That’s possible, but i think she is also 1) not a dirt ball, and 2) believes me when i tell her that all we would do by fighting is force the sale of our current house, and both spend a LOT on arguing with each other, ending up with close to the same terms we’ve agreed upon. I also question whether we should really be getting divorced. We have a lot of conflicting traits that i acknowledge make marriage difficult, but i was willing to work through those and enjoy the good stuff. There was (is?) a lot of good stuff too. But she has made her choice, and like i said, the coke machine has been rocking for a long time. I will recover financially. Our kids will adjust. I am young enough and in shape enough that finding female companionship should be alright. So now i get my bigger yard, all the guns she objected to, hopefully motorcycles again, and am generally making fewer compromises than i have made for the last decade. The finances scare me a little, but i am in control. And that leaves no one to blame but myself. Which is liberating and terrifying, but ultimately what i want.
well my SIL's ex did that actual thing, so it could be a valid concern from the other party. He bought them phones and tracked where they were going and trying to facetime and what not when there was a restraining order, etc.
I've always felt that marrying someone you're not 100% sure of is safer than making a baby with someone you're not 100% sure of. I'd much rather fight someone over wages and property than the care of a child. The money fight ends eventually.
I just don’t understand why people fight. You went into this thing together. You should be able to dissolve it together. Our half-clones mean that we’ll always be connected. Their well-being is paramount to our happiness or feelings toward each other. If that’s the ONLY thing we agree upon, that’s enough.
i have this grey area thinking about all these divorces when it comes to age and life and future potential and shit. i mean that as in to say... when i read some of this thread, or see some of my friends get divorced in their late 20's/early 30's... i think, "why is this chick getting any of his money, they're both young, go out and get a damn job and move on you B." on the flip side of that, i look at my girl's aunt (who i posted about in this thread like 2 years ago and STILL isn't fully divorced yet), and i think, "this chick, didn't work for 30 years cause she didn't have to, she raised the kids though and did the super mom thing with all their activities and trips and shit... now she's like 60 with no job experience. who is gonna hire this lady for anything?" not to mention her property tax is like somebody's actual salary. i kinda feel like, she earned a payout from her husband at this point, and frankly, needs it to even survive. i dunno where that crossover exists for me in my brain or if i could pinpoint it, but i definitely feel a divide, like young people should just be able to call it quits and move apart... old people should maybe be entitled to something (unless it was the wife who caused the divorce but makes less money... that i don't have sympathy for). i dunno. its a weird thought though.
I am fortunate that my wife has always worked, and has done very well at her company. She could have gone after my IRA’s and i wouldn’t have been able to keep her from taking half. We took money out of savings and paid off her car instead. Compromise.
That sounds so familiar, and was the direct reason I ended a 10 year relationship that was going nowhere at all. I'm kind of glad marriage wasn't legal for us back then, because we would have been married, and it would have been a lot harder to untangle. Good luck with the soft landing.
My brother and his partner were opposed based on finances. My brother was more that a little haphazard in his dealings with the IRS. He said, if we get married, it would f@ck up both of our credit scores.
When I did that for David, I learned that the funeral industry has one hell of a lobby. They are the only ones in front of the IRS for the proceeds from the estate.
I messed up on that one. Since they wouldn't cremate him until the bill was paid, I fronted the cash for cremation. So now I'm behind the IRS for reimbursement.
In NC, the executor could get reimbursement. Might want to check a little further. NY may be different.