ha ha, I'll bet to you being horny classifies as a "medical" condition in your book. Lisa, a little help here . OK, I don't want to get into a discussion about the grabbing and poking and prodding and what ever. Now I feel so bad about making fun of your condition. I'll pray that you are healthy for Saturday. Please accept my apologies.
I am not a vindictive, petty man. Your apology is accepted, but do not let this happen again. Making fun of your friends' health issues is not nice. Now that I think about about, one area will not require any checking. There will be no insertions of any kind. I may be coughing, but I ain't paralyzed yet. Ms. Penny might need medical attention if any illegal play is attempted.
Well, you better wait until you and Ms. Penny are done playing doctor before you make any assertions like that. Please update us on your health after your visit. I'm sure you've got everyone on the board worried about your health issues now.
Captain, here's your update! OK, I just got back home from the medical center. Here's the deal: apparently, Ms. Penny has decided that i have asthma again. Lemme 'splain: I had it as a kid. Or so I was told. Whatever it was, it sure was unpleasant. Anyway, a doctor ran some tests a few years ago and told i not only don't have it now, but he doubts I had it as a kid. Of course, he tested me at a time when I was healthy, but it didn't seem to bother him. Gotta love 'em. So back to Ms. Penny. Not quite what I hope for. Let's just say I was glad there was no requirement to undress. I was nervous enough sitting alone in that room, staring at the giant poster describing all those nice things about the prostate, including the digital rectal exam. Just what I want to see before the doctor comes in. Anyway, they hooked me up to some little puffing machine to make smoke some kind of medication that is just now begining to open my lungs. I felt like I was in a movie, puffing opium out of those things with multiple tubes, ya know? Anyway, 3 inhalers and 1 set of pills prescriptions later, I'm now taking a total of 6(!) different kinds of prescriptions related to my allergies/asthma issue. Gonna need to wake up 15 minutes early just to get to work on time!!! Ms. Penny was an interesting character. She refused to give me antibiotics, although I can feel the onset of bronchitis. Hey, I've only been dealing with my f*cked up body for 30 years, so what do I know. This stuff only happens to me once or twice a year, at the same time of the year, with the same symptoms. I could be wrong. I gotta give it to her, she made me laugh, though. Here's a sample: Me: "Do I have to all that, every day? Ms. Penny: "Yes" Me: "The stuff they prescribed last time too?" Ms. Penny: "yes" Me: "How long do I need to do this?" Ms. Penny: "Until weather gets stable. Probably through May. Don't worry about it: you won't get addicted to it. Most patients are worried about that. There won't be any withdrawal symptoms when you quit. It's not addictive. Nothing will happen to you when you stop. But if you don't start, you can die. Me: <speechless> I mean, shit, it's a good thing I didn't ask her to hit me with it, to just tell me like it, not to lie to me. I wonder what she would have said if she hadn't sugarcoated it a little. Damn. I thought I was direct. Well, the conclusion as it applies to racing at Putnam is, it's a good thing WERA doesn't require drug testing. Any fluids coming out of me will be radioactive for a while! Oh, shit, I totally forgot to ask about interactions with Smirnoff Ice. There's no way I'm letting minor problems like not being able to breathe ruin my fun after the race.
Re: Captain, here's your update! No need to ask, Beth isn't on any medication. Just bring the case to Putnam to pay up on your bet Mr. Woman Hater! Talk about a sucker bet. You were a sucker for making the bet and she was a sucker for not betting more!
