Sorry man, but between this and "comparing notes"...I'm outta this thread. I hope it works out for the kids and you.
It's funny how people can react so differently to the same thing. Personally, it wouldn't matter to me whether the infraction was just some light dick sucking in the car, or a full weekend of fucking while away "on a business trip." It literally is the same to me. I with you on the emotional affair, though. In some ways, that's even worse to handle.
I understand being horned up, looking for some action, and I might be able to forgive "sorry, I just needed to get railed by some strange dick", but I'm not sure how I would handle "I think I love him."
Did an explosion occur as result? Or did some saliva land on just the tip? Can you please clarify the above action, please?
Dude, sucks this is happening but I think you're at the point where you're just saying some ish that you think people want to hear from you but your heart's still in the wife game. I think you think that things are going to turn around during the separation process and your wife will change her mind, maybe not out loud but subconsciously anyway. I understand it's difficult and that you've probably been blindsided by this going by your side of things and I wish you and your kids the best. What you're expressing, about how things are going to go down amicably over the next year +, that's delusional on your part. It's gonna get to a point where suddenly she is entitled to a whole lot more and she and her lawyer are going to keep turning and turning the screws. You should best prepare yourself for that kind of situation, spend money now or spend money later, maybe even both unfortunately.
It's almost the size of the boning that OPs attitude is going to get him. Dubious, but I hope he wakes up soon. It'll be sad when he comes on here in about 6 months or a year and reads this thread from page one.