Graduating to white plates

I race, and race often, but you wouldn't ever see me. I'm in the front, and I run white plates.

You would know that if you ran more than one race a day, and weren't getting asspacked by that kite.

 

Wow, you must be the baddest ass to ever make his way out of Toughsville.

What's your name and race number, Marquez?

 

Vicious Cock fight!

 

its been said that those that ask these questions, get greeted with all the chicks they can handle.. straight off the fat camp bus..

 

Nawwww, player; these slim hips can't deal with a big girl. I'm not trying to be Jack Sprat!

 

I will never forget the first week after I got my bump letter. I was on the couch, watching TV while I opened up that days mail. After I had gotten the notice, I got up to grab a snack. I felt it was harder to get off the couch. Turns out, my cock had grown 9" (Now 9.2" in total length, it was bigger before, but the yellow plates shrunk it when I started racing)

I proceeded to turn to my wife and tell her "Woman, head upstairs, it's time to get your dose of Vitamin D." We fucked like two teens on crystal meth, and she couldn't walk normal for 3 weeks.

The next day I was driving to work, slinging my new white-plate wang around doing the helicopter. I was obviously not paying attention to my speed, and a female police officer pulled me over for doing 65 in a 30. When she asked for my license and registration, I simply gave her my new WERA expert license. No proof of registration or insurance was needed. She got so wet just from looking at my new license, I got out of the car, pulled down her pants, and screwed her brains out on the trunk lid of the police cruiser - for all passer bys to see. After giving her the sex of her life, I let her off with a warning for delaying me to work.

Boss bitched at me because I came in late and was cussing up a storm. Not in a mood to take any shit, I pulled out my expert license again and asked him "Do you know who the fuck I am?!" When he asked "What the fuck is WERA, you retard?!" I flung the license at him like a ninja star. It slit his jugular and he bled out right there on the floor. Time clock that, bitch.

Deciding I had nothing more to prove at work, I decided to head home. This time I purposely did 65 through the same area where I got pulled over earlier in the day. She was still there, running radar, and I blew her a kiss as I sped on by.

I had to pick up some groceries for the weekend, so after I gathered my items, the check out lady asked her how I was going to pay for all of the food. Yet again, I handed over my WERA Expert license. She told me it wasn't a valid method of payment. So I merely unzipped my pants and slung my man meat on the counter top. You would think a 60 year old woman would have seen a meat stick at least once in her life, but she proceeded to faint. I saw no need to take any more action, so I took my buggy full of groceries and left.

Fast forward a few months, and I go to my first race weekend as a sex-pert. My whip out my expert license, like a fucking boss I might add, and register for the races. The registration ladies were less than impressed with my license - it appears as if some gypsies have casted a spell on them or something to make them immune to expert licenses.

In my very first expert race, I proceeded to come in dead last.

The end.

 

Bravo sir. Nailed it.

 

now i see why jeff is so fired up to get that bump!

 

This is more or less my plan. Thank you, my good man.

 

Serious question regarding the bump to expert: if you haven't renewed your newly expired WERA license yet, do they still send you a letter? I was expecting a letter but have not seen it, but I just realized I haven't renewed yet. (Yes, I will get right on it!)

 

Hahaha!!! That was good chit right there!

 

:up: Mr. Bearing, Sir.

 

so what you're really asking for is that magic card that gets you off speeding tickets, and get free groceries....

 

LOL, I think I burped-up some indian food while laughing. That sh!t is stuck in the back of my nose! I don't want to snort it down too hard. It would melt a lung. Aaaargh!

I think Ed is getting back in because Jeffro is getting out at least that's the rumor I heard. Actually that could be the sound track to a DP flick - nevermind (can I get banned for that?)

Steve

 

Yes, I really need some larger equipment to help me with the ladies!! I hope this card really does everything they say it can!

But the question remains: Is it more powerful than the NESBA bump card??

 

I gotta say I love Wheel Bearing and Mr 300.

I figured Sowega would get off his kiddy girly bike and come race a teenage girl bike like an SV with me we can be like some graduated 250 Expert mafia.

That's right bitches hail to those experts who got their licenses by kickin so much 250 novice ass!

Bow down when I come to yo town.

 

They came with my yellow plates.

 

hoping none are related to you....14xidb

 

Nope, all rentals.

 

I dunno, that one chick in the black shirt is kinda busted.