Nightmare employee

It was awesome. Every day for those two weeks the guys in maint would see these two working and bust out laughing. Finally I told the one guy he could go let those two in on the joke.

Good thing they "only" did a concrete driveway with it.

 

Told a manager that I could not work over the weekend as I had drill with the National Guard. Proceeds to tell me how she protested the Vietnam War, that soldiers kill babies and what not. Of course this was in the office and she raised her voice so everybody could hear. I responded "Those were difficult times for everybody" and walked away. Of course I had to work with her the next few weeks.

Lots of little shyte in between but the next big moment came in a McDonalds in the Bronx where she began to chastise me for using "girl" to speak of a female friend of mine. Apparently that's degrading as once you have your period you are a woman - her words, spoken loudly in McDonalds.

I disagreed and she then went on a tyrade of my typical white male arrogance. In McDonalds. In the Bronx. Yes, I was the only white person in there.

 

Two guys in their late 50's early 60's that work for me had to have a talking to for not getting their work completed on time and for coming in late and leaving early to make up for it. These guys are supposed to be setting examples for the younger group but they are anything but.

 

What type of circus to you run or work at?

 

That was over a few jobs.

and I got tons more but my head started to hurt thinking about it all.

 

So this one goes back to the Oil Rig yards in Scotland where I served my apprenticeship as a welder/fitter.

Foreman asked this guy to cut this 20ft chain in half. Now this is a big chain - each link about 4 inches long and 1" thick. Expensive shit.

Foreman checks back on this guy about an hour later. Sure the chain was cut in half... right down the middle and through every single link.

The guy didn't get fired - union stood up for him. Theoretically the chain was cut in half (albeit not the way the foreman intended...)

 

Last one for now. A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away one of my part times jobs was mowing and basic maint of a cemetery. We watched texas chainsaw a few nights before and the one guy decided to hold the weedwacker over his head and hold it at full throttle like leather face. Problem was the gas cap wasn't tight, it dumped fuel all over him and when he looked up to see where the "rain" was coming from, he got a throat full of pre mix. Luckily it didn't ignite although he smelled like gas for weeks after (ended up having to shave his head and entire body to get the fuel smell gone).

Another guy who worked there decided to run through the field holding a long metal whip antena during a lightning storm. He didn't get exploded but he did gett fired a few days later.

 

We use to have a Tow and car transport company along with our bodyshop. I have numerous stories on drivers and messed up cars but we had one guy headed to Miami one morning and somehow never made it for 2 days! When he finally calls us he said he woke up in a sugar field and the only thing he remembers is driving down US27 and a bright light appearing over him. Swears it was aliens.

 

And Scuba Steve jumps right into the competition.

 

-Practicing witch/drug dealer
-Thief who's alibi for steeling was "while sleeping with my wife she told him he could have the money"
-300 lb/ 4ft. -9inch tall dude that "didn't eat birthday cake"
-dude with 10 kids from 8 knife wielding bitches
-the Bulgarian who didn't know how to hitch up a trailer properly
-internet porn addict
-trophy generation employee who knew everything but didn't.
-dude that called himself THE STALLION that boned soldiers wives when they were overseas.
-stressed out receptionist that answered phone.
-dude that practiced with his hunting bow in shop area without telling anyone.
-Latino fellow with company car and "drinking" problem
-dude with cell phone bill and my Amex card.


These are from memory at lunch. I can pull some employee files when I get back to the office for many more.

 

I'm not sure how big your outfit was at the time, but if you had onsite security. That's the epitome of examples of when a fired employee should be immediately escorted off of the company property and barred from returning. His personal belongings can be packed up by security and shipped to him.

 

But then he wouldn't have made the list

 

When you said you had the best stories, my expectations were set very high. I'm thinking you're not stomping anyone in the ground with that lame post.

 

We got sued by an employee over age discrimination saying she was too old. 3 of the 4 managers over her were OLDER. She lost.

 

I usually handle it. Judge, jury and executioner I guess. He just had anger management issues, I doubt he would have gone further. Other than that, he was an ok employee, but I see your point and in retrospect, completely agree. I guess I just pityied the guy. From now on, you can bet I will have their shit shipped to them.

 

Worked at a car dealership right after grad school. This one dude was delivering a customer's car back after service, goes to buy crack in that car down in DC while on the clock, gets caught in an undercover drug sting, goes to jail, car gets impounded as use for police evidence in the case... service writer has to call his customer and explain why they can no longer get their car back.

