Open or Poly relationships - why aren't there more?

Discussion in 'The Dungeon' started by beac83, Dec 23, 2018.

  1. In Your Corner

    In Your Corner It's a little-known fact...

    It's simpler but more insidious than that.
    The family unit is the enemy of socialism.
    Phl218 likes this.
  2. CausticYarn

    CausticYarn Cut the rope

    Disease. People are gross.
    Gino230 likes this.
  3. ryoung57

    ryoung57 Off his meds

    That too. It goes back to control. Lots of things that are "moral" are actually designed with public health in mind. Most of the biblical dietary guidelines were set to keep people from getting sick.
  4. younglion

    younglion Well-Known Member

    I respectfully disagree, Kinda... SOME people are indeed gross. :)

    Couples who open their marriage up, Lifestyle/Swingers, Poly, etc... are typically much more focused on avoiding or spreading disease. They get tested MUCH more, are more stringent on taking all the precautions you can, and are way more inclined to remove themselves from dangerous situations with questionable people.

    Analogy - A Professional airline pilot versus a drunk 20-something joyrider on a jetski - the Pilot operates many more machines but takes every precaution, checks over everything methodically, and never chances it if there's any doubt. The drunk jetski pilot jumps on and could give two shits how mechanically sound the machine is - no systems check, no walk through, no pre-ride checklist, etc...

    It's a respect thing amongst two people who understand it's all built on trust - they aren't going to be risking their health and partners health by playing things like they were at Studio 54 in the 70's...
  5. jrsamples

    jrsamples Banned

    I think the problems documented on the beeb clearly show that there was an agreement made on day one for total exclusivity. Then, one party broke the agreement mostly without giving notice. I don't think that it is the belief in absolute fidelity, but it is the agreement which creates the reasonable expectation. Some of the honest people either give notice beforehand or ask for a modification. Let's face it, few can be honest, for a variety of reasons. I'd say that most straightish couples that swing are operating on a modification to their orginal agreement.
  6. In Your Corner

    In Your Corner It's a little-known fact...

    You can make a lot of things work in the short term that won't stand the test of time.
  7. CausticYarn

    CausticYarn Cut the rope

    Eh. I know a couple that has poly parties. They have been married over 20 years.
    He's on trial for violently raping someone - and she is still sticking by her husband without question.

    A second poly couple I know involves a hetero male and a lesbian - married to each other for a decade.

    Some people are cut out for it, some aren't.

    I am not. I get extremely emotionally attached to people I am intimate with and just could not manage more than one partner at a time - or controlling the jealousy that would be involved with my partner being intimate with someone else. I thought at one point that I would be okay with it - but as I grew older it started making less sense. It's a waving red flag to me if that is pushed as an option.
  8. younglion

    younglion Well-Known Member

    There's no chance I would consider a poly or open relationship either - not for me... I've been with my wife since we were both 16, married at 25, and about to celebrate our 20th anniversary this coming summer. We are both quite open minded, we've shared some cool, sexy experiences over the years but the key word there is shared.
  9. SpeedyE

    SpeedyE Experimental prototype, never meant for production

    Bizarre incident, almost 20 years ago. Local Race weekend. Local racers invade a large busy nightclub. We all partying hard.
    Me and local racer/friend go to bartender to get drinks, come back and both our wives are dancing with two other local racers (who were good friends of both/all of us).

    Me: I could careless, my wife dancing and having fun.
    Him: Goes into rage, grabs pedrosa sized guy by the neck, a melee insues. Guy was angry at other racer for dancing w/ his wife.

    Here's what I never understood.
    Me/(ex)wife not swingers/cheaters. Dancing was a non issue.
    Dude who went ballistic, he and wife were notorious swingers. I never understood how you could be a swinger, but get mad about dancing. All people involved were all good people, all good friends. It was completely out of character for the anger.....never seen it before/after, truly a great cool guy.
    Some beeb swinger, please explain this to me.

    and, locals in the know, who was need to name names on this. That would be low-class BS. TY
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2018
  10. SPL170db

    SPL170db Trackday winner

    TurboBlew, Rebel635 and SpeedyE like this.
  11. eggfooyoung

    eggfooyoung You no eat more!

    Swinging is a great idea!
    Oh, some dude will be railing my wife?
    I'm out.
    Prospect, R1Racer99 and SpeedyE like this.
  12. SPL170db

    SPL170db Trackday winner

    Well, the reality of it is that most even average women will have a FAR easier time finding a whole smorgasbord of thirsty dudes lining up to bang them whereas your typical Joe Schmoe is going to have far fewer options available to him should he decide he wants to go along with "opening up the relationship".

    So unless she's only limiting herself to top tier guys and he's taking anything and everything that gives him a shot, then the numbers are generally going to be skewed.
  13. ryoung57

    ryoung57 Off his meds

    Wouldn't he likely be one of the thirsty dudes lined up to bang some other chick?
  14. SPL170db

    SPL170db Trackday winner

    Just because they are all lined up doesn't mean they're all getting a shot.
  15. ryoung57

    ryoung57 Off his meds

    I always took these kinds of things (not that I have any experience) as sort of an agreement that everybody involved gets a shot. I know a few people that I'm pretty certain are into that lifestyle, and none of them are what I'd call attractive.
  16. In Your Corner

    In Your Corner It's a little-known fact...

    Are you saying that swinger parties are not loaded with people who won the genetic lottery like you see in the movies?
    Rebel635 likes this.
  17. Rebel635

    Rebel635 Well-Known Member

    I’m online dating and see a lot of it.

    Honestly maybe I’m wrong but I’d wager it’s one person who wants to have sec with other people and the other persons too afraid to loose them so they go along with it.

    Tons of low self astern people out there.....

    Imagine a beta cuck millennial guy...he’d have so much self loathing for not being “with the times” when his hot gf wants to bang some alpha male dudes on the side.
  18. ryoung57

    ryoung57 Off his meds

    I’ve seen that too.
  19. galloway840

    galloway840 Well-Known Member

    Buncha damn degenerates. I can't believe I read this far! Stick to your partner like god intended.

    Prospect likes this.
  20. ryoung57

    ryoung57 Off his meds

    I guess we know who's SO reads the beeb.....

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