Divorce help - God Damn Epidemic

Hell, I feel sorry for the dude my wife ran off with. That poor bastard has no idea what he’s got himself into

 

After a long and intense high speed chase, a police officer finally gets the lawbreaker to pull over.
“You know,” says the cop, “I was originally pulling you over to tell you your taillight is out. Why in the hell did you take off like that?”

“Last week my wife ran off with a cop,” the man said, “and I was afraid you were trying to give her back.”

 

I had my head up my ass (way up there- dark place) for a week when my ex left.
Ding ding, the light went off. she ain't coming back.I pulled my head out and I got on dating sites that day. Was on dates that weekend. There are a lot of screwed up women on dating sites BTW. but you can still have fun. This weekend marks 2 years of dating one of those screwed up women. I am having a lot more fun in my life and I am a happier person now. the divorce process and the damage to the family itself sucked hairy, sweaty donkey balls. But overall, with her not in my life, apart from being a monthly bill for 2.5 more years, My life is improved without the ex. Pull that head out., clean up, get back out there and live a new chapter. It has the potential to be a metric fuck ton better than the last chapter you are closing.

This popped up on my memories of FB today. I was hoping to settle with the Ex that week in court. Nope, the bitch drug it out 5 to 6 more months for nothing.

 

Oh, and if you're not already doing it...get your ass to the gym on the regular and do something constructive with that negative energy. It'll serve the dual purpose of settling your nerves and making you better looking for hitting the open market again.

 

I have a six year old. My advice - don’t wait. Your kids will pick up that something is wrong, and if you don’t tell them what it is, they will think it’s their fault.

 

^^^^DING fuk'n DING^^^^ or, appropriately:

 

My kids are 3 and 6, not sure how much they have caught on yet. The soon to be ex is out of town for a week, so we will have to wait until she is back to sit the kids down.
I have only recently started working out again, just cardio, but it does help.

Is walmart really going to be my best option for super cheap service/phone. It will literally just be apps/calls/texts I cant have on my Government phone.

What are the dating sites out there?

 

Tinder and Bumble seem to be the most popular that I have seen. Tinder is more of a casual thing, but it is what you make of it.

 

Ahhhhh....the Tony Soprano move! Awesome.

Don't fall for some of the bullshit from your attorney...."We're going to war with them, I will kill for you" that's what my lawyer and my wife's lawyer said. Then at the last hearing, they were best friends after it was over. "Sorry I missed your cookout last week, Mr. Lawyer"

 

Everything.
Mine are the same age.
They have caught on to all of it and are confused that they are not getting reassurance or an explanation.
Your children will get used to a new normal - they will do just fine with it. They need to know what is going on and they need reassurance that they did nothing wrong.

 

The biggest thing is don't lie to them. Especially to protect your wife.
It will come back to bite you big time.
You have to realize that no matter what she tells you, she is going to blame the breakup on you when she is alone with them.
Someone has to be the bad guy and she sure as hell isn't going to want them blaming her.
They are going to find out at some point anyway so give it to them straight right from the start.

 

Along those lines, friends of mine that have been together 12 years - she started off as his side piece during his first marriage and is constantly worried and jealous. No idea what would give her the impression he's a cheater or cause her to worry. To add gas to the fire, she's Puerto Rican and he's Irish and they both act the part.

 

This is the worst fucking advice I have ever seen.
There are plenty of people hat survive divorce without bringing the kids into it.
They don't need to know anything about their mother or what is going on in depth.
"Mommy and daddy need space, and are no longer going to live together" is a completely age appropriate explanation for what is happening.
They will learn more as they grow up. Even if the mother is a cunt, is no reason to start telling the kids that. They are smart enough to figure it out.

Shit falls apart some times. We move on. And we leave the fucking kids out of it.

 

No lying needed to tell them the whole truth without introducing adult dynamics and drama they are incapable of understanding.

 

No, you just lie to yourself that you leave the kids out of it.
The kids are in it more so than anybody because their parents are their whole world, and one of those parents is tearing it apart.
Honesty is the way to go.

 

Wait. Wut?

I knew I hadn't seen Dern around the beeb lately, but I didn't know something was going on.

Sorry to hear.

 

Nah, rip the band aid off! They have to grow up some time. Kids, your moms a whore! J/K J/K J/K

I agree with Chin again. Seems you're on the path to enlightenment my friend.

How about a happy ending story?
Neighbors. "Wife" is ~40 ish. "Boy" is 20 something. Wife is a divorcee, who was caught with the boy and dumped by the successful business owner. She didn't/don't work. The boy is a landscaper who owns a ton truck, not a big player. The ex-husband, due to the "fairness" of the laws in N.C. bought them a nice $1MM, 5,000 sq. ft. house. Maybe it was money well spent. Sometimes shit just works out.

 

Bullshit “one of those parents” is doing anything. It takes 2 to tango. And damn right leave the kids out of it. Having grown up through a divorce, the kids will still have both parents. They don’t need ANY details about why things didn’t work. HORRIBLE advice.