Making America Great

I was on the receiving end a couple of times...."Thank you sir, may I have another?"

 

It’s more than “just the number of parents”. Parents that stick together tend to do so because they’re better people, more solidly grounded, more stable, etc. In general, they’re more likely to have things figured out and as a result, tend to be able to put more focus on raising their kids.

 

Uh, yeah. Aren't you divorced?

 

I don’t have kids. But if it weren’t for my stableness, grounding, and so on, the marriage never would have lasted as long as it did.

 

Guess it's a good thing you didn't have kids then. I can't imagine the disaster they'd be because you divorced...

 

What are you getting at? Is this something related to your aversion to marriage?

Personal bias aside, there is no mistaking the statistics. Children from a stable home with two parents tend to do better. It’s not necessarily the fact that there are two parents, but more the other factors in place that tend to result in there being two parents (better values, more financial stability, and so on).

My ex has a daughter and I tried to raise her right. I have no problem saying we fucked up. That kid is a disaster because there was no common ground, no consistency during her upbringing. I wanted to be a parent, her mother wanted to be a friend. It resulted in one side constantly being played against the other, was a constant source of friction, and ultimately was a factor in the split.

 

Say what you want, but I’m actually a really boring, logical, normal guy. I come on here to vent and you fools give me shit, but in real life I’m sort of a mix of Ned Flanders and Red Forman.

 

What I'm getting at is your blanket statement of two-parent households being the panacea to healthy, well-adjusted children. In one fell swoop, you painted all divorced parents are pieces of irresponsible, unstable, child neglecting shit.

Wanna show me the stats of children from stable homes broken down into single parent/two parent households? I'll wait.

So would that be the "unstable, two parent household"?

I was a good father to my children before I married.

I've been a good father to my children while married.

I'll be a good father to my children post-marriage.

It's got fuck-all to do with the ring and the paper, and everything to do with taking a break from the narcissism and selfishness and putting the needs of your children first.

 

not sure about the "better" people metric. I have friends that never made excuses about being a "single" parents mostly because the partner just came unraveled or changed their mind about parenting. Just because they dont hang around the "birth" mother or father doesnt make them bad by any stretch. How many "good" parent sets sent their kids to church?
Yeah Im still wondering why there isnt an intense parenting course? Something that maybe occupies a weekend or some kinda boot camp...lol.
You cant even adopt a rescue dog or cat these days without a full background check and multiple home visits.

 

It’s just a catchall word to sum up the point.

 

How do you manage to get around with that massive chip on your shoulder? I didn’t paint anyone. I made a statement congruent with the statistics. Children from two parent homes tend to do better on average, and it’s reasonable to think that that has to do with the environment they’re raised in. Most divorces are a result of financial problems or individual failings of weak, immoral, selfish, people. Those people tend to not be very good parents. Most marriages that last tend to be comprised of people who do not suffer those failings, so it’s reasonable to assume they’d be better parents.

But again, these are averages and generalizations. There are always exceptions. My mother is one, I feel like I am one, and you seem to be as well. Our exceptions don’t change the numbers though.

 

I swap it from one shoulder to the other from time to time, and I never skip leg day

there's the issue...

Anecdotal at best. With the majority of marriages ending in divorce and the out of wedlock birth rate, it's a wonder we don't have lawless kids running through the streets creating havoc and mayhem.

Was yours financial, weak, immoral or selfish?

Don't answer. You continue to use "think" and "assume" like your opinion and/or experience defines the issue. And not to pull rank on you, but you're not even a biological parent.

Here's a question: where was your stepdaughter's bio-dad while your ex-wife was being such a horrid parent?

Garbage in, garbage out.

 

Well from the school system here in town, its not the teachers that are the problem, its the administration and school board. Explain to me why each of our two high schools (9-12) NEED 4 asst principals (ave $100K/yr) and each has 2 secretaries (around 12 in the office total) compared to when I went to high school (10-12th then), there was just 1 principal and 1 vice principal and 5-6 secretaries for the whole damn office? Why is it when they decide they "need" a new school building they have to build the most elaborate exterior they can come up with? Or why does a middle school "need" a million dollar Olympic style pool?

When our district decided to put 9th graders in high school, over crowding was terrible. They were trying to force kids to double and triple up on lockers. They moved 6th grade into the junior highs (now called middle schools) leaving k-5 in elementary. Well the high schools are still crowded even with all the new additions they put on over the last 15 yrs. Should mention most of the new additions went into more office space, not classrooms. They built a new building to replace the aging Marshall Jr High and to put it in the east side so it was closer to the majority of the students homes. Well instead of just building a basic school building, the went all art deco (this is the one they put a million dollar Olympic pool in even though the public vote said no pool) on the exterior and interior. School board on their own had the pool put in mid contruction. People were PISSED. Year later they had a new elementary school built on the north east side that had no opening windows in the classroom and no a/c. 2 yrs later they were having a/c put in. School board doesn't think one bit other than how can we spend money. We are again hearing about over crowding in the high schools again. Instead of the obvious low cost way to solve it which is put the 9th graders back in jr highs, 6th graders back in elemetaries, they want more additions. Middle school/jr highs here aren't overcrowded here, elementary is far from max capacity.

 

Some of you folks need to take a course in statistics. A stable 2 parent home is "statistically" better for the kids. Certainly not always but on the average, better. Could be due to a lot of reasons like having a father present, better incomes, setting of examples, etc. Anecdotal examples of the opposite prove nothing except that there are exceptions. The shape of the bell curve would be much more interesting.