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Top Ten Motorcycle Retard Quotes

Discussion in 'General' started by bitchcakes, Nov 12, 2013.

  1. PMooney Jr.

    PMooney Jr. Chasing the Old Man

    I've been there once. I don't know squat about KTM's so stopped by to get some education on the difference between the 400 and the 450.

    Sales guy: "I don't think KTM made a 400."

    Lol, nevermind. Must have been the same guy!
  2. Oh that reminds me of something.

    At one time, I had a Gixxer 600 and a Gixxer 1000, both of the same year, both were black and gray, both with aftermarket black pipes. To the casual observer, it probably looked like i had 2 of the same bike.

    I had them on the back of my trailer one time and a guy came up to me at a gas station and was like...

    Dude - "I used to have some crotch rockets".

    Me - "cool".

    Dude - "What is the difference between those two?"

    Me - "400"

    He just stood there in silence, for like 10 seconds. It went straight over his head. :D
  3. SPL170db

    SPL170db Trackday winner

  4. HPPT

    HPPT !!!

  5. trispdtrip

    trispdtrip Poor, Fat, Slow Racer

    I use to have a customer who like to pull the front end up when he was doing 190mph on I-285 around ATL. On his 750 no less. He could corner low too.

    The "I had to lay it down" never gets old.
  6. Karl_L

    Karl_L Well-Known Member

    Two of my favorites

    "There are 2 kinds of motorcycle riders. The ones who have crashed and the ones who are gonna crash."

    "I don't need to wear a helmet. If I crash I know how to land without hitting my head."
  7. G Dawg

    G Dawg Broken Member

    Guy comes in with a 03 636. Tells me it's got all the work done to the motor including a stage 4 clutch which allows him to upshift without lifting or using clutch.
  8. SPL170db

    SPL170db Trackday winner

    You should mic her up or one of those little spy cameras and put some footage on the Utoobz for everyone to enjoy.
  9. bitchcakes

    bitchcakes reluctant member

    Another good one:

    "a 1000 is more stable on the highway than a 600"

    Yeah, the extra 30 pounds really makes a big difference.
  10. SPL170db

    SPL170db Trackday winner

    I would've replied with: "Have you had your urologist check that out?"
  11. R Acree

    R Acree Banned

    LOL. The only time I had a MC that would bury the speedometer, they had the mandated 85mph speedo.
  12. RubberChicken

    RubberChicken PimpMasterT

    Average phone calls to a motorcycle shop:

    Caller: "Do you have gaskets for a Doke?"

    Me: "A what?"

    Caller: "A Doke? You know, it says on the motor DOHC. Doke?"

    Me: "Oh, yeah, we got gaskets for that, which ones you need?"

    Caller: "You know, the piston gaskets!"

    Me: sigh


    Caller: "How much for a tune-up?"

    Me: "What year and model motorcycle, sir?"

    Caller: "I just want to know how much for a tune-up."

    Me: "Well, sir, I need to know what year and model of motorcycle, because the service charges can vary."

    Caller: "That include tires? I gotta get inspection."

    Me: sigh


    Caller: "What's the fastest bike?"

    Me: sigh
  13. I dont know how many times i have heard somebody say (or seen them type)

    "My Busa/Tiller/insert other heavy ass bike here...is more stable in the corners because it is heavier".
  14. bitchcakes

    bitchcakes reluctant member

  15. kjohnson

    kjohnson Axis

    Goober Squid : I do one-legged stand-up wheelies at 150mph on I-20 wit my boys.

    Me : Sure you do.

    Goober Squid : Yeah I do.(Shouts to fellow moron) "Ay yo! Dis dude don't believe me!"

    Me : And I still don't (eye roll).
  16. Haha, she would probably do it too. :D
  17. milroyjr

    milroyjr Flatlander

  18. Jay305

    Jay305 Well-Known Member

    In my leathers and gear, " aren't you hot in all that?"

    How fast does it go?:crackup:

    Those things are too dangerous!:Putter:
  19. mattf

    mattf Banned-a-lama-ding-dong.

    "Loud pipes save lives."
  20. backcountryme

    backcountryme Word to your mother.

    You beat me to it. I was going to put the same thing.

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