I have been coaching for many years (mainly U-16) and had some fantastic players who went on to get scholarships, play for good club teams, etc.. I don't fancy myself as the best, but from the teams I have coached, I've built solid programs that focused on endurance and a strong fundamentals. This current crop of players, not just mine, but the other two teams as well, have all of our coaches baffled. I've never seen a group of kids so willing to just quit. Not walk off the team quit, but give up within a few minutes of the game starting and not really care. Anyone else seen this?
Yeap and if you push on them to even try, mommy and daddy get upset that you're singling out their special little snow flake.
I've only coached this year, and it's been tee-ball, two teams: one girls and one boys. My observation is that the kids come and go as they please. Being part of a team is not really a priority any longer. The girls team was much more focused, complained less, and wanted to be better. The boys did develop, but some parents really didn't care much. Then they wonder why their kid can't hit the ball, field anything, etc. Well if you bring them once every two-three weeks, and don't even attempt to practice at home...it's on you. My boys team of 14 kids sometimes had 3 players show up. I would say maybe it's me and I suck, which is probably valid, but it wasn't just my team. Growing up the team mattered, now it's about me only. e"sports" are where they are at.
Done had that conversation with Snowflake's dad. He doesn't come to the games anymore cause I'm a big meanie-head.
My wife played D1 volleyball around 2000 and started coaching when she was 27 and loved it. Did it for a few years and ended up quitting for the reasons that you and Dave touched on. She would come home and tell me stories that made me want to punch those entitled little shits and there lazy ass parents in the dick. All because my wife was trying to prepare them to be able to play at the college level. And I'm talking about highschoolers on competitive club travel teams, not some kumbaya everybody wins league.
I think there are just less kids these days who are required to do things around their own home and it makes them lazy. I have lived where I am now for 14 years. The next door neighbors have 3 boys and I've watched mom cut the grass for 14 years. The youngest just graduated and I'm not lying, seriously, I have seen him cut the grass not more than five times. Never once saw any of the boys run the weed eater. I wanna walk over there and say, What the fuck is wrong with you parents? Too many kids grow up sitting in the house doing whatever the hell they please while dumbass parents let them. So when these kids are on a team and things aren't the way they would like them to be, they don't want bothered with it because they are too accustomed to doing what they please, and NOT doing what they don't want to.
The worst I saw was a few weeks back and a very expensive camp. A couple of "Soccer" dads took part of the day off to watch their kids and glow in their awesomeness. "We started junior in kindergarten a year late so he could gain some size against the other kids in his grouping and it's paying off. He wants to go to Georgetown and we figured this sport was his ticket." Meanwhile the other dad was agreeing and said pretty much the same exact thing, just change the school. This is 10 or 11 year olds! Meanwhile their kids were sitting on their coolers playing grab ass and not paying any attention to what their coaches were teaching and doing on field. Coaching can be fun but F@ck that crap anymore. If it isn't lazy kids, it's stupid parents.
There are still kids, just not many, that really work hard and want to be the best and do what it takes to get better. Those few still make it fun to watch. There is a kid on the local high school baseball team who will be a senior this year who has a good work ethic that came from both parents and this kid literally out-shines his team mates. He takes it seriously, works hard, and respects his coaches.
If this is true, then people aren't parenting the same way they grew up. I feel like that's the impulse. I'm no kind of expert on parenting. My whopping 31 months of experience barely qualify me to comment, let alone 'advise.' My dad's take was always, "I didn't have 3 boys so I could do MORE yard work." I don't really know if my sister (11 years younger than me, and 6 years removed from my youngest brother) mowed the lawn or not. I do know that she got a lot of things handed to her that I had to work for. I bought my car. Used. From my dad. I paid half up front and financed the other half through yard work, until I got a 'real' job. I know my brothers bought their cars as well. My sister didn't pay a dime for her car. She didn't get to choose what she got, but she got a solid, well-maintained car for $0. I think this has more to do with my parents having more disposable income now that their oldest 3 are out of the house, and they didn't want to deal with driving my sister around. That would be consistent with people waiting until later in life to have kids, and more families having dual incomes. The parents are in a position where they can throw money at things (lawn service, cars, whatever) rather than attention.
I been coaching youth lacrosse forever.......and I've loved it and had many kids develop into incredible athletes, section title winners, and D1, D2 and D3 NCAA players. Extremely rewarding. But I've noticed over time that fewer and fewer kids step out every season ready and willing to work. Mommy and Daddy will kick the kid out of the car 2 minutes after practice starts (Jr. had better have a good tuck-n-roll because they barely stop the car) and then they disappear for the next two hours while Jr. pouts and sulks and is a general pain in the ass. And then Mommy and Daddy are mystified why Jr. isn't playing to the skill level of the rest of the kids, or playing as much as the rest of the kids, and then they DEMAND some answers. Sad stuff.
Plus if she was the youngest and the only girl there might have been a little bit of spoiling going on..
But why is that? I find myself doing and saying shit my dad did and said without even TRYING. Yeah, I throw my own spin on things, and my wife is a 'variable' in my method of parenting, but I think we're on track to do a comparable job to our own parents.
Because you "liked" the way you were raised or attribute the way you turned out (which you are happy with), to how you were raised? Not everyone can say those things. I think that's the case with my wife and I and thankfully we were raised in similar manners, so we tend to agree on how we parent our kids.
I don't know why. But I know for a fact parents will put off any kind of accountability by saying, Oh he/she is just a kid! When a kid does something disrespectful and I hear a parent follow it up with that comment it drives me fuckin CRAZY!
sometimes it's the truth though. How can you teach them something they've never seen or done? Like touching a hot oven. You can say it 1000x times, but they will try it once and find out what happens Sometimes, they are just a kid
Junior gets bear runs, frankensteins and rockettes under he and his parents learn what time practice starts.
Notice I said "something disrespectful." I know there are times when a kid is just a kid. But when a kid does something they KNOW is hurtful or damaging, don't give me the he is just a kid bullshit. Anytime my daughter did something that was out of line as far as repect for others, I did not tolerate it. And you know what? Those kids you see in the Walmarts and food joints who don't know how to act in public? My kid wasn't one of them.
