PSA: Colonoscopy

Had mine done in March, and I'm good for 10 years. A buddy of mine, who is 8 years younger, is alive today because he decided to have his at age 40. After they found the cancer and removed it, he has to have a Colonoscopy done twice a year. :up:

 

Dude!

 

just do it

had my first one @ 63 . they took out two polyps ( benign) . did an endoscopy at the same time . after 40 years of paying premiums through the nose for high deductible insurance that never paid for anything nor covered me for any track related activities this new policy from the AHCA actually took care of the colonoscopy and most of the endoscopy. these procedures are about 5 grand. ( I was good there too from another motorcycle related injury 25 yrs ago) . yeah that jackson juice knocks you out so quick you don't have time to blink. no dreams or nothing. one second you're thinking "when are they going to start" and the next it's "wake up mr. burns " . I sent darethea in for the same procedure. AND THIS IS WHY! when i was sitting up with my sister on her deathbed back in April I saw too dang many men about my age rolling and limping around with colostomy bags sticking out of their sides . you don't have to be old to get colon cancer. I have 3 neighbors that are packing those bags around on themselves as I speak err write. a simple screening could have prevented it. joke ass about it all you want but this is serious stuff. don't put it off . I think you're suppose to start getting screened @ about 50 . well that's my rant for today , barnacle bill and darethea

 

Ok serious but funny questions.

Is it true that right after you shit your brains out?

What are signs/symptoms of
Colon cancer? I'm 31 and my grandfather had it.

I'll be honest, I'm very very uptight at thinking about this...

 

They have lube.

 

Nope, you turn your butt into a fire hydrant BEFORE. They want things squeaky clean. You fart like a bastard after. They won't let you leave until you let a big one rip!

 

No, you'll shit your brains out about an hour after you start drinking the prep fluid.
After that, it'll be about a day+ before you shit again.

Once they pump you full of drugs, you won't feel a thing. I think the knockout is because most people are pretty anxious about someone, even a doc, playing with their butt. [not so much of a problem here ] I did mine (after a 45 minute negotiation with the doc) with an absolute minimum of anesthetic, and I could have done it without any. I did feel a bit of a pinch when they took out the polyps, but accidentally pinching my finger with a pair of pliers hurts 100x more.

They put CO2 in if necessary to make it possible to see everything, and you may fart a bit afterward. (I just slowly crop dusted the recovery room) It won't smell bad because you are clean as a whistle inside.

Check Google for symptoms. If you think you have any, talk with your doc and get checked.

 

Signs/symptoms of colon cancer:

You: I havent felt well this week.

Doctor: You have stage 3 colon cancer. I'm sorry.

 

this procedure is the bane of my existence right behind the act of feltching

 

I don't think there is enough lube readily available to make me feel better about it.

How big around is this device?

 

If ever a post was chock full of TMI, this right here is it. :wow:

Fizzer, glad your shitter is str8. :up:

 

My dad has one every 6 months. After the 3rd time around, the nurse told him that Apple Juice is much easier on you than Gatorade.

They want you to replace the electrolytes in your system since you will losing them in machine gun fashion.

 

About the size of your little pinky. About 0.4-0.6" in diameter

The prostate exam you get once a year from your doc is worse.

 

I'd say it's more garden hose like...

 

How do you know? You were out cold! I at least was awake.

 

He's talking about how everything came out to make room for what went in. :up:

 

beac, I'd think any polyps you had would be kinds, you know, smoothed over...

 

Damn...

 

High five.

 

You mean, like a French tickler?