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suck it samuel jackson, i have one IN MY TOILET

Discussion in 'General' started by tophyr, Aug 8, 2022.

  1. Norton 357

    Norton 357 Well-Known Member

    Fight fire with fire! Put a big ass King snake down the toilet and after it eats Tammy at least you know what you are up against.

    I would have unhooked everything by now and when she is all up inside there be ready to snatch the toilet up and dump her in the floor.

    Attached Files:

    Saiyan66 likes this.
  2. Boman Forklift

    Boman Forklift Well-Known Member

    So, when did you move to Austin? I thought you were in the Pacific Northwest working for Microsoft?

    But then again, that was probably 2010-12 when we met. LOL
  3. Boman Forklift

    Boman Forklift Well-Known Member

    That's funny, I'm the same way.
  4. cha0s#242

    cha0s#242 Ignorance and prejudice and fear walk hand in hand

    I'd wear my full leathers, a helmet and gloves and man-wrestle that evil reptile. Or you could let her handle it.

  5. tophyr

    tophyr Grid Filler

    Moved to ATX this past January (then promptly hit the road for racing in Feb and didn't return to TX until July, lol). I worked for MS for a bit but have been at Facebook/Meta/Oculus for the past half decade or so.
    BigBird and Boman Forklift like this.
  6. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    You should just live with the squatter punk toilet snake and use it to your advantage and to pop yourself. Imagine the cheap jokes you can throw out when you have guests over.

    “hey, want to pet my snake?”
    “Don’t get my snake too excited or it might spit in your eye.”
    “My snake likes you. He gets stiff and erect when you’re around.”
    “It’s cold so my snake might seem small but when it warms up, he warms up!”

    keep these jokes to a min with your lady ‘cause she might get sick of them after the 276th “my snake” joke and she’ll murder you.
  7. pickled egg

    pickled egg Tell me more

    Hey Chris, send me the snakesterminator number when you get it. Somehow, Houdini the Legless Reptile managed to escape a tank that is taller than she is long last night and is somewhere roaming about the house! :crackup:
  8. Evad101

    Evad101 Well-Known Member

    And when did the married part happen? We still talk about the time Ivan (our son for the rest of you) was hitting on your Girl at KFG back in the day. His 4yo self had some game. Almost got her to come over for a play date! :cool:

    You liking Texas? (Rachel and I talk about getting out of the PNW)
  9. cha0s#242

    cha0s#242 Ignorance and prejudice and fear walk hand in hand

  10. tophyr

    tophyr Grid Filler


    Check your turlets, she needs water somehow!

    hahaha i remember that! Mr Steal Yo Girl for sure.

    i am LOVING texas. great weather and great people. you guys should come check it out!! we have a shitload of room, you'd be more than welcome to stay with us.

    we chose the Austin area specifically because it was similar to the Seattle area in a lot of ways. lots of tech industry, young population/vibe, really good schools and, as long as you're outside of the city proper, it's way cheaper than anything within 100mi of Seattle. it's fairly politically moderate here in Austin, as well. you always get the whole gamut, and obviously it's still texas, but you don't see as much of the hardcore "party line" stuff you'll see in either hardcore red or blue areas.

    married part happened about a month and half ago :) july 2. was a pretty good party :beer:
    BigBird, Boman Forklift and Evad101 like this.
  11. Steeltoe

    Steeltoe What's my move?

  12. Tristan

    Tristan Well-Known Member

    Preach it!

    *just moved to TX*
    *just got married*
    *bigass snake living in toilet*
    "I'm super happy, life is great!"

    I don't know if it's straight up denial or a desperate cry for help... either way it's entertaining
    BigBird and Steeltoe like this.
  13. YamahaRick

    YamahaRick Yamaha Two Stroke Czar

    Talk about the #1 reason NOT to move there ... there it is!

    People moving out of a sh1thole, only to make their destination another sh1thole. Oh wait, Austin is already a sh1thole.
    wsmc42 likes this.
  14. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    <Chris, in his best Samuel L voice> Other mother f@ckers in Texas have tigers! Some have lions! I even read on the internet s that there are blackbuck antelope, axis deer, fallow deer, sika deer, mouflon sheep, Corsican sheep, free-range aoudad sheep, free-range elk, free-range addax, lechwe, scimitar-horned oryx, Beisa oryx, white-bearded gnu, impala, kudu, nyala, springbok, zebra, and elands! F@ck all that shit, I got a mother f@ckin’ snake. . . IN MY TOILET!!!! Check and mate, bitches!
    tophyr likes this.
  15. tophyr

    tophyr Grid Filler

  16. tophyr

    tophyr Grid Filler

    Have you been to Seattle? Or have you just heard stories about libtard tech bros and homeless anti-police uprisings? It's a great place. I moved because I wanted a change and better weather, not because anything about it was horrible.

    Keeping it on-topic, never had to deal with snakes in Seattle tho. Bears, coyotes, and once in a while a cougar.. spiders and mosquitos galore.. but never snakes.
  17. YamahaRick

    YamahaRick Yamaha Two Stroke Czar

    Chris, the snake was a housewarming gift from your neighbors that are true locals.

    Get used to it or GTFO.

    At least the suicide rate is lower in TX.

    tophyr likes this.
  18. tophyr

    tophyr Grid Filler


    I did get told by one of my new neighbors - "Most people here just mind their own business, and most people here prefer it that way. Don't worry too much about getting along. People who move here and don't get along, end up just gittin' along."
    BigBird and YamahaRick like this.
  19. SuddenBraking

    SuddenBraking The Iron Price

    Congrats :beer:
  20. jdavis6446

    jdavis6446 Well-Known Member

    Give us a snake update.

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