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Top Ten Motorcycle Retard Quotes

Discussion in 'General' started by bitchcakes, Nov 12, 2013.

  1. KWyman133

    KWyman133 Well-Known Member

    You have to put a taller rear tire on the bike so the chain clears the ground. :D
  2. Razr

    Razr Well-Known Member

    Did you take it for a test ride? I think I would have to ride that one.
  3. cBJr

    cBJr Well-Known Member

    Great now we are going to have to listen to him try be funny for another 6 months...
  4. Hyperdyne

    Hyperdyne Indy United SBK

    I like the look on the faces of the normal sportbiker crowd when they ask about "how fast it goes, etc.." only to excuse myself to go chat up the crust vintage guy that rolled up on a Bonneville or Scrambler. Those guys always have the best stories.

    What is nice about the normal group of Ducati enthusiasts I interact with, they are genuine guys that like to ride. I tend to find the Hypermotard and touring guys in general are pretty hardcore.
  5. TrackStar

    TrackStar www.trackstar1.com

    I will when its done
  6. Team G

    Team G Wake me when its over

    Jfc, you'll peg the rev limiter before the wheel makes 1 revolution. How's that for launch control?
  7. redtailracing

    redtailracing gone tuna fishin'

    kind of off-topic but just out of curiosity don't the newer r6 le and r1 le actually come with a couple factory upgrades? I could be wrong and I know its nothing major but seems like I remember it being something more than paint. Kinda like iirc correctly the SV650S came with I think an inch longer swingarm and maybe geared different?
  8. bitchcakes

    bitchcakes reluctant member

    "Its got Race Cams." -there ya go. that one comes up alot, especially with guys with v8 cars that only have one camshaft.
  9. Mechdziner714

    Mechdziner714 More Gas Less Brakes

    Them ninjer bikes is wicked fast.
  10. ToddClark

    ToddClark f'n know it all

    she should put a webcam up and film that shit. Dont let them know, of course, then post up the hilarity onto YouTube with their faces blurred out. She'd get so many hits, she'd probably make some money off it. :up:
  11. trispdtrip

    trispdtrip Poor, Fat, Slow Racer

    When I got my first SV (2000) I was told I needed to put some Gorilla Rods in it and some Fat Sides. Den she'll be fast!
  12. vizsladog

    vizsladog Well-Known Member

    How many strokes dat got? I'll never forget it.....followed by.....ewwwwwww thats a bad hamma knoccka
  13. sdiver

    sdiver Well-Known Member

    I get this all the time:

    "What's your top speed at the track?"
    Depends, some tracks 125 on a lightweight others close to 200 on a liter bike
    "Wow if you hit a pebble in the road at that speed you're dead"
  14. Derick

    Derick Well-Known Member

    ohlins suspension (not true ohlins)
  15. kjohnson

    kjohnson Axis

    Had one numbnut try to convince me that his R6 came with factory Ohlins shocks and forks.

    I said,"No,uh,not even close.The Japanese try to keep the unit costs on suspension around $250 per unit."

    He replied," I read on the internet that Yamaha owns Ohlins,so that's an Ohlins shock."

    Can't make this shit up.
  16. kjohnson

    kjohnson Axis

    Had a Harley wanker blurt out," I don't ride that Jap shit!"

    I reply,"Really? Think so?"


    "Lemme see..... you have a Mitsubishi harness,Hitachi high torque starter,Keihin carbs,Showa suspension.Did you know that Showa is 50% owned by Honda?"

    He shut up and left.Kinda quickly.
  17. Jed

    Jed mellifluous

    Barber's Dairy. All the products are Barber's and all the locals refer to anything Barber as Barber's.
  18. Stormdragon

    Stormdragon Apogee of the nadir baby!

    Ah, the parts counter. I remember it horridly. :crackup:

    My favorite:

    Dude at counter: I need a piston for a 500.

    Me: Okay, for a single, twin, or a four cylinder?

    Dude at counter: <blank look>

    Me: Does it say CR, XR, XL, or CB on the side of the bike?

    Dude at counter: Doesn't matter. They're all the same!
  19. motion

    motion Nihilistic Member

    I called a local independent HD shop, asking them if I could bring my HD down for a leakdown test. "We ain't got no fancy equipment here to do that kind of thing" was their reply.
  20. Coopster

    Coopster Well-Known Member

    The story goes

    A husband and wife go to the m/c shop to get a bike for her.
    They inform the sales guy of this.
    He keeps talking to the guy about the different bikes, the husband keeps telling the guy that the wife will be riding whatever bike they choose to get.
    After the third time of talking to the husband, the salesman says something about "those crotch rockets over there".
    The wife takes the guy by the arm and about spins him around, points to the bikes in question and says "THOSE are sport bikes. What I have in the drawer of my nightstand is a "Crotch Rocket".
    Salesdude turned white and about fainted!

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