Lawn Dart Airlines

I know right. What in the fuck makes them think I am going to give up MY leg room because they brought too much shit?

 

Exactly.

Window seaters on Chaotic Wings are allowed to go piss/shit, granting they can do so without disturbing the people sitting beside them.

The only exception is if the aisle person has to piss/shit. If that happens, the window person is allowed to get up also. But none of that bullshit where I get up to go piss, have to wait in line so I am up for a good 10-15min, then I get back, settled in my seat, start my movie then suddenly "I need to get up". WTF, you saw me get up and be gone for 15min, and then 30 seconds after I am back you decide you have to piss?

 

There is always waiting while on the plane. The ground staff finishes their stuff, pilots finish their checks, flight attendants get people sorted, etc. But at least then I am sitting down and reading my RRW in peace. They can take their time about boarding as long as nobody is waiting on them.

But with that being said, I do agree with the time limit. They should setup a 15' test area with stripes on the floor in the lane as you are approaching the boarding pass lady. As each person is walking towards the lady to take the boarding pass, they are timed from stripe to stripe. If they don't pass from one stripe to the other within the allotted seconds, they are denied boarding.

 

The planes must all be symmetrical as well right Chris. None of those 1 by 2 shits they have on regional jets

...might as well be flying a Beemer.

 

No. that shit is ridiculous. I don't even see how the plane can fly straight. When I walk on those planes and round the corner to see that, I just stop in my tracks and am like "you have got to be fucking kidding me, what kind of shit is this?". One time I said that loud enough that the stewardess looked over real quick all worried and was like "is there a problem Sir?" Haha

 

What always surprises me is how many people will give up their leg room to some 6 bag carrying on doofus. I travel with just a backpack so I do not have to worry about shit like that. It is always the same assholes seated in zone 400 with multiple carryons that crowd the boarding gate too. Any more I do not even say anything to them when I push past them during boarding. Just drop a shoulder and walk...
Thinking about planes and airports always gets me pissed off.

 

I check everything I can. I'd go with no carry on briefcase or backpack with laptop if I could.

 

I do too. Lovette bought me this big Oakley backpack and I can carry my laptop, ipad, phones and chargers, 2 changes of clothes, travel/shaving kit, magazines, etc in it. Since I got that, I check everything else. I used to have to bring a rolling bag because I often times have a 12hr layover in Dubai or London or some shit and will get a hotel and want to change or have to do some work.

Now I only bring that backpack.

If I can travel across the world, literally, with only a backpack on the plane, there is no reason for these motherfuckers to have 4-5 bags with them....or the HUGE rolling bags that either take up the whole thing or end up having to be checked anyway.

 

Amateur I travel around the world with just my back pack which carries my laptop and my Tumi international size carry-on. Everything I need for at least a week living out of a hotel room without having to do laundry. I have become extremely efficient at packing my shit. In fact now a days when I travel with my family, I make them only do carry on which really annoys my wife but I hate waiting on luggage.

 

We're motherfucking the people when we should be motherfucking the airlines for not enforcing their own rules.

 

See, I eliminated the carry one roller entirely. Most of the time, I wait no more than 20 minutes (max) for the airport to poop out my checked bag. That gives me time to throw a wizz, have a smoke, stretch my legs and get my head together. They've misplaced my bag twice on maybe 100 ~ 150 opportunities and only one time was it any bother.

I over pack like an amateur and don't care, don't have to deal with taking out the plastic bag full of toiletries and no hauling a roller through the airport to/ from my flight.

I am shopping for a undersized carry on for those two or three day trips but I'm dreading having to deal with all that shit.

 

Broomes plane will never get off the ground because he'll be taking up the pilots seat playing with all the buttons.

 

No...he'll start flying and then, once it's in the air, he'll start messing them and then come back here and ask what they do.

 

They fly with the yoke turned slightly to the lighter side the entire time the plane is flying straight. Think about that the next time you're sitting on one of those. That should make the flight more entertaining.

 

I've been on one of those before on the short flight between Huntsville and Atlanta, and probably will be again at some point. I really dislike you for sharing this information.

 

Haha. I will start flying first, thinking I can figure it all out on my own because I don't need no damn manual. Then I will come here and ask what all the buttons do.

 

Counter steering?

 

I don't think about how to make the thing go straight or what keeps the giant tube in the air, I just think of things to amuse myself and how not to talk to people next to me.

 

Charge passengers by the pound. I've even got a formula: Passenger weight = W

(W² x .001 x Flight miles) / 250

200 lbs on a 2000 mile flight = $320
400 lbs = $1280