Can wild squirrels be trained? (paging SpeedyE, I guess?)

Here's the situation:

These fkn squirrels won't keep their grubby paws out of my bird feeder and I want to avoid purchasing one of those feeder stands because they aren't tall enough and most of 'em look like shit anyway. None of this is a problem because I enjoy a good challenge.

At first I was just sending the dog out and getting a good laugh watching squirrels and dog running around like idiots but in short time I was not as entertained and figured I needed another boost to get me laughing again.

Fast forward to today. I decided to break out the airsoft AK and found out it is far more effective in the entertainment department than the dog and, unlike Fido, airsoft BB's travel at 400+ fps (in this gun). Also unlike Fido, the BB's can be shot into the trees for what feels like infinity.

My question is, can these little bastards be trained to keep the F off of my bird feeder or should I just break out the .410?


If there are other ideas the bleep has please feel free to offer them.

 

Search YouTube for "Squirrel Launcher"

 

Why not put out a separate feeder for the squirrels ..? They would likely leave the bird feeder alone if they access to food that's easier to get at.

 

I don't know, but I hate those fuckers. They always run under my wheels while I'm cycling, I think they're out to kill me.

 

One of the best videos ever!

 

They can be trained but it takes dipping them in flour and about 15 minutes in hot oil...

 

Squirrels are rats with fur coats. You don't want to bait them to your home, they carry lice and ticks that spread disease.

Get rid of the bird welfare program. Problem solved.

 

http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&...ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:19,s:0,i:112&tx=89&ty=69

 

.22 cal air rifle if you have to be quiet, or just a regular .22 if you don't.

Shoot'em.

 

They obviously train themselves, as they learned where your feeder is and how to get at it.

Make it difficult to access your feeder. When they figure it out (and they will), change it up. Hours of entertainment as they try to outsmart you. Use the dogs and the airsoft as a side show to keep them off balance.

 

Claymores! Also keeps hippy drum circles from forming, religious zealots from knocking and gets rid of the neigbor's dog that keeps pissing on your herb garden.

Want to be a pussface, try roman candles.

 

A slightly cheaper, yet less entertaining solution is switching to Safflower seed. They really don't like it, but the birds do.

They sell it at Lowes and HD. A bit more than the cheap stuff per pound, but less than any of the premium foods.

I also have a feeder that's a tall cylinder shape with a spring loaded cage. Birds are fine, but when a squirrel grabs on to it, the cage lowers over the feed holes. Funny to watch them trying to figure it out.

There's also a few hot pepper seeds that work well, but can be $$. I tried making my own with hot pepper, but it didn't work as well.


We now have a fox living in our back yard, and I'm seeing a lot less the varmints. We throw our old chicken carcases out there at night, which I think is what got him there. Now he snacks on bunnies and hopefully squirrels.

 

Easy solution . Buy 1/8 steel spikes . Drill holes in the stand and insert the spikes . Use glue to keep them in . Point them downward and out from the stand around 4 inches.

I did this to my moms and it works.

 

Call in Buckwild, he's the master squirrel fighter.

 

Safflower seed. Birds love it, squirrels do not.

 

Rat bastards!

 

I HATE to admit it, but it was (sic) funny

 

Shooting them sounds like fun. That's what I used to think until one of those rats took one to head (or near to it) and didn't die immediately. Flopped around all over the place and I had to clean up all of the blood (wood deck).

 

I dunno.....it's a non-issue with me.

I love animals, all of them. I love seeing wildlife in my yard....deer, coons, possums, birds, etc....I love to just stand there and watch them do their thing.
I put out dog/cat food at night in the winters for coons/possums....put out peanuts and birdfood in the morning for the squirrells and birds, don't really care who eats what. I just know wild animals have an extremely hard/tough life and there is nothing wrong in trying to help them out.

It makes me sad when people label them as varmints/worthless and hate them for no reason, and kill them w/out blinking. I can only attribute this to not ever having physical contact w/ a wild animal, contact that would show them they are more than emotionless varmints.

I can say from experience of bottle-feeding hundreds of squirells, prolly a thousand possums, hundreds of coons, etc.....that each animal exibits his own behavior and personality. They are truly individuals and have every right to be here, as we all do.....they are also capable of immense affection when raised w/ humans, just like a dog/cat.

I have held and rubbed the belly of a badger, a week after capture.


I have been licked in the face by an adult injured fox 3-days after rescue.


I have been licked on the face by a hand raised (and released) large Buck two-summers after it's release.

Adult possum a week after capture...Other than displaying teeth, possums do not bite (and carry ZERO diseases).


I have been kissed on the face by a wild bobcat 3 weeks after capture.


I sat down next to this injured (and dangerously scared) 40-pound coyote....sat with her for a while, finally touched her and let her know I was not a threat, and she let me pick her up and gently put her in a dog crate and take her to the vet's....once she got past her intitial fear, she never growled, never showed any aggression.


I tackled this sick 50-pound coyote and she fought for her life....intense wrestling match.....to put it bluntly, "it was on!". She was fighting to the death.
Once taken to the clinic and put in a kennel, we were able to examine her, pet her, check her teeth/gums, etc....without any aggression from her....in fact as each day went by, she became more friendly.


I have been greeted by a coon I raised, months after I released it....it saw me enter it's territory....came up slowly sniffing, realized it was me and climbed up my leg into my arms and gave me kisses. Tossed him on the ground and he followed me around while I walked around his pond. He remembered me, he showed me love, he showed me even though he had gone 'wild', he still had feelings for me. And, when my friend tried to pick him up, he was bitten and the coon bolted away (proving that this was indeed a wild animal).
Picture is me saying goodbye on release day.


Animals are amazing and full of love and affection, not just dogs, all animals are amazing.

This is my friend's coon, Sweat pea.
Someone thought it would be funny to shoot her, then take a 2x4 and bash her snout clean off her face. Ya know, fun stuff.
Sweat pea will remain in a loving houshold for the rest of her life, thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars spent on corrective surgeries to save her...she is one of the sweetest angels......rivaling anyone's loving pet dog.
She is happy, but not free, not where she belongs.....all because people think these animals are worthless and are put here by God for us to torture and abuse for our enjoyment.



I would challenge anyone who thinks these animals are 'nothing' to spend time working with them.....you will walk away from it understanding they are no different than your pet dog.....they are capable of all of the same emotions.


All conflicts w/ wild animals are correctable....home/attic invasions are easily correctable by knowledgable wildlife specialists. As is most other issues.
An animal does not deserve to die for eating food laid out in front of him....he is only trying to survive and doesnt know the food is for "someone" else.

Please call the wildlife hotline and speak to a volunteer, they can give you good advice, and help the problem. All (most) problems can be fixed w/out killing.
http://www.wildlifehotline.com/
http://www.wildlifehotline.com/welcome/mammals/squirrels/
Call Anytime! (636) 492 - 1610 Or Call Toll Free: 1-800 - 482 - 7950


I know you all think I am insane, mentally troubled, nuts, etc......but the truth is, I have seen "behind the curtain" and I know what is back there. If anyone who has a heart, has seen and experienced what I have been lucky enough to, you would not call me crazy.

Best of luck w/ the squirrells....

 

"this is the honey badger"