Does anyone have any advice on divorce...

So, my wife left me a week and a half ago. I went through some of the normal pitty bullshit. She is being fairly cool about the whole thing. She says she is 100% done and no way to fix it even though I offered counceling. She does not want anything from me other than to be friends and be there for our 10 month old daughter. She says she is not even going to get an attorney.

Is there anything I need to watch out for or be prepared for? We have been together for 8 years and married for 3. I never noticed our problems and it kills me to know what I have done. I see that I may not have the opportunity to fix our relationship but want to make sure I cover my ass. Thanks

 

Get an attorney and get everthing in writing no matter what she says.

 

+1 On that!

 

That sucks man. Sorry to hear it. I'd say get it over with and move on but the child will make it more difficult. Not knowing the details I'd just say try to remain civil. I've managed to remain pretty civil with all my exes (one wife, numerous GF's) but one. Makes things much simpler. Remember what they say about time and don't burn any bridges due to heat of the moment things. Hell, you might even end up getting back together....

 

Thats what I was thinking but we can write up something without an attorney. We know several notarys who could act as a witness also. She is trying to be civil and we have agreed to try and save each other as much money as possible so we both agreed not to get attorneys. I will just feel it out for that.

 

get an att bro,hell has no furry as a scorn woman.get joint partenting rights for your kid make sure verything gets spilt down the middle.every thing dont take her word,be smart. she gave you no clue that she was leaving.not to be a dick but are you sure the kids yours? my buddy just found out after 3yrs that his son isnt his.now he's f up.

 

Yeah, Im not burning any bridges yet. She moved in with her parents and I am giving her the time and space she says she needs. I hope we can get back together but I wont just let her come home. IF she decides to try and make it work, we will see a councelor to try and fix the problems because I will not go through this again.

 

It would be so simple without kids involved. Not sure about IN,but in Alabama she could potentially eat your lunch on child support...even years later (back child support) if you piss her off and she decides to litigate. Does not sound like she's that way, but you never know...

 

I can honestly say, there is no doubt the kid is mine and there is not another man. I was not looking for the signs which is why I did not know she was leaving. It is hard for me to admit my mistakes but I see them know.

 

I've had instances where they think you're all bad but when they go out and test the waters they start realizing all the other guys are jerks too and want to come back.... Good luck man, it's tough!

 

Not trying to be flip, but you might want to change your avatar.

-jim

 

You can find some help online. I will tell you it is hard to get a divorce(especially with a kid) without an attorney. Judges tend to be critical of the paper work when no attorneys are involved. If you have any friends that are attorneys or paralegals they could give you some advice.

On another note. No matter how nice she is being, be prepared just in case things blow up. Trust me. I learned the hard way.

 

Tread lightly my friend. If shes trying to be civil, I'd do what I can to keep it that way. You need a lawyer. Just try and talk it out with her and convince her that some sort of legal council will be best for both of you in the long run.

 

Nothing gets you over the last one like the next one. While I've never been divorced I have had relationships end before...take her word that it's over, admit to yourself that mistakes were made and move on. Don't dwell it on...do the best that you can. Remember that just around the next corner might be that woman (or man )who does totally get you, loves you for your faults as well as your strengths.

Be thankful for your child and just strive to be the best Dad you can, while not forgetting that you're human.

You'll get through this and be a better man for it. :up:

 

But....but....but.....I LIKE THAT AVATAR

 

+1. Try to work out what you think is an agreement with her (house, cars, child visitation, etc..), bring that to a lawyer and have them file it. Easiest is to get most of the agreement before a lawyer to save some cash. Worked for me at least.

 

Get your butt covered in the form of documentation that a lawyer writes up to protect YOU! Do it soon before her attitude changes!!

 

I hope everything is okay with you. None of my business, but was it something you expected? +1 on the snak...I mean lawyer.

 

Geeze, she has only been gone a week and a half. You guys sure are in a hurry to get lawyers involved. I've had girlfriends that took longer than that to cool down over some of the shit I've pulled. May I ask what happened?