Most crazy girl you ever dated..

Toofpic?

 

I don’t get the bloodletting and violence in bed. Even worse is degradation shit... I like having fun but will not ever slap or even pull her hair nomatter how she begs. That’s a deal ender for me. Too many good girls like to have respectful athletic sexathons for me to be dealing with whatever suppressed trauma causes that shit

 

Good if you haven’t had to deal with trouble causin women... hope you still have had wild fun lights on or off... hell hit up Q... he’s got aunts running trains on the regular if that’s your bag

 

Q nothing I’ve read so far made me laugh out load like your camp out! My goth blue ball night was nothing... you said it was a familiar sound? Wth is going on in your burgs to make that familiar?!? And taking over the command Hahahahaha damn man!

That aunt had some serious issues not even counting banging under age dudes

for the record any of y’all that are tagging up and the tagee I’m sure have issues and the stories qualify for this thread[/QUOTE]
Eh I feel like the sound of cheeks clapping and a chick moaning is pretty universal

 

Find out if she got fukt by her dad while he wore a Stay Puff Marshmallow Man mask.

 

Eh I feel like the sound of cheeks clapping and a chick moaning is pretty universal[/QUOTE]
The way it was written was like you’re used to hearing multiple partners sex in your tent... and you were 17! You know that goth not cuzin of mine was around Knoxville yall are freaky early in TN

 

Duh fug??

 

Oh I knew. Just never cared to pursue until I literally had nothing better to do and was drunk enough to say fuck it.

 

Not sure to be honest but I’ll go look. Also still trying to decide if it’s appropriate to give her some free promotion on here or if that would be a bit of a dick move at this point now that I’ve revealed something a bit more personal and potentially embarrassing about her.

 

Former coworker of mine married a girl for this exact reason plus he felt sorry for her daughter and thought he could be a stable figure for her. I told him it was a big mistake but he didn’t listen. That was 5 or 6 years ago I believe. Not sure where they stand now.

 

Hey it wasn’t my aunt. I ain’t that depraved.

 

Alright, so the gf that liked to try an get us caught, she also had a really weird thing with her athlete friends, she was 5’9” solid muscle and built so perfectly, of them all her I miss. Anyway I’m house sitting for an uncle and it’s my bday. My mom had a party for me and my entire football team was there, I told her not to have one, I stopped to grab some clothes and “surprise” yeah, f that I had my gf and her bestie in the car, so I left, told all of them thanks but I don’t want to see any of y’all tonight, they knew I had the house we’d been partying there. So my gf and her BFF have a special night planned, we get back to my uncles and we’re opening my presents, one piece of clothing at a time. About half way into what was the best night ever, her brother and the rest of the guys from the party are banging on the window. I’m pissed but I ain’t stopping for nothing, doors are locked, I’m having my fun and theirs too. So they quit knocking and I’m back in the groove and I hear a door open.. wtf? Then hear my uncle yell we’re home! My car was in the garage, and I never park inside he knew something was up. I got mine and finished so my spank reel would have a happy ending forever.

normally I’d have had a rag or sock or something, but I was interrupted. We scrambled for clothes, my aunt and uncle came in as we’re half dressed and running down the hall to the garage, they knew both the girls and their families, which was worry some for them. Then we hauled ass, all hell broke loose when we caught up to my asshole friends that interrupted, I’ll post that later.

my aunt who was a bitch made my uncle come home early from vacation because she wanted her own bed. She jumped right in and got in the puddle of goo. My uncle called the next day and told me about it, I apologized and he said I only have one question... did you have both girls in my bed? I said no sir, they had me in your bed!

 

And @Phl218 dont y’all have some free for all sex romp thing for young adults in Germany? That has to have some crazy stories.

 

I was really trying to stay away from this one,and here I go..
I was 17,first sportbike cruising in town with some other friends on a Saturday night.Stopped at the mall hanging out,and a chick in her mid 20's pulls up in a bmw.
We start talking,she wants to go for a ride,so I borrow a friends helmet and take her around.We plan a date for the following evening.I pull up to her house (Double-wide)
on the bike.There's some dude standing in the front door giving me the eat-shit stare down,as she comes out.We ride off,no big deal.I ask her a few stop signs later."What was that
guys problem?" (her) " Oh that's just Jeff,he's pissed!"
Im like who tf is Jeff? (her) He's my husband...
You gotta be shittn me!? You have me pick you up at you and your husbands house (double-wide) for a date!? She plays it off like its no big deal,so I let it go.We eventually end up
at a Holiday Inn that night.She pays,as Im a broke ass kid.I later find she's paying for everything we do with good ol Jeffries credit cards.
Few weeks pass,and I highside my nuts off coming home from work.Im tore up pretty good,and still living with ma.
M comes over to my moms to check on me.She comes in with a shit ton of gifts.A new ghetto blaster,new cordless phone,and some other electronics.Im flattered/speechless,
and while moms cooking dinner "M" gives me a hand job on my couch.Being as no one else has ever given me one of these before,I was taken aback,and began to hyperventilate.
Not sure why I mention that part,just thought it was funny. Did I mention husband Jeffry is a manager at Radioshack? Yeah...thats where all my goodies were stolen from.
Few days go by,and my step dad wakes me up one morning.Wants me to go look out front of the house.This crazy mfr "M" had tagged the whole front street in front of my house
with I love you shit,and my full name every few feet! It gets even better! I work part time at a bike shop on weekends,and when I get to work,the owner is waiting on me.
He takes me out by the shop,and yet some more bat shit crazy tagging with my name,and love you's all out by the shop.
Im pretty pissed at her,but I get over it..of course I do.Im 17,and laying a 20 something.A few weeks pass,and she rents a new apartment,and takes me to see it.Gives me a key,and tells
me Im welcome anytime,and should move in with her.I don't,and start to get creeped out,finally..The following weekend,My self and my bf are at her apartment having a few drinks.
I don't remember exactly how it went down,but she was poking fun at my age,and I said something about her being old.Next thing I know a Vodka bottle going past my head barely missing
me,and breaking on the wall.I was out,done,finito!! Im trying to leave and she's crying,apologizing,but done! So bf and I leave and stop at the shop to talk about her,and she comes hauling
ass behind us.Still wants to make up,and Im done,and give her keys back to her.I ride home,and glad that shits over with.
Next day at the shop I get a call from bf's mom.He never came home last night,so im thinking he's dead in a ditch.We spend hrs looking for him with no luck.I finally start to wonder if he
didnt go back to "M's" apartment? I ride over,and there sits his white vfr.He comes to the door in a bath towel,and I couldnt believe it!What an ass-hole/idiot!!

They end up a couple.He ends up miserable.Comes to me one day telling me she's asking to shit on him during sex,and he's very scared.I don't know what he did about that.I do know some
years later she cleaned out his bank account,and he went to a hotel to kill himself,but didnt do it.
I got some more stories,but I hate typing,as I are a truck driver

 

u had me at shit on his chest

 

I had an aunt that I would've. My mom's brother married her, so she was no blood kin of mine.

Damn. Uncle had great tastes!!!

 

Dated? Or just screwed?

Cuz the craziest of the latter would've been the admiral's daughter that me & me buddy tag teamed on the golf course of the Norfolk Navy base.

I never did find my shirt.

 

I should have known!
Beetle Juice
Beetle Juice!

 

Ger name wasn't Patricia Cornwall / Patty Breton was it?