Okay time to liven things up a bit with some jokes!

Discussion in 'General' started by Pepe Le Ghey Pew, Oct 25, 2007.

  1. tiggen

    tiggen Gringo AF

    I was on the train last night, sitting across from this young, hot Thai woman.

    I said to myself "please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection."

    But she did.










    *originally found in ADV forum's joke thread
     
  2. pscook

    pscook Well-Known Member

    My daughter got a one day suspension for not turning in her homework.



    I'll let her back in the house in an hour.
     
    Fuzzy317 likes this.
  3. auminer

    auminer Renaissance Redneck

    A naked man arrives at a costume party with a girl on his back.

    "I'm a turtle", he says.

    "Oh... who's on your back?"

    "That's Michelle", he replies.
     
    scottn and Banditracer like this.
  4. gixxernaut

    gixxernaut Hold my beer & watch this

    A middle-aged man is cruising the seedier streets downtown in his wood-panel station wagon. He stops at a light and a scantily clad young lady taps on his passenger side window. He rolls the window down and she suggestively asks, "Hey handsome, do you have anything hard you'd like me to take care of for you?"

    "I sure do. How much do you charge?"

    She smiles sweetly. "Are you a policeman?"

    He answers, "No, just a regular guy with a job and a mortgage."

    She winks and says, "For $500 I'll do anything you want."

    "Anything? For $500? Hop in bitch, you're painting my house!"
     
  5. BSA43

    BSA43 Well-Known Member

    ^^^ A variation on the old Buddy Hackett joke.

    RIP, Buddy.
     
  6. gixxernaut

    gixxernaut Hold my beer & watch this

    Might have been where I first heard it for all I remember. Something reminded me of that joke's punchline yesterday and I fabricated the rest to share here.
     
  7. auminer

    auminer Renaissance Redneck

    There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke.

    After a particularly nasty one, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started. The professor got wind of this, so the following day, he walked in and said, "Class, did you hear about the shortage of whores in India?" all the women stood up and headed for the door.

    "Wait, ladies!" cried the professor. "The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!"
     
    sdg, Dan Dubeau, renegade17 and 3 others like this.
  8. tzrider

    tzrider CZrider

    That's a definite 'Pick your crowd' kind of joke.... Or it may leave a mark. :D
     
  9. gixxernaut

    gixxernaut Hold my beer & watch this

    Humor is as humor does. And sometimes...

    notamused.gif
     
  10. auminer

    auminer Renaissance Redneck

    My wife walked in on me while I was watching porn.

    In a panic reflex I instantly changed to a random channel, the fishing channel.

    As my wife walks out again she says: "you should stay on the porn channel... you know how to fish."
     
  11. DmanSlam

    DmanSlam Well-Known Member

    Seems there is an alternate moral to the story like if only bio Mom were around (to show daughter self-respect for her body) or if only bio Dad were around (to show daughter how to pick decent guys).

    I noticed this situation happened on granny's watch though. Because granny's too old, tired and deaf to mind her granddaughter who's taking easy advantage? Are you an age-ist? :) :)
     
  12. SundaySocial

    SundaySocial Blue and Gold

    One of the old goats around here laughed so hard his eyes leaked.
     
  13. gixxernaut

    gixxernaut Hold my beer & watch this

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