Would I have gone to jail if I...?

shot the absolute f’in butch in line in front of me at the grocery store?

Doing some shopping during my lunch break to save time on the way home. Get in line and see an elderly lady is checking out, with one person in front of me.

The elderly lady is using a check (gotta be an old person thing), no problem. Then she sees that the store allows for you to make donations to a local animal shelter as part of your grocery bill. The elderly lady then proceeded to make a donation. Soon enough she was on her way.

The entire time this was taking place (~3-4 minutes tops), the bitch in front of me was sighing like crazy, checking her watch, tapping her keys, “pacing” in line, etc. When the elderly lady left, the bitch let loose with a string of “OMG! I can’t believe she took so long. She was holding up the line!”

The elderly lady heard this and turned and apologized for taking so long, and went on her way.

I proceeded to call the bitch in front of me an absolute “self centered bitch on wheels” and dressed her down pretty well. The cashier smiled, knowing I was right.

So...all knowing beeb, would I have gone to jail if I just shot this dumb bitch on the spot? Gawd, I wanted to.

People suck. No if’s, and’s or but’s. They all suck. At least the ones under 30... I can’t belive how much this angered me, but I’m still stewing about it.

 

I'd help you reload.

 

BRAVO sir!

 

I'd be mad as hell too.

























...who still stands there and writes checks? Get the fuck out of the way woman.

 

Meh...you're just pissed you couldn't be first and buy the entire stock of whatever was in her cart.

 

I would only do that AFTER she pissed me off.

 

The Beeb preferred nomenclature for such creatures is now "whorenado", but congrats on your successful takedown of said character.

 

Guarantee that I can write a check quicker than you can get your card approved.

Come on Chris, it's a race

 

I've shaken my head and tapped my keys when waiting behind people who use checks still at the store. Mostly I put on a "who the fuck still uses checks??" face while I'm in line. But I never say anything....outloud.

 

I've seen machines that write the check for you as it slides through the box, those are ok.

 

I'ma have to start writing checks at the grocery store.

Better yet, not only am I not going to fill out the payee, date, etc, etc while they're ringing up my shit, I'ma wait til they tell me my total before I even get out my checkbook.

 

For me, it isn't so much the check writing itself, it is the slow motions with which people who write checks normally operate with.

If they jerked their checkbook out as if it was on fire, then boom...got my pen, let me write this shit...pow, bam...im out!". It would be different. I just can't handle all the fucking about.

"Oh goodness, where did I put that pen......ohh, there it is, I can never keep up with it........ok, what was the total again?.....by the way, how is Margaret?.....can you believe she still goes to the same church?....what is today's date?.....ok, let me fill in my register.....oh wait, how about I make it for an even amount and I can give you the change for the rest, I need to get rid of some of this change......I know I had a nickel in here...wait, do you have a store paper, I think I saw some coupons............".

The whole time my blood is boiling.

ANYTHING that has to be done...can be done fast. I can't stand it when people don't do everything with purpose. Plan your business, move faster, be efficient, and just get on with it.

 

I like the self checkout, if Im impatient, I judge the speed of who is in line and the cashier before getting in line.

 

You calling the woman out and not siding with her is way more painful than shooting her. She will complain to everyone about you...Mr. Mean Man!!!

 

Triggered.

 

Retail harrassment, the next big trigger.

 

Millinnials are killing pleasant check out experiences.

 

I have no patience for people who are slow because they're lazy or stupid. Old people do not count in that group. I figure they've earned the right to take more time doing things. If don't have the respect to patiently and politely wait a few extra seconds for somebody who's been on this planet for 70 some years and seen/been through all the shit that goes with it, you're a cunt.

 

The length of the line is only part of the equation. You also have to factor in the fullness of their carts, their age, the age of the checkout person, the speed of the checkout person, if they have someone assisting with bagging the groceries, etc.

Then after factoring in all variables, prior to making a final decision, you have to check the time and see if another checkout person is standing nearby preparing to relieve that person for break/lunch. If so, then it starts all over.

But you have to work all of this out fast because more people are approaching the checkout lines so that variable can change quickly.

Going to the store is so fucking stressful for me.

 

When I spend over $200 on anything, I intend to savor the purchasing experience .