a youngster, that doesn't' have the full power of reasoning developed yet, into trying drugs then I feel that efforts need to be expended to try to help the kid even as he grows older. As some of you already know, trying to end a drug habit by yourself is just about impossible. Sometimes you just have to walk away from a junkie even if that junkie is a person that you care about. :(
  20. prospected

    prospected Well-Known Member

    I police the Heroin capital (Baltimore) of the US on a daily basis. If the people running the recovery programs, clinics, and volunteer camps had sense like you gentlemen we might actually make a difference in combating the problem. Fact of the matter is, when someone is addicted to heroin they never recover.

    You're not an asshole for being a realist. They're the asshole for destroying their own family. On average, we respond to 4-5 "reported" overdoses per 8 hour shift per district. Drive down to any MTA lightrail stop and they'll be 10-15 deep in the dope fien lean at any given time. The methadone clinics are a farce and do not work. Methadone actually produces side effects similar to heroin itself and the government is wasting billions in bandaging a problem they have no solution for.

    Current brew of choice is Heroin mixed with Fentanyl or Carfentanyl. This new mix is what's finally killing the people off however, it's provided 0 deterrent.

    Everyone has a choice but there is no one to blame but themselves.

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