Okay time to liven things up a bit with some jokes!

Damn dude, how long you been sitting on that waiting for someone to ask that question?!?

 

What do 'Brokeback Mountain' and the NFL have in common?

They both have cowboys who suck.

 

When the wife sends me to the store to get cucumbers, I grab Vaseline as well.

Can't have people think I'm vegan.

 

You almost never hear jokes about Jim Jones.
The punchlines are too long.

 

Why do most men have a foot fetish?
Because they lost their virginity to a sock.

 

If I could say one good thing about my wife's cooking, she sure broke that dog from begging at the table.

 

Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Because Ken comes in another box.

 

Have you heard of the bees that produce milk as opposed to honey?
Boob-bees!!


Why did God give women two sets of lips?
One to piss...one to moan.

 

A man is walking in the woods when he finds a suitcase.

He opens the suitcase and inside are three foxes. So he calls emergency services and says

"I just found three foxes in a suitcase. What should I do?"

"Well," the operator said, "Are they moving?"

"I don't know," he said, "But that would explain the suitcase."

 

I commend you for your self-control. I know more than a few clowns here who would have put that in the oddball picture thread.

 

Damn thing belongs under the oddball title.

 

If you fųck up a meal, just call it "Chicago Style" and serve it anyway.

 

I fired the janitor for smoking pot. I can't stand high maintenance people.