Kid threatened us last night to call 9-1-1, since we are “so unfair” and need to go to jail. we were ROTFL
That's cute and all until they actually do it and you get CPS and a brazillion other social dogooder agencies up your ass until you can prove your innocence. Which is basically impossible.
Home phone is cancelled since a year and he can’t get on our iPhones. but yeah, I’m with ya. once we were done laughing, we explained to him that he will then be responsible for everything. Cooking, cleaning, going to work, feeding the dog... that overwhelmed him quickly and made him realize he’s lazier than he thought
Ok, so the oldest one (now 31 and a retired Ranger) used to sit in my lap for the evening bottle, little guy. i must have been watching March madness basketball. i say NOTHING to him at all about the games, just feed him and get him to bed. A few weeks later we are in the grocery store and he points at a black kid bagging the groceries and says ba,ba (basket ball). Quick on my feet, I say yes son he looks like he could be a basketball player. Kids!!
Time to dig up a fossil… So the blonde child came home from school after turning her intake port into an exhaust port. She disappears for a bit, and when she comes back, she’s limping. The following conversation ensues…
Kid 2: (yelling from toilet) DAD!!!! Me: What's wrong?! Kid 2: THERES CORN IN MY POOP! Kid 2 to Kid 1: COME SEE THE CORN IN MY POOP! Me: Realizes we don't eat corn very often. What a surprise they had from dinner the night before.
Can someone explain the corn think to me? Is it just some people, like some people can't digest milk? Seems a lot of people talk about it on the Internet.
Human digestive systems cant break down a whole Corn Kernel, especially the outer shell. We can process the innards when they are chewed/broken open. You can mentally draw the rest of that picture.
Are you sure it's everyone? I've never seen corn in the toilet. Or am I an extremely efficient chewer?
You are probably just an excellent masticator. I think humans in general lack the enzyme Either completely or in sufficient quantities to break down the cellulose shell of corn for the time period in which it passes through us. Some could probably have more, and break it down quicker, but don't take that as scientific fact, I'm just a Machinist .
Does it just need to be cracked open, or fully chewed? Because I don't think I chew that much more thoroughly than anyone else.
I gots the good quality enzymes, people. I can send stool samples from the low, low WERA-friendly price of three fiddy.