Sales Weasels Unite!!!

Discussion in 'General' started by ChemGuy, Aug 15, 2019.

  1. ChemGuy

    ChemGuy Harden The F%@# Up!

    In case you missed it the corporate speak thread has, as per usual and basically on schedule, turned into a sales bashing love fest.
    As an aforementioned sales weasel I take umbrage at the lies and negativity thrown on our illustrious profession.

    Sooooo....lets use this thread to talk bad about management, production and engineering/R&D.

    Ill start....of course after working my ass for minutes...maybe hours I have a customer who is begging for a product to solve a problem they have. Now R&D cant finalize the thing to the required specs, even though they are modifying an existing product just slightly.

    Or how about the time you finally, again working for tens or even hundreds of minutes on this with the customer, get them to buy some of your crap over company B's crap. The only problem is they it quick. No worries mate. We got this. We are a lean six sigma experts. Agile. Customer focused, solution finding machine.
    So you promise them product in a few days and then production, they should be called 'amateur-duction', says they need 2 weeks. Why you rain on my parade? It dont matter that we dont currently make this and raw materials have a week plus lead time. Effing solutionize this bitch and ship some product. I did my job you do yours.

    Sheesh....sometimes they forget how hard we work. Am I right guys.

    Cmon all you sales pro's... @Dave K , @rob linders where my sales back up at??

    TLR67 likes this.
  2. R Acree

    R Acree WTF

    They need you. They don't have to like you.
    ChemGuy likes this.
  3. Jed

    Jed mellifluous

    5:30 and the sales guys are already drunk at the bar.
  4. Got this gem today leaving a sales meeting in Chattanooga on the way home

    Suzuka_joe and ChemGuy like this.
  5. ChemGuy

    ChemGuy Harden The F%@# Up!

    I need to add this as my email sig...
    beac83 likes this.
  6. Venom51

    Venom51 John Deere Equipment Expert

    Do you plan to change it before you head to the next meeting? Have you contacted your tire sales rep to see if he'll stand behind his promises to you? :D
    5axis, Rico888 and TurboBlew like this.
  7. rd49

    rd49 Well-Known Member

    Why are you selling custom solutions instead of standard offerings, you sales weasel. :D
  8. they are run flats he said so I’m good til winter
  9. baconologist

    baconologist Well-Known Member

    Salesmen are from Venus, Engineers are from Mars
    Phl218 likes this.
  10. rob linders

    rob linders Well-Known Member

    LOL, run flats don't last for hours and hours going down the freeway at 80MPH, while you are getting windshield time.
    Ducti89 likes this.
  11. CB186

    CB186 go f@ck yourself

    Wait, you promised product, that you don't currently make, in an unreasonable timeframe? Yup, you're a SalesMonkey!
    Don't worry, Mechanical Engineers that have never wrenched are far behind you on the shit list. :Poke:
    beac83, Rebel635, 5axis and 2 others like this.
  12. ChemGuy

    ChemGuy Harden The F%@# Up!

    At least I SOLD come up with

    And yes the first question on the ap for engineering school should be about carbs or how to put a bicycle chain back on or something. If you cant answer those then your restricted to Civil E...since they eff everything up anyway.
    baconologist likes this.
  13. Phl218

    Phl218 Lemme ask my wife

    Sales guys who were in R&D before are not allowed in this thread
  14. ChemGuy

    ChemGuy Harden The F%@# Up!


    Phl218 likes this.
  15. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    Engineers are idiots who waste time trying to justify their jobs until they can get their free on. :D
  16. TurboBlew

    TurboBlew Registers Abusers

    those are awesome tires! No more messing with summer or winter or seasonal air changes!
  17. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    and as much disdain as I have for engineers I hate Sales more. Sales will whore out their grand ma for 20 points. :D

    But the worst, the absolute WORST is marketing. These people, no, not even people. Chuds. They are leaches on a sales leach sucking blood out of the penis of a dying donkey. :crackup:

    As for stories, how much time you have to listen to me rant? :D
    Rebel635, dantheman and Phl218 like this.
  18. ChemGuy

    ChemGuy Harden The F%@# Up!

    Killing marketing people should be regarded more like killing ants, or mosquitos
    Phl218 likes this.
  19. TurboBlew

    TurboBlew Registers Abusers

    are extreme good looks still a prerequisite for a marketing diploma these days?? :D
    rob linders likes this.
  20. -Eric-

    -Eric- Well-Known Member

    GixxerJohn011, Chris and Phl218 like this.

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