Most pathetic way to get injured?

A couple of years ago I was rearranging the junk in the shop behind the house and had a bunch of boxes and sh!t arrayed on the floor. I turned around to get something off a shelf and caught my foot on a box. Being the graceful being that I am, I performed a slow-motion reverse Pike, culminating in a sit-down on the boxes. To break my fall, I reached out backwards, but I still fell flat on the boxes succeeding only in breaking my little finger.

I thought it was only jammed, so I didn't go to the doctor for 3 days.

It still doesn't bend properly.

 

I would say this is the awesome way to get injured. Sex is awesome and I would rather an injury during that activity than something like sneezing while taking a crap...cracking a rib and blowing out my O-ring.

 

We'll see

 

I had one of those. If I didn't know better I would swear my parents were trying to get rid of me.

Toys from the 60s were not all that concerned with consumer product safety. If it required heat, it got HOT. Creepy Crawlers and Vacuum Forming from Mattel (I think) was hot enough to fry an egg. I recall one that was make your own toy soldiers from molten wax and another using molten lead. Got burned more than once, but you learned what not to grab.

 

Tripped on my kids tricycle and dislocated two fingers while trying to boot the neighborhood feral cat off my deck (fights with my cat constantly). Grabbed them and popped them back in immediately cause they looked too gross all sideways and crooked. The dentist I went to the next day graciously x-rayed them for me and we both agreed they didn't look broken (sorry, should have let the Beeb see the xrays for a proper diagnosing). Three years later they are still 'lumpy' at the joint and still hurt when it gets cold.

 

In middle school I yawned so hard my jaw dislocated and it had to get set by a doctor. That one hurt.

 

That go-kart pic brought back a long-suppressed memory.
We're 10-12 or so. We build a rickety go-kart to tackle our nice, long, paved hill.
Single 2x6 spine chassis, wheels are attached by 6" or 8" x 3/8"-ish spikes nailed into the ends of the 2x4 axles.
2 tandem seats, plywood squares nailed to the spine, seatbacks are also plywood, w/ a 2x6 brace nailed edge-on to the back face.

Rob is driving, Chris is co-pilot. I'm kneeling on the rear axle, braced against Chris' shoulders.
Off we go...smoking along, maybe 15-20mph, it's awesome...
Until the Left Front wheel gets loose and tucks under, causing the steering to pull towards a sturdy fence alongside the road...Brave Capt. Rob bails out...
...leaving Chris & I careening into the fence - BAM! Stopped dead.
Chris is ejected and gets barked up a bit. But the force of impact sends me straight forward...causing my, erm, "John Thomas" to strike the seat brace squarely, breaking the seat clean off.

It. Was. Bad. Longest 5 minutes of my life.
Ever seen an an eggplant? That lovely, deep violet color? Ya, just like that, the whole damned "thing."
Never told my parents about that one.

.

 

Broome is working on a novella right now...

 

Sprained an ankle while masturbating in the shower...... did I win?

 

Did you finish?

 

I pissed off a girl in class in 5th grade. She tried to fight me in the hall after class. I just kept dodging punches, so she started pushing me. I let her work her anger out, but at one push I thought I had a wall behind me and didn't resist it much. Turns out it was the entrence to the locker room, so I fell down instead. Broke my wrist in 3 spots from that fall. I got up, said "dammit I broke my wrist" and walked away.

 

That's what caused the fall.

 

You are in the running.

 

I can tell you a way to turn your taint that color. Straddle the hitch on a 19ft long boat that has an outboard on the back while you are unhitching it from the truck. I learned that one that hard way.

 

Stabbed myself in the eye with my safety glasses.

 

You are a piece of work, my friend.

 

You got no idea.

 

Stabbed myself in the hip with a word-working chisel in 7th grade. Had a nice 3/4 inch scar for a long time (as it was a 3/4" chisel). Wasn't actually chiseling anything at the time, just goofing around with a chisel.

 

Yeah, I got burned by a Creepy Crawlers cooker back in the day. I recall that the girl who lived next door to us in 1968 had one of the original Easy Bake Ovens, and it actually got hot enough to bake (bad) cake, and/or burn the fingerprints off of little girls' hands.