As noted, mine is only 2.5, but even she knows how to be respectful. If she isn't, we press the issue at home, where a meltdown isn't going to disrupt anyone else. When we're out in public, we let more things slide, because the entire restaurant doesn't need to endure screaming just because she wanted MOMMY to put on her bib instead of me. That said, pressing the issue (at home) consistently should eventually lead to fewer public incidents... I like to think my kid is pretty well behaved. For now. I also remove her from "public" when she's not.
Been a professional Academy coach (U5-U12) for around 8 years and I can say that as a general rule of thumb there does seem to be a pretty noticeable downward trend in work ethic and respectfulness each year. Typically the goods one stick around though.
Been involved in youth sports myself for many years. Started coaching and officiating when I was 18. Basketball was fun and I wish I still had time to do it. Started with 11-13 year olds. Just old enough to understand everything you tell them and young enough to not have a horrible attitude yet. They were my favorite. Couple years of that then moved up to coach 14-17 year olds. Was lucky enough to even get some of my old players from the younger division. Luckily by then, they were old enough that they were just doing it for fun. It was rec league so mommy and daddy usually weren't the types thinking their kids were getting scholarships for it and they were playing of their own free will. I was lucky to have mostly great kids. Other coaches weren't so lucky. But I also had strict rules. Most of them drove and the ones that were too young could hitch rides with teammates. Since it was rec league we had rules that every player had to play a full quarter. I didn't obey those. We only had one practice a week and it was the same time every week. You miss practice, you don't play. Period. Yes I made exceptions for the occasional sickness or emergency. But they knew the rules in general. Attitudes also had to be in check. Throw a fit and I pull your ass. End of story. At the end of every season I always had one of the most disciplined and talented teams. In 5 years, only failed to make it to the league championship once and that was my first year with the younger kids. We also had seven 11 year olds out of 10 kids in an age group that went up to 13 and still only lost 4 games if I remember correctly. But most of all I always felt respected by my kids and like they looked up to me and I tried to set the best example I could for them. I still remember one game where I felt my coaching lost us the game. So next practice I ran laps. I also held myself to the same standard I held them to. Baseball on the other hand is a different story. I've umpired 6u-8u for the last 10 years. Started doing rec league and occasional travel tournaments for a couple years and then went strictly to doing travel ball. When I started, travel ball was pretty exclusive, much like when I played. Only the best of the best. It's expesnive so that weeded a lot out. Now it's diiferent though. We have multiple times more teams now than we used to the talent is far more spread out. And the parents are a nightmare. It's dumbfounding how many ejections I serve up in a season. And it used to only be parents and coaches. In my first seven years I didn't eject a single player. I've ejected 3 in the last 3 years. At 6-8 years old for fucks sake. And it could've easily been 4 except one of thems dad was actually smart enough to yank his ass up before I tossed him so I let it slide. Pretty sure I just finished my last season of this shit. Sad part is just a few years ago I said I'd umpire even if I didn't get paid because I enjoyed it that much. Now I don't want to do it despite the pay and that's considering I can make as much as $600 in a weekend doing it. It's that bad.
"But coach it's not my fault!!" Or my personal favorite are the parents who blast you personally on social media because you have a losing season. Love it..
If my daughter who can drag out putting on her shoes for 15 minutes can grasp the concept of "if you're not 10 minutes early, you're late" anyone can.
soooo....When being the head coach is not being the head coach.... I am the "Head Coach" of one of our 3/4 grade REC girls softball teams. I did have to miss the first couple practices due to quarantine from a trip, so the assistant coaches handled things, and this is recreation, not the serious travel team stuff. I haven't coached with all these dads and one of the girls has 2 dads as coaches (step/bio) I did not grow up playing baseball, but basketball, but I have coached on enough softball/baseball teams to get the idea. And coaching is coaching, also, that's what assistant coaches are for, show the players what to do, etc. So I show up on Sunday for practice, and have a general plan in place...work on hitting, pop-ups, and pitching. Well, I messed up one of the assistant coaches "plans", and he was upset about this. Then while working in field, on a comebacker to the pitcher, the Pitcher gets the ball and throws to first immediately. Other Coach was like great play. I was like great play getting the out, next time let's just check the runner going to second, in case there's a play. No big deal to me, and teaching moment. Assistant Step coach ran after her and was like great play, you don't have to look to second for that. The stepdad dude was again visibly up when i decided to play a 5v5 game in the last 1/2 hour. I messed up his plan. Anyways. When leaving he was like next time we can discuss what the plan is since he didn't know that I was going to be there. So I should check with him. Went home, my kid was like that coach over there was talking about you, saying you don't know what you are doing, and that she doesn't like this team, especially the coaching. What to do? I wrote an email to all the coaches, thanking them for their time, with a few lines of if you are to criticize myself or anyone else, do so when no one else is around or at least not in earshot of the kids. Assistant step was the first to respond via text, and denied it, and was like he didn't mean to undermine me, but we didn't follow through with his plan, and that was ok, but next time to communicate with him about his plan. And with the player incident, he was like I should talk to him first before I talk to the player. and well..........there's a bunch more I'll continue you this story later, if anyone is interested....i do have to go to this second practice.
