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Divorce help - God Damn Epidemic

Discussion in 'General' started by zx6rfool, Sep 14, 2018.

  1. zx6rfool

    zx6rfool Stacks Wood

    Just got her on audio admitting to the affair, hopefully that and her phone records, councilor testimony, family testimony will be enough to avoid the Va 1 yr separation, and just get this done with. Should I get a lawyer before filing? I really cant afford a lawyer, we are paycheck to paycheck now, and I make 90-95% of the income. We both want the house. I dont want her to get my retirement (Gov) I dont care for any of hers. We would lose money selling due to agent fees. Kids are amicable, as they love us both and I wouldnt take their mother from them, she is a great mother when she is around. is $250/hr really going divorce lawyer rates? Fak I might have to end up filing for bankruptcy. We have the mortgage, a car payment, and a HVAC payment.
     
  2. Sweatypants

    Sweatypants I am so smart! S-M-R-T... I mean S-M-A-R-T!

    yea man... i think she's gonna walk with like no money, and like a dozen or more commercial and residential rental properties. so now a chick who hasn't had a real job or ever had to live by a budget in like 35 years, is going to have to become a property manager. she already wants to kick a business tenant out of this one place cause she just doesn't like the lady and its like a personal slight. i dunno why she doesn't understand that rent money is rent money. taxes on their DC house are as much as some people's salaries for the year. so they'll probably have to get rid of that. i feel like... at 60 years old, dude is out of the country half the year anyways... he probably literally would have like, bought her a townhouse in another city and she would have never had to see him, AND paid her like $10k a month or something, JUST to not actually divorce him. she was hell bent on severing the cord though i guess. doesn't even want alimony because then "he still has control over her" and won't even listen to reason that its the court that would be paying her, not him.

    you can lead a horse to water and all that i guess...

    he's just a super duper type A, typical shrewd and successful businessman. he's doing exactly what i'd expect somebody like that to do. bad/dysfunctional husband or not, i expect it. likewise, i expect a kept woman on the complete opposite part of the spectrum, to also be stupid and emotionally erratic with regards to monetary decisions. sadly, they're both playing out exactly as you would think. i am not, and would never be in a place to ever voice my opinion to them or anyone else in their family but my girl in private... but that's my outsider's observation anyways. we both thought she should just stay married and spend his money, which he's been totally fine with since they were 25 years old. couldn't get passed it in her own brain i guess to let that go...
     
  3. worthless

    worthless Well-Known Member

    Get a lawyer and quit talking about what you have and don't have (like recordings).
    She will get a lawyer. You should, too.
    Maybe I'm way off base here, but, if you make 90-95% of the income, you're going to be paying her support. If you're paycheck to paycheck now, it's going to be worse afterwards. Plan on selling the house. You may not want her to get any of your retirement, but, she will.
     
    5axis likes this.
  4. Yzasserina

    Yzasserina sound it out

    :stupid: Hardship loan from your retirement? Borrow from family? You need an attorney, and the court/filing fees are eye-popping.
     
  5. Sweatypants

    Sweatypants I am so smart! S-M-R-T... I mean S-M-A-R-T!

    i don't mean to have a chuckle in your troubling times man, but like... wtf? o_O:confused: she knows that houses cost money right?

    [​IMG]
     
    marcel.bisschop likes this.
  6. worthless

    worthless Well-Known Member

    But worth it (someone had to say it) :D
     
  7. Yzasserina

    Yzasserina sound it out

    Seriously what an effing racket. You should be able to act pro se in these matters, if you have a somewhat legal mind and are inclined to do it. Cough up the damn forms and spell out the process.
     
  8. brex

    brex Well-Known Member

    She has already talked to an attorney. You need to as well.
     
    StaccatoFan and BHP41 like this.
  9. R Acree

    R Acree Banned

    You can count on her already having a plan in place. You are already playing catch up. ATTORNEY.
     
    5axis and BHP41 like this.
  10. Potts N Pans

    Potts N Pans Well-Known Member

    She knows the house cost is his money...which is her money now and of course later.
     
  11. BHP41

    BHP41 Calling out B.A.N. everyday

    These threads always suck. Sorry to see another one.

    That said, this seems like it’s going to be a fight and there is only one rule in fighting. Win. There is no such thing as dirty fighting. You either win or you don’t. Get a GOOD lawyer. GL.
     
  12. In Your Corner

    In Your Corner Dungeonesque Crab AI Version

    Don't be afraid to spend money on a lawyer, you're going to end up broke anyway.
    If she gave the slightest shit about your finances she wouldn't be blowing up the entire family's life because she's unhappy.
     
    tony 340 likes this.
  13. Sweatypants

    Sweatypants I am so smart! S-M-R-T... I mean S-M-A-R-T!

    my old director's wife thought the same thing after he gave her a perfectly good 3 year old Sonata all paid off with extended warranty and free oil changes. bitch traded in his "freebie" for an X5... repo men came lookin' for it yesterday. she can like his money all she wants, but she won't get all of it, and eventually she'll have to pay for something she can't afford... and that's how you become middle class homeless.
     
  14. 88/532

    88/532 Simply Antagonistical

    Stop pissing around here and get an attorney started on this...now. Don’t try and save it, just get it finished ASAP. Stop talking to her unless it’s about your children...even then choose your words wisely. The quicker you get this done, the quicker you get on with your life. Btw, don’t listen to your Johnson when she comes back around, most will at some point.
     
    Razr, Phl218 and speedluvn like this.
  15. speedluvn

    speedluvn Man card Issuer

    I’m pissed! That action has cost me an additional few months added to my separation cause it begins the separation clock with each sex act! So that means additional attorney fees. At this point, I’m ready to be rid of my female attorney (she sure is purdy) as well as the soon to be ex-wife.

    I’m in MD.
     
  16. In Your Corner

    In Your Corner Dungeonesque Crab AI Version

    Especially when the boyfriend splits because he isn't interested in a woman that's available and reality sets in.
     
    tony 340 and kangasj like this.
  17. Potts N Pans

    Potts N Pans Well-Known Member

    But she is the stay at home mom (I guessing by the 90% income comment). His retirement and other income will fund her down the road unless a miracle happens.

    This sucks, but pay up now so you are not paying for the rest of your life.
     
    Sweatypants likes this.
  18. Potts N Pans

    Potts N Pans Well-Known Member

    You mean when she shows up with the kids in tow...who doesn't love an instant family! :eek:
     
    kangasj likes this.
  19. Scotty87

    Scotty87 Lacks accountability

    Feel for you man. Never easy.

    I’ll only say this: the whole sell shit for a dollar thing does not work and will bite you in the ass. It’s ‘acting In bad faith’ and there are penalties. Also, you may not be legally allowed to declare bankruptcy, especially if one of you has started the legal separation process. This may not be the case in your area, but it is where I live.
     
    BrentA likes this.
  20. In Your Corner

    In Your Corner Dungeonesque Crab AI Version

    Get a lawyer and take the lawyer's advice.
    Let the lawyer talk to her, don't talk to her alone.
    Keep your actions above reproach if you want any chance of getting the kids.
    Call your buds and try not to be alone too much.
     

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