suck it samuel jackson, i have one IN MY TOILET

Discussion in 'General' started by tophyr, Aug 8, 2022.

  1. auminer

    auminer Renaissance Redneck

    Dammit, you're going to make me laugh so hard that I have a wreck!
  2. Jedb

    Jedb Professional Novice :-)

  3. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    Okay, I almost never do this but that’s the second Like in Two days (last one previous to that was months ago.

    that f@ckin’ win and we might have to call it early for post of the day. :crackup:
    noles19 likes this.
  4. Tristan

    Tristan Well-Known Member

    Heading to Pitt tomorrow, so I have to step it up to make up for lost beeb time

    GM GIXXER Well-Known Member


    Get a toilet mongoose
  6. HPPT

    HPPT !!!

    Okay, we might as well close out August. It's over.

    Further submissions this month will be considered for September Post of the Month.
    SuddenBraking, tophyr and noles19 like this.
  7. Mechdziner714

    Mechdziner714 More Gas Less Brakes

    I would suggest Eastern Black King snake or North American Racer, they eat other snakes on the regular, even venomous ones. How big is your taint? Maybe one on each cheek?
  8. Tristan

    Tristan Well-Known Member

    This could backfire- 2 scary snakes might encourage the toilet snake to head for the nearest safe looking hole
    BigBird likes this.
  9. noles19

    noles19 Well-Known Member

    Now that does give me a idea, what about putting another snake in the toilet to kill the big one? Just tie a rope to it to pull it back out afterwards.
  10. Tristan

    Tristan Well-Known Member

    I like where this is going, but what if it just goes in there and impregnates Tammy? (oh yeah, we're calling her Tammy now).

    FFS whatever you do, set up "snakeintheshittercam" NOW
    noles19 likes this.
  11. tgold

    tgold Well-Known Member

    :crackup:This thread is gold Jerry! Gold!

    I nearly busted out laughing at work..... All I could think of was: How will I explain the laughing to my coworkers?
  12. Norton 357

    Norton 357 Well-Known Member

    This just keeps getting funnier :crackup:

    But seriously, can't you remove the tank and get to it? Or at least give it another way out?
  13. motion


    Does someone in your area rent honey badgers?
  14. tophyr

    tophyr D200 Reverse Track Guy

    It's hanging out in the "bendy drain" part of the toilet, the P-trap that prevents poop smell from coming up from the sewer into your bathroom. I've been hoping the last few days that I'll catch him hanging out in the bowl and be able to spear him. (Her? Tammy. She's a her now.)

    I can occasionally juuuuust barely see her around the bend of the drain but nothing enough to get ahold of lately. My head-shanking attempt a few days ago clearly scared her a bit. I did go have a look around the house and there's a washout not too far from this toilet.. so if I can't get ahold of her in the next couple days, I may put some screen on the downstream part of that washout (to prevent her from going past it) and then start driving her out that way.

    I've gotta leave for Pittsburg MA next Tuesday so this needs to be wrapped up by then. Tick tock, Tammy.
  15. Jedb

    Jedb Professional Novice :-)

    Extended Coat-hanger on a stick @tophyr ?
  16. pickled egg

    pickled egg Works with puppies, too

    Not in Texas you don’t!
  17. Banditracer

    Banditracer Dogs - because people suck

    Call this guy.

  18. Razr

    Razr Well-Known Member

    You will scare Tammy and she will live in your plumbing systems bowels until you demolish your concrete floor and rip out all your plumbing, until then you will never shit in peace!
  19. Norton 357

    Norton 357 Well-Known Member

    You have much more patience than me. I would have already shut off the water and snatched that toilet out to do battle out in the open. Maybe do the icewater first to slow it down

    Do you think it would come out when the lights are off for a while?
  20. I keep rat shot loaded in a 12ga just for snakes, I’d suggest using the same setup.

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