They let this deaf dude be a lot attendant for a while. He was super nice, but i found it kinda odd you could be deaf and drive cars around in such a congested, tight, and busy area without being able to hear. He crashed about 4 cars. The last straw was the one he backed up a hill, into a light post, that then fell over onto another employees car and 2 new cars at the same time. I felt kinda bad for him, but geezus.

Worked at a hospital in the hood before grad school. Most of the BS positions there were union jobs. One time saw a dude get caught smoking weed in a company car while on the clock, union somehow saved him his job.

Another time, a lady from our office got in an argument with the cleaning lady, punched her in the face, was fired... 2 weeks later, union somehow saves her job, AND they pay her back pay for the 2 weeks she missed. So for punching somebody in the face on the job, she got a 2 week paid vacation.

This other fat lady with Beetus shit herself twice in the office, cleaned herself up and threw away her shit panties, and continued the rest of the work day as if nothing happened. TWICE.

 

My wife studied this incident while getting her Masters in Human Factors and Systems Engineering (yes, she is the brains between us, and the looks). The majority of the casualties on the 737 were due to an exit door that would not open due to frame damage, which caused a pile up at that door and asphyxiation of those passengers. Those in the metroliner died upon impact.

Very sad.

 

If its not against the rules... post the video of the "oil spill"

 

I spent years sitting in arbitration hearings for a Fortune 500 company. I have more gems than I could possibly share. Unfortunately, I can't legally post one's that I worked on. Some other real gems that I'm aware of though:

-A first line supervisor not showing up to work for several days and never calling in. Finally someone went to his house to check up on him, and found him in his closet smoking crack.

-An employee who worked by herself at remote field locations. Who was discovered to simply not be actually going to those locations and working. Turned out she owned a small chain of hair and nail salons and would show up to work some days, send a few random emails to appear busy. Than leave to manage her business empire. Upon audit, it was also discovered she had been billing significant overtime most days as well, over 100k. Upon further audits though, it was found neither her supervisor or the manager of the department were doing their jobs of auditing overtime or checking up on their staff and their projects.... was quite the mess.

-A field technician who was an absolute genius at avoiding work and setting the company up for law suits, played the race card like no other. He was told to go home on company time, and proceeded to drive four or five states away to his child hood home and called in that he arrived. He once was upset that he couldn't have overtime one evening, so he pulled off the side of the highway and waited for hours with his hazard lights on. When a police officer finally investigated, he claimed to have amnesia and didn't know who he was or where he was going. He had actually been terminated multiple times, and successfully sued with the settlements always including back pay and reinstatement.

-A supply chain driver who would load a stake truck up with scrap metal from one job site, and arrive at the company disposal site with half the load missing.

-A temp employee working on the demolition of an old building, who tried walking through security while struggling to hold onto about 100 pounds of scrap brass in his coat. He thought it was copper.

-A supervisor with a highly unique skill set failed a random drug test. He insisted that it was a contact buzz from a concert he attended the previous night. Rather than risk losing his skill set, HR asked him if he'd take a demotion to field tech with the failed drug test being stricken from his record. He immediately accepted their offer. Than the immediately applied for the vacancy he created, and was the only applicant deemed qualified. HR balked and it went to arbitration where it was pretty clear they put no limits on their agreement about erasing the record of his failed drug test. He regained the position, along with his bonus.

-This one's a bit sad, medically related, but unbelievably shocking. A long term employee, engineer, who was fairly competent at his job but taking a plethora of psychiatric medications. As people with mental health issues regularly do, he decided he was healed and didn't need them anymore. Not long later, a handful of detectives showed up to investigate a rape on the company premises. He than proceeded to tell the detectives, how he was being shot with tranquilizing ice darts from his coworkers. Who would than, drive an hour away and rape his family, drive an hour back, and mock him as he woke up 20 minutes later from being initially shot with the magic tranquilizing ice darts. Than the stories became worse and worse and even more impossibly insane... with the police even apologizing for legally having to investigate them to some extent. He went to a mental health facility and was than offered a full retirement package.

-Another employee went off their meds, stripped naked, started barking like a dog and running around in public. Than hopped in a company vehicle and kept hitting the horn. It finally took the police and fire department to get into the car and get him out.

 

In other words : WINNING !

We had an employee that was barking at others too. They disciplinary meeting was quite the scene when I had to ask : "Why do you bark at whatshername ?" Her answer : "It's because she's a dog !"