You're the coach, and coaching isn't a democracy. Also anyone who doesn't say check the runner ( unless there's two outs) shouldn't be coaching
I’m expect the explosion of parents towards me this sunday, Tuesday at the latest. Taking two of my 9th graders (playing down due to lack of experience) to practice with the HS JV tomorrow night. I expect to lose them to the HS by the second game and I’m cool with that (other wise I wouldn’t do it). “Why didn’t you ask my daughter?!?!” And the rest of all the shit they always come up with the parents (and some of the kids).
When I was head coach, I had a policy that I only talked to kids about playing time. When parents emailed I reminded them of the policy. If the kid followed through, I talked to the kid. Otherwise, the issue was stillborn. YMMV. PS, as asst coach I don't talk to parents at all. It is glorious.
Sounds like my neighbors. Lived in my house 10 years and neighbor boys are 14 and 11 now. Mom shovels snow. It drives me insane and I can't be bothered to even wonder why or how.
The nice thing about hockey is that you have to be certified past a certain level, and the certifications weren't easy to get. Each level allowed you to coach a higher class of athlete. I made it to Level 3, which permitted me to coach up to Club level college. 5 was the highest but there aren't many 5's around. It is a great system because you know the coaches are qualified and I had very little issues with the parents because part of the teaching is how to diffuse the situations before they get out of hand. I still carry my beat up old card for sentimental reason.
I'm usually the defender of the current generation from the "kids aren't what they used to be" discussions. But the dynamic of parenting like is being described has a real impact on things, which is too bad. I played baseball basically my whole life until college. I'll never forget that even in my local little league, when I was in the 11-12 year division all-star team we would do double practices in the summer. This wasn't one of the travel leagues, just local LL ball, although that is the big age group and international tournament that ends up on tv. You'd have a bunch of 12 year olds at the field warming up, practicing a couple hours, stopping for lunch mid day, and then more practicing for an hour or two. Everyone bought in and worked hard. It is one of my favorite memories from baseball, despite playing in higher caliber teams later. And as a family any summer vacations would be planned right before school started to avoid missing games/practice. I hope more kids get that chance, because it's a rewarding experience.
Helping coach my boys team is the only way I can tolerate baseball. I actually look forward to going to the field now.
continued Through emails, one of the knowledgeable assistants asked for a practice plan to avoid any conflict. I was like I've never coached either as an assistant or head coach to give a practice plan for rec ball. I gave an outline to try to play nice. I then get some email about it, again prodding me, and at that point, I was at the end of the day, I'm the Head Coach. Well that didn't sit well. One was like you expect us to come and you tell us what to do, you're not valuing our input. In my head, I'm like yeah, shouldn't there be a main chef and then all the cooks go do what they need to do. And uhhh, this is for the kids, not for the coaches. So at this second practice, we ran some drills pop fly and fielding drills, while I worked with some of the pitchers. It was cold yesterday, so in the middle of it, i had them run the bases to try to warm them up, timed them for friendly competition, and they all cheered each other on, and was talking to each other. We then did some batting practice with situational plays. Well...I thought it went well, I was told otherwise. Mind you, I didn't grow up playing baseball, I played basketball. So I am all for more knowledge is better, and what not. I really just wanted to be like let's do some hitting drills, coaches what's the best way today to do that, etc. I was told I wasted a lot of time, I did nothing right. The coaches need a plan, and then the assistant offered to do the practice plan. I was like fine, just to keep the peace. My girl loves to play softball, She's not the best, but she tries. And, no doubt they have more baseball knowledge about drills, etc, but that was my original point. I would have a rough outline on what we need to work on, and coaches help us get there. 2 of us coaches was like they had a lot of fun just running the bases, and then the asst coach was like we need to plan the fun, can't just have girls lined up waiting to run the bases. As all the coaches are in this heated discussion, the girls on their own, lined up at home and was laughing and timing each other run the bases. And I was like they look like they are having a good time. I was like whatever, we'll do the plan, and one coach was like, when it's game time though it's me(BB) that is control. They all agreed....at least now, until we lose a game probably. I thought we all had an understanding as we left. On the car ride home, my daughter goes to me, unprompted, I liked that practice a lot more than the last one. I get an email at 1am from big assistant coach outlining everything that went wrong at this practice. literally a 10 minute email. I basically said, lots of things could have been improved, we said those knowledgeable will come up with a plan, and we have some great coaches. I really wanted to say GFY, but again, trying to be a Big Bird here. tl;dr Coaches Ego>> player fun while learning
It pisses me off to read this type stuff. I just had to introduce my soon to be teen age daughter to the Jeckle/Hyde character within me cause she told me she was letting her nails dry and she couldn’t do what I told her.
I enrolled my twin sons in flag football Spring of 2019. I briefly considered being a coach but quickly shut it down and said fugggggggg that noise. For the exact reasons posted above. I supported the coach and consistently asked the kids, did they have fun? We didn’t win a game. But I damn sure had fun and even tried practicing with my sons. You also can see the talent in some of the kids early.
Yeah... Good times. For 3/4 grade it's still mostly about them being excited about playing and learning fundamentals, unless it's a really serious team. I would like to coach my kids down the road for baseball and such, but I just am not sure it's worth the headache.
