Biden gets the nod and subsequently drops dead on stage at the Democratic national convention. Hillary, who is coincidentally waiting backstage, steps into the void to save the country from the evils of conservatism. She selects Buttigieg as her vice president to sew up the alphabet soup vote, and they are swept into office on a tide of sympathy votes after Trump is caught on camera telling drunk Irishman jokes at Biden's funeral. Bernie becomes Secretary of the Treasury. Warren leverages her Indian ancestry to obtain a job as Secretary of the Interior. Late in 2023, Chinese becomes the official language of the people's republic of America.