Divorce help - God Damn Epidemic

Cash in the retirement, get a loan on the house, go to vegas, “lose all”, bury the “last remaining dollar” in the desert to find it there in 20 years

 

I am truly sorry about this for you. If not for your being in a fault state, you would be totally screwed for 20 years. You'd be perpetually poor for 20 years in N.C. The thing about HER lawyer is that she can only be paid from YOU and your resources, in the end. Logic will seem to disappear with the other team once things get clicking because they need your money. You must get solid rep soon. Borrow the money from a friend. I've loaned money for that before in some cases because I could not stomach watching someone get hosed. The up front money is pretty big.

I don't know how it would work out, but try to get your rep to advise you on how to get her to settle out of court. Be willing to give a lot to get that done so that you have the fewest obligations in the future. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT YOUR FUTURE EARNINGS NOW. Again, IDK if that's even possible, but worth a try.

You just want her to be happy and free, right? The last thing you want to happen now (since you've checked out of the love -- you have right?) is for her and Chad to break up. Her love for Chad will help her to be stupid and make stupid choices. You must close your mind that there is any chance of saving this thing. Learn about red pill and why you lost your wife. It will help you to see and think clearly, but you're gonna be pissed. If you don't know what that is, pm me and I will point you in the right direction.

Good luck Plow Horse.

 

and who had the story with the shrimp and caviar in the curtain poles?

 

hahaha mannnn... the lengths people go. my girl's aunt would get texts randomly like, "come to bed, let's get in some snuggle time." and shit like that when clearly they haven't touched each other in like 2 years, all for him trying to show there's still affection in the marriage or put doubt that they're actually separated. she'd have to take pics and document all this shit and respond like, "i'm downstairs, you're in the spare bedroom right now as we speak, we haven't slept in the same bed or touched each other since X date, go to sleep." haha. this all sounds so mentally taxing i get tired thinking about it.

 

Family court system = kangaroo court system

 

[QUOTE="jrsamples, post: 5391884, member: 30249"Her love for Chad will help her to be stupid and make stupid choices.[/QUOTE]

Chad. Lololololol... hey you have to laugh, otherwise you'd cry. Keep your chin up.

 

I do, I love her that much that even with out me I want her to be happy.

I care nothing of this, if she is happy great, I dont care how. Ive loved her since I was 12 years old. We are a week shy of 10 years of marriage, Im 36, she is 34.

I know things are over, I wanted to save them soo badly, I tried soo hard. Its taken some time, but I thing now, I deserve better than how Im being treated, I have given everything to her and the family, I make the $, I cook all the food, I clean, I moved away from friends, given up my hobbies, the MC in the garage has had hundreds of miles in the last 5 years vs the 12K plus per year it had previously. I need direction, i dont know what to ask. Im in no mans land. I thought things were good, and getting better. Talk about getting knocked off a pedestal.

 

Consult with a lawyer. To pay the lawyer tap into your pension via a hardship request. Your pension should have provisions to allow for this. Trying to represent yourself through this situation could cost you dearly especially with the young kids.

My decisions during my ordeal ( I’ve been separated for 2 years and counting) have been to think in the best interest of the children. My kids have been my guide as to how to conduct myself during these tying times.

Good Luck!

 

Life is just beginning for you. Sounds like it was a one way relationship. If she’s happy, great. Now it’s time for you to be happy too.

 

If you don't mind me asking....assuming you are telling the truth here....what the hell exactly was she providing to the marriage other than carrying your kids?

It sounds like things were indeed good....for her and the only pedestal here is the one you placed her up upon and did all her bidding. Not a good recipe for long term relationship success, in all likelihood that's probably part of the reason she cheated on you. A woman needs to feel as though you are at least her equal if not superior to her. The second she starts to feel you are subordinate to her, her eyes are going to start looking elsewhere. If you were bringing in all (or damn near all) of the income you should have been putting your foot down and making her hold up her end of the marital bargain at home.

Sorry, I don't mean to sound dickish....I'm just wanting you to learn from mistakes here so you don't repeat them down the road.

 

Sux dude. Hang in there.

 

And yet, with the plethora of threads/stories/dituations just like this thread... we still have people getting married every day.

Yeah, I see the typo above... I like it, though, given the subject matter.

 

Always good to read these threads. They are good reminders. The woman I'm seeing right now has brought up marriage a few times. I'm going to stick with "Nope".

 

i notice our favorite fort shitter has managed to stay out of this one.

 

What kinda bike we talking about?

Anyways, good luck - sounds like a fucked up and uneven power dynamic so probably for the best that it’s ending.

 

Best advice here.

You're bleeding money no matter what you do

 

They always come back

 

Document EVERYTHING!!!!!

Do NOT even bump into her in the hallway.

Do NOT leave the house. Or be accused of abandonment

Alimony vs child support. She pays the taxes on alimony. You pay on child support.

Don’t worry. You’re feelings will fade fast. Hers apparently did already.

LAWYER Up Buttercup!!!!

Get everything in your agreement. Every shitty detail. Who pays for what with the kids. Insurances on cars and other properties. Health insurances. College tuition. When the kids start driving who’s paying? Holiday schedules with the kids. However minuscule get it on that paper.

Hold her accountable to every damned last word.

I have a pdf copy of mine on my phone. When she tries to get shitty with me. I quote her chapter and verse. I call it my owners manual

 

What he said.

I will tell you this, you have no idea just how common your exact situation is. It is very....disheartening because it is such a frickin broken record and ain't nobody can fix this for you. You are feeling a pain in your gut that won't go away. Your life, once optimistic, doesn't seem to have a point to it anymore. In that regard, YOU are fortunate to have your kids, because there's nothing that you won't do for them, to protect them, and see that they are cared for. You are fortunate because that responsibility will help you to focus your attention and keep your eye on the ball and off the trigger. Those two are going to need you more than you can ever know. And how you handle that responsibility is very important for them and for your own sanity. The numbers prove that if you are not there to guide them, then their future really sucks. Chad is not going to give two shits about them.

You have to first accept that the Disney marriage fantasy is just a fantasy ingrained in the DNA to ensure the continuance of humanity. It is not real, so this idea of first love, etc. is a creation in your mind. When one realizes this, I have to admit, life's shine is a little more dull. Actually, I wish it were true. The best place that you can get in a relationship is to understand your role and manage your relationship in such a way as to keep it together. You have to purposefully do the right things to make this happen.

You are looking for answers, and there are answers out there for sure. But, you are going to have to keep an open mind because the bull shit that you have been sold for so long is difficult to get out of your system. It is truly a lot of information to take in, I cannot stress that enough. Once you understand, things will become clear to you where YOU screwed up. I can tell you that it helps to find out the "why" but it doesn't really solve any problems.

But, the first thing that you have to do is to protect yourself and your relationship with your children. That is your goal. You really need to let go of the concern for her, what she needs, how she feels, etc. She can take care of herself and she will be fine. You can learn about the "why" as you go, but you really need to think about your group of 3 from now own.

Bro, you are 36. There is tons of grip still left on your tires. You still have great opportunities.