Why does my dog poop on the deck?

Seriously??? What the frig???

And it’s nothing new... he’s been doing it for years. It’s not like there’s no grass out back. He’ll drop ham on the deck, or leave a land mine on the front walk, or depth charges on the concrete patio. And it’s never just one neat pile of heaters - it’s like buckshot all over the damn place... one beaner here, one over there... drives me nuts!

I’ve asked him why he does it and he just looks at me like he doesn’t know WTF I’m talking about (I think he only speaks Russian, which I don’t), but it may be just an act.

He’s a 12 year old golden retriever.

He’s really a blockhead.

Thoughts?

 

He doesn’t like the grass tickling his ass.

 

He doesn't like you very much and he finds it entertaining.

 

Yeah but I do...

 

Gotta agree with Mr. Young here, I KNOW I sure don't like the grass tickling my cash and prizes...so maybe Boris the Russian Goldie doesn't either.

 

Can I poop on your deck?

 

Is your deck shaped like a fort?

 

It's a golden.

 

But he’s got hair on his ass, and that doesn’t seem to tickle him...

 

If he didn't...he'd be a poodle....and poodles are nasty...but if a groomer styled my hair like a poodle...I'd be poodle-nasty, too.

 

Especially those French ones...

 

Exactly the kind of stuff that makes this place so awesome.

 

Right??? Never has there been a bigger collection of eclectic personalities who knew shit!

Hence my bringing it up here...

 

He's really a Golden Shower Retriever....rare breed.

 

Maybe he likes ships and understands the reasoning behind a poop deck...

At the stern, the poop deck provides an elevated position ideal for observation

 

Duuuuuuude....

Actually the f’er whizzed on my foot the other day. And farted.

Dog farts are NASTY

 

What else is funny is he hates the water (lakes, rivers) but loves playing in the rain.

He’s a boob, really...

 

Has he ever stolen a slim jim?

 

Next time he's getting in position, head out, and piss right on his head.

 

Then probably terrified of the wind! Lol