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Kids say.....

Discussion in 'General' started by SirCrashAlot, Oct 15, 2017.

  1. Phl218

    Phl218 .

    Kid threatened us last night to call 9-1-1, since we are “so unfair” and need to go to jail.

    we were ROTFL
     
  2. auminer

    auminer Renaissance Redneck

    That's cute and all until they actually do it and you get CPS and a brazillion other social dogooder agencies up your ass until you can prove your innocence. Which is basically impossible.
     
  3. Dan Dubeau

    Dan Dubeau Well-Known Member

    We used to threaten to call children's aid and my Mom would pick up the phone and start dialing lol
     
    The.Johnner likes this.
  4. Phl218

    Phl218 .


    Home phone is cancelled since a year and he can’t get on our iPhones.

    but yeah, I’m with ya.

    once we were done laughing, we explained to him that he will then be responsible for everything. Cooking, cleaning, going to work, feeding the dog...

    that overwhelmed him quickly and made him realize he’s lazier than he thought
     
    auminer likes this.
  5. SOFG2

    SOFG2 Well-Known Member

    Ok, so the oldest one (now 31 and a retired Ranger) used to sit in my lap for the evening bottle, little guy. i must have been watching March madness basketball. i say NOTHING to him at all about the games, just feed him and get him to bed. A few weeks later we are in the grocery store and he points at a black kid bagging the groceries and says ba,ba (basket ball). Quick on my feet, I say yes son he looks like he could be a basketball player. Kids!!
     
  6. pickled egg

    pickled egg Tell me more

    Time to dig up a fossil…

    So the blonde child came home from school after turning her intake port into an exhaust port. :Puke:

    She disappears for a bit, and when she comes back, she’s limping. The following conversation ensues…

     
  7. Dragginass

    Dragginass Well-Known Member

    Kid 2: (yelling from toilet) DAD!!!!

    Me: What's wrong?!

    Kid 2: THERES CORN IN MY POOP!

    Kid 2 to Kid 1: COME SEE THE CORN IN MY POOP!

    Me: Realizes we don't eat corn very often. What a surprise they had from dinner the night before.
     
  8. HPPT

    HPPT !!!

    Can someone explain the corn think to me? Is it just some people, like some people can't digest milk? Seems a lot of people talk about it on the Internet. :D
     
    ToofPic and Dragginass like this.
  9. Dan Dubeau

    Dan Dubeau Well-Known Member

    Human digestive systems cant break down a whole Corn Kernel, especially the outer shell. We can process the innards when they are chewed/broken open. You can mentally draw the rest of that picture.
     
    ToofPic likes this.
  10. HPPT

    HPPT !!!

    Are you sure it's everyone? I've never seen corn in the toilet. Or am I an extremely efficient chewer? :D
     
  11. Dan Dubeau

    Dan Dubeau Well-Known Member

    You are probably just an excellent masticator.

    I think humans in general lack the enzyme Either completely or in sufficient quantities to break down the cellulose shell of corn for the time period in which it passes through us. Some could probably have more, and break it down quicker, but don't take that as scientific fact, I'm just a Machinist :D.
     
    HPPT likes this.
  12. brex

    brex Well-Known Member

  13. Dan Dubeau

    Dan Dubeau Well-Known Member

  14. HPPT

    HPPT !!!

  15. Banditracer

    Banditracer Dogs - because people suck

    Cows are the same way, kernels that aren't cracked open will go right thru them.
     
  16. HPPT

    HPPT !!!

    Does it just need to be cracked open, or fully chewed? Because I don't think I chew that much more thoroughly than anyone else.
     
  17. HPPT

    HPPT !!!

    I gots the good quality enzymes, people. I can send stool samples from the low, low WERA-friendly price of three fiddy.
     
    ToofPic and Dragginass like this.
  18. Sabre699

    Sabre699 Wait...hold my beer.

    Sounds like a bunch of shit.
     
  19. pickled egg

    pickled egg Tell me more

    You assholes keep talking, and he’s gonna show up…
     
    ToofPic, Robin172 and Sabre699 like this.
  20. Banditracer

    Banditracer Dogs - because people suck

    Just cracked / split a little.
     

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