Sorry, man. Due to my income potential in the US, I would have been screwed. The only disadvantage I face here is that I make a lot more money than my wife, but that is only because of her choice. She was hired here as a manager, with a very high salary by German standards. After one year, she chose to take a demotion and switch to part time, which is allowed by law (with no other penalty), over my strong objections. Due to her education (she is a PhD, which carries tremendous social and career weight here), she could earn a lot more than she is currently earning I will absolutely use this against her, in order to prevent any attempt on her part to show hardship. The court will agree with me.
Sorry but my sledgehammer is broken due to being a casualty of this thread. It can & will bring you to your knees.
So now, even before I had a chance to discuss a formal custody agreement, it‘s war. My daughter got sick while with my ex on vacation, and the ex blames me, and is taking it out on our daughter. This is way more than I can handle.
This reads like your ex is punishing your daughter because she's (mom) mad at you that she (kid) got sick under her (mom) watch. That can't be right.
How long has it been since you have had to negotiate non-male logic? (not that the logic on the beeb is indicative of Vulcan level thought).