I’m not arguing one way or the other, but I believe the major downside of that scenario is converting that debt from unsecured to secured.
I just dont have that much faith in people. Met a younger couple where the husband & wife were making winter travel plans.... the husband came across a bike for sale that was hard to say "no" too. The wifes position was "dont be crying when youre at home with your "deal" and Im on a beach or slopes" He admitted his wife does solutions not problems. Once news of the deal got out that he was passing it was gone in minutes...lol
Congratulations on paying off some of the debt! Sorry to hear there's already been a major fight though.
I said I have less stuff. I didn't say I have no stuff. I have a bit of a collector mindset. I always thought that when I could afford it (financial and time) I would have a motorcycle collection. I eventually discovered that I didn't like all the work needed to keep up with a bunch of motorcycles. Collecting watches has kinda filled that void. My entire collection could fit in a shoe box, insurance is easy, maintenance is easy and you don't have to pay registration fees. It gives me a cool mechanical thing to pursue without much upkeep.
My Wife and I operate separately for the most part, like @redtailracing and others. But we met later in life when we both had good jobs and houses. It's not about trust, it's about independence, and in our case, a true partnership. Some people wouldn't like it. Alot of guys want to be the provider with all that that entails. I can say that in our case, talking about money issues and how you plan to live your life (and pay for it) in advance can save you a lot of headaches. I thought I was a saver until I met my wife- and that type of mentality is alot easier to deal with than trying to rein in a spender! I tell her all the time, Babe, you're an 11. You know what an 11 is? It's a 10 with a JOB!
Add in that she sits and pays the company bills at the end of every week anyway and there was/is no reason at all for me to have a separate account or pay anything. Yes I do know what she pays and all that shit, I just don't have to handle any of it.
Best of luck to the OP - hopefully both your finances and marriage improve (less fights) soon, Sir! I've been with my wife since were were both 16 years old, married at 25, and now late 40's for us both. My wife must be @Gino230 s wife's "separated-at-birth" twin - an 11 who's a saver (to a fault), and she has always worked extremely hard. In the past 20 years I've earned on average double or triple her income but we've always just dumped it into one account and use that for everything - works for us but YRMV of course. I see the two largest issues in marriages being differences in ideas around money/finances and sex - if you're not on the same page for both I can't even imagine staying happy long-term. We leave for Mexico on holiday next week and our new puppy was kind enough to chew up all of my wife's heels and walking shoes over the past couple weeks so I asked her to treat herself and replace em all with new ones before we go - she took that to mean scour online for deals and discounts so she's getting all her new shoes at 50-70% off via FB Marketplace and similar places. She's rather die than pay $100+ for shoes whereas my old boss had by her own admission maybe $20k in shoes and none were under $200 a pair - yikes. As for how to pay it down - I agree with most commenters - sell anything not essential, reign in spending where possible, and I'd use my house ALL DAY as security if it meant securing a lower interest rate on a combined debt repayment plan. Good luck!
I can't imagine not having a conversation for any semi-major purchase. Anything under a hundred or two sure but over that we talk.
Habit changes suck. We've gotten on a dinner delivery kick lately that I know for a fact we have to end - and even with me being the one cooking all the time it'll still be tough on both of us to do it.
See that's something that wouldn't remotely matter to me, I owe what I owe, don't care if there is a direct asset behind it or not I'm still paying the bill.
Different strokes for different folks. Like I said in an previous post, multiple ways of doing things and I'll never claim mine is the only way. I've had a couple of friends that would have catapulted themselves in bankruptcy if the wife didn't have complete control over finances. One damn near did it anyways. And other people, like you said prefer to be more in touch with each others' spending. My wife and I just personally don't care. Between the 2 of us, I'm definitely worse about just buying shit without even mentioning it. But luckily she's never cared. Most egregious was probably earlier this year when I bought a $50k truck. Took my car in for service, fell in love with a truck on the lot, and decided to buy it. She only found out after texting me to ask what was taking so long And when I told her, she just asked what kind of truck and if I could send a picture.
How can y'all be so consumed with trivial mattes when I just learned that Lance NipChee crackers are gone?
Always preferred the peanut butter ones. Which come to think of it totally explains one of my favorite snacks being spoons of PB and slices of cheddar
19 pages and no one has mentioned Mr. Money Mustache? https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/04/18/news-flash-your-debt-is-an-emergency/ He’s been around a long time, and while some of his advice is extreme ( I mean, YOLO is a fact), generally his advice is spot on. Whenever I am going to buy something that is not strictly necessary, I read his blog, and he successfully talks me out of at least 2/3 of my financial follies.