Top Ten Motorcycle Retard Quotes

ahhh Ducati... the Porsche owners of the motorbike world (which sucks cause 911s are some of my favorite of all time to drive).

i will say this tho in defense... when i had my speed triple all decked out, i would get AWESOME dudes coming to talk to me. like old guys telling me tales of their youths and their Triumphs and how they met their wife on it or something. that doesn't happen with any other sportbikes... just douchebags. so i didn't mind it as much because of the difference.

 

I'm working on a CBR1000RR for a guy right now. -1 +12 sprockets. Asked me if I thought he would have any problems "getting it up". I told him if he couldnt "get it up" with a -1 +12 sprocket kit that not even Viagra would help him.

Blank stare.

 

Well played.

That thing probably tops out at what, 50mph or some shit?

1st gear is good for 7mph.

 

I can't tell how many times sellers have tried to tell me there must be
custom race gears in a clapped out POS.

 

"Is dat duh hownduh wit dat lsd screen?"

 

"Thats a nice ninja"

Whether i'm on my VTR, my GSXR, Fiances SV650....without fail "thats a nice ninja"

apparently, all sport bikes are ninjas...

 

My favorite is when I park somewhere and I come outside to store guy leaning against my bike talking to people about it as they walk by. It's happened 3 separate times.

Either the first or second time I can't remember a group of Indian dudes were gathered around either my zx10 or r6 and so I walked up and joined the conversation. Half way through they notice I'm wearing gear and ask what I ride. I reach in my pocket, grab the key, start the bike and all the guys just stand their with the most confused look on their face. Completely priceless.

 

Good grief!

I'd had not phantomed that +12 would even be available on any bike...

 

Phantomed?

 

I was hung up on the "I'd had not" part

 

It is sorta like fathomed, except nobody can see you while you can't imagine it.

 

That was pretty good Chris.

 

nice one.

 

That one got me

 

I know this guy who is 100% convinced that his Repsol 1000RR(06) makes more HP than a normal CBR1000 of the same year, believes it has all sorts of special parts on it, needs octane booster to run correctly, only uses Repsol oil etc etc.

He wont run anything other than Michelins on it either...since thats what it came with from the factory, I quote "It even has the sticker on it to remind you".

 

I am loving this thread.:up:

 

Technically calling the track "Barber's" is correct as Alabama/Birmingham legend and long time man-about-town George Barber built and owns it. (as you all know). I'm sure when it was being proposed, planned, and finally built many thought of it as "Barber's track".

 

Oh I love those types. They buy the "special editions", like the GSX-R1000 "Millionth Edition" or some shit and then swear up and down it is faster, and has a motor build etc.

Or when they go to looking for spare/aftermarket parts, they search for ones specifically for their "Limited Edition" because it is different and needs parts that work with its special build and tune.