Signs your month has been rough.

Okay, I'm interested in hearing how you can tell your month has been rough. I'm not talking that you got pulled over with 20 kilos of blow and three dead hookers in the trunk of your car but rough light.

Okay, I'll start. When Amex delivers your bill via Fed Ex and it weighs almost half a pound.
When a VP of your preferred airline calls you at home to thank you personally for your business.

 

My oldest daughter attempted suicide and went to a "hospital" for a small stretch. My wife may have to have her ovaries removed for a possibly cancerous growth. My timeline is up to get my rotatator cuff reattached this month,and now I have to deal with a lose shoulder joint for life because I put it off too long now. I'll take your issues......

 

DUDE!!! I was looking for funny "rough" not real rough. Sorry for your month, you whooped me but cold.

 

Oh woops......I thought this was in the dungeon.sorry

 

It's all gravy

 

Nah man, you reminded me that my shit is trivial.

 

My name gets changed.

 

That one isn't mine. I'd have gone with Sandy McCracken or Pissy McSoggypampers.

 

Lol. Who then? Papa?

 

Trick question...crackers are privileged...y'all ain't neva had a bad day.

 

How the f@ck would I know? What am I, a magic 8 ball?

 

1. Your credit-card bill lists 45 charges to various liquor stores, with delivery fees, this month.
2. The local Planned Parenthood calls, and asks for your HS-aged daughter by her childhood nickname
3. The local arm of the ACLU checks in for the fourth time this month to make sure you're aware the trial in absentia is proceeding, and probably will have a less-than-favorable outcome
4. Uber is proposing leaving you a permanent driver on Fridays, ready to pick you up from the international airport and take you to the rehab facility so you can visit your sister/wife/brother-in-law/cousin
5. The AMA called and asked if you could come in and give your family history, for the benefit of others
6. The CIA called and suggested that since you aren't available any longer by any other means, you'd be hearing from the Reserves about your IRR status
7. The USAR (Army Reserves) called to inform you that your IRR status (which you'd been on since the year you'd graduated college) has been under review, for the convenience of the government, and they'd like to see you in the Delaware Water Gap facility next Tuesday.
8. Smith and Wesson emailed to let you know your body armor isn't repairable, and they're lending you four sets. They have your card on file, and if you render any sets inop in the next month, they'll gladly charge you $2914.99 each. They're willing to offer you a discount on buying this set of four, though.

 

Signs your month has been rough:

You resorted to the beeb for votes for some facebook competition.

 

I ain't saying shit.

First round's on Dave's AMEX.

 

1: Wife almost had a miscarriage and is now a high risk pregnancy.
2: Truck exploded completely. Dead. So I have no actual mode of transportation at the moment besides a borrowed bike.
3: Daughter and wife are 1500 miles away and they both got violently sick. Again.
4: Almost quit my job because people are morons
5: Ripped off for $1500.
6: Broke a borrowed bike. (sort of)
7: Broke a borrowed Miata. (sort of)
8: $1900 stolen out of my account. Literally have nothing to my name right now.
9: I have to go to a wedding next week and the ticket prices have jumped over $200 and I'm scrambling to figure it out.
10: Cannot get health insurance at the moment and my wife is pregnant so as of this moment I will have to pay for everything out of pocket.
11: I owe people money because of being ripped off and people helping me out.
12: I had a bad chicken dish for lunch the other day.
13: Missing my daughters 2nd birthday next month.
14: My mother is attempting to kill herself by taking hand fulls of valium and drinking with cirrhosis of the liver/heart problems. While telling me I'm the biggest piece of shit in the world, she wishes I would have never been born, my daughter and wife should go fuck themselves, etc etc.

This move has been rough. Oh well.

Edit: Shit. Funny rough? Whoops...

 

This is funny considering the poster i'm following......*

When the autoparts counter guy starts to remember who you are, because you've replaced not 1, not 2 but 3 wheel bearings in the wifes car this month. When I went in the 3rd time he said "'nother bearing...." jokingly and I said yep. rr, and both fronts.

* not so much funny anymore that people posted while I was typing lol

 

Dude, if this is all true, I hope the best for you. That’s a lot of heavy shit that could lead to bad thoughts. I don’t want to jump the gun or panic anyone but with a load like that on your shoulders, dont try to go it alone. Ask for help and be with family. Just stay around and see it through if you know what I mean. Tomorrow is another day and could be the one where everything turns around.

 

I was getting on the elevator after a doctor's appointment the other day when the lady in front of me ripped one off.
Not a dainty little fweep, but a better check your shorts cannonade.
And then she acts like nothing just happened.
Then I went to Aldi and they wanted a frigging quarter for a cart. I lost it.

 

You should have just gotten the 4th one while you were there.