All knowing been. Has marriage counseling ever worked?

My heart breaks for you, man. I hope you're each able to grow enough to help each other through this.

+1 everything Mongo said. I don't have nearly the experience a lot of you guys do but I have been to couple's counseling and it helped me learn a lot of things about myself that I didn't know, including the aforementioned communications issues - I'd prefer to bottle things up and *think* I wasn't developing any problems from them, when in fact I was.

To those who think counseling is pointless, or means you're not right for each other.. when you're young, you've got parents and advice figures to emulate and seek out for wisdom. When you're no longer quite so young, you no longer necessarily have those compasses but it's still easy to get lost without knowing it. That's all a counselor is; a compass to help you find your way.

 

Inflatable chicks never require counseling. Just sayin'

 

I knows counseling well, it may or may not help, but it is well documented that women find an escape (another guy) before they disrupt a long term relationship, especially with kids in the picture.
That guy may be gone within months, but he's a dry run for whether or not they can do it.
Hope that's not the case, but if your wife is as hot as you say, well, guys are easy pickings. I say you drink a $200 bottle of scotch and go hunt the motherf#cker down.

 

My wife and I are no strangers to difficult times. I think the biggest turning point was when I took a good long look in the mirror and decided to man the hell up and get over myself.

If you really and truthfully know and love someone, you do what it takes to make it work. If the truth means you have to walk away and end up like Cortez, well then enjoy playing the field and more power to you. U.S. Married folks like to hear about the strange LOL.

 

Damn.

Minus the owning a business part, I could have written that post.

I will say this much - if you go to counseling, do the work. I went and basically used it as an outlet for a 3rd party to hear how fucked up I thought my wife was. Yeah, she was cheating on me. But I was not a good husband. I was an arrogant, type-A, always right asshole. To this day I wish that I would have walked in that room and said "I think my wife is going to leave me and I'm scared." It is the single greatest regret of my life.

 

We have talked a lot today.

I have hope.

I don't think for one minute there is another person in the picture (right now anyway)

But just for future reference, who has a wood chipper and pigs?

P.S.

You CAN get flowers at 4 a. m. at the 24 hour Walmart.

Might be the best $50 I ever spent. I cleaned out the rack, slim pickings but it was at least 15 red stem roses , 4 lilies (our wedding flower, and 2 or 3 bouquets of summer flowers. It made a large araingement. I left it for when she woke up.

Yes, I am Whipped.

Yarn, you may be a firefighter, but you couldn't handle it either, but I bet you know your way around a hose

 

She says PX 90 is for wussies

She has developed muscles on her ribs. I didn't even know you could do that.
She is not muscular like a body builder-well mildly (you can see muscle without flexing), but lets say she is very fit

She works out about 2 hours a day and is a hell of a lot more fit that me.

She could very easily pick up many men

 

The problem is, I am always a dick, always have been.

I say what is on my mind no matter how tactless or hurtful it may be.

With me, you get EXACTLY what you see, there is no hiding, no passive aggressive shit, no bottled up crap.

it is my greattest assest and my greatest weakness at the same time.

I have to Bruce Jenner my personality to keep my wife.

That ia a lot of OLD habbits to break, but I am going to try to Katliyn my mouth.

 

She knew who you were 20 years ago. If you haven't changed than it can only be that she has.

 

This works in the short term, contrary to popular belief women are turned off by "nice guys". They subconciously look down on them.

However, in the long term they will eventually tire of this, so if you've wifed them up and are in it for the long haul you have to eventually re-wired your line of thinking unless you were planning to hit the eject button at some point.

 

You're not whipped, you're trying to hang on to something you value. Just be smart about it.
Really, I would just let her unload on you without any retort, just so you know what her problems are. Record it so you can listen more than once.
You own a successful business, so you're a problem solver. Put the problems down in writing and then solve the problems as best you can. That includes any problems you have, too.

 

That's very interesting because I see a lot of how I used to be in your statement. I actually had it in my head that if I changed the way I was it would affect the entire competetive nature in the person that I was.
Well, it didn't.

The old me in a conversation with my wife...(her)"my sister had to get a new AC system put in her house and it cost $10'000. (me) "well, your sister is just a stupid bitch that doesn't have a f$&@ing brain in her head!"

Now the new me just says,"that's nice dear".

No argument or confrontation because I can't keep my big mouth shut to what I really want to say. Just roll with the punches and keep an even keel.

 

She admits she has

 

Well it is a time tested adage......


“Men marry women with the hope she will never change. Women marry men with the hope she will change him. Invariably they are both disappointed.”

- Albert Einstein

 

Wish you the best Fencer. Being an asshole is comparatively easy to fix. Just hope that she's not just covering up the fact that she simply doesn't want you anymore. Mine is waiting out the kids and looking for a branch. I'd say try anything.

Memmmmmmmmories light the corners of my mind..........http://forums.13x.com/showthread.php?t=297333

 

Yes
Twice, here
Good luck

 

Fencer, you sound a lot like me. I say what I want,when I want it sometimes I should of waited or thought before I spoke. A lot of it is timing and tone. Sounds like if you guys are talking already openly this is heading down the right path. Like, I said and every one else said listen and take in what she is saying, but at the same time don't take all the blame this has become this bad because both have faults. Nobody is perfect and marriage is work. Just put the work in and you will be rewarded. Good luck!

 

:up:

 

This.

And you're not whipped, you love your wife. Good for you.

Good luck. Stand fast.

 

That Albert dude seems pretty effin smart. What else he got?