Frivolous law suits

Those Fried death pies ruled. Now they're room temperature and baked. BAKED!!!!!! Gimme back my death pies with the molten apple goo.

 

ther were awesome weren't they? charred flesh and all.

 

Popeyes sold a similar fried pie, but they slammed it with cinnamon sugar. Still it’s better then that baked poo pie that McDeath sells.

 

Shit, every single day I will read about a dozen news articles about someone sueing the other person, and I have yet to come up on one yet that seems legit..... how about that guy that is sueing mcdonalds for 4 months of back-pay because he put in an application and didn't hire him, he claims he waited around his house for 4 months because he thought he was going to get the job..... I'm sorry, if mcdonalds won't hire you then something is SERIOUSLY wrong with you......

 

Brad, I'll owe you a referral fee! Why the F*&% did I not remember the injuries suffered by me and my elementary school buds from the molten aple bombs!!

Little Bobby Jones v. McDonalds: Jury award of $23.5 million issued in class action suit for mouth and facial burns to tens of thousnads of American children. Attorney Rodger Doyle stated: "This is a clear message to McDonalds that they cannot put such a dangerous product into the stream of commerce. My 23.5 million clients are overjoyed at the verdict, but not as hapy as I am!! I'm on my way to the Aprila dealer now to pay cash for that new Tuono R Racing. I hope each of the 23.5 million disfigured kids spend their $0.67 wisely. I'm going to "blow" the rest of my 1/3 share of the $23.5 on drugs and hookers. Later!"




Rodger

 

LMAO!!

mail my $.67 to.........

 

That wouldn't stop too many as there are so many settlements.

Require that lawyers charge a fixed rate and outlaw the contingencies.

 

LOL

 

I know that not alot of people on this board pay attention to ball sports but a relevent situation came up this week. A baseball player took a swat (in fun) at a girl in a sausage costume and knocked her down in front of the world. Not the classiest thing to do but basically harmless. The player met a barrage of media hype and exagerated PC stances over the incident and I expected a suit to be filed. But the victim brushed it off and has won my respect in the process. The skinned knee will heal, the players image will suffer for awhile, and she got some freebies that she seems happy about. Now that's a happy ending and the kind of story that gives me hope that not everyone has shit for brains (my opinion will undoubtedly change after this evenings commute).

http://espn.go.com/mlb/news/2003/0711/1579283.html

 

Companies are getting to used to shelling out money that a couple hunder thousand settlement is a good thing.

I saw a presentation by an insurance company on asbestos exposure. If anybody could prove that they had even been in a particlar facility in the 70's they were offered a settlement and a hush restriction. The company didn't want the publiciy and the potential for real (million $) claims from descendants of those that might be deceased.

Therefore deliveery people or temps that serviced this facility were getting $75,000 settlements for no apparent problems. Nice racquet, huh? And the lawyer gets at least 50% of the claim.

Hence the commercials by trial lawyers every Jerry Springer commercial break.

 

what was the name of that plant again??????

 

Kudos to the player for apolgizing and big KUDOS to those girls for realizing what it was all really about and accepting his apology (and signed bat!)

 

Here's the solution:

Joe gets a lawyer and files a frivolous lawsuit against John for 10 mil. Judge rules lawsuit is frivoluous.

Joe's LAWYER must pay court cost , PLUS 10% of the amount the suit was for to John.

That would end most of the frivolous cases.

 

Now you're talking....

 

Yo Rodger -

How is the suit when the Egg McTuffin pasturized-process cheese food product oozed out of the bun and burned the inner thigh of the hottie wearing a mini-skirt going.

You owe us pictures, remember!

 

They should get rid of all the idiots and make judges seat on juries. It offers several benefits. First of all, you obviously avoid having verdicts handed out by people selected out of the same category as Jerry Springer audiences. Secondly, it would still prevents verdicts from being rendered by a single person (the judge) which I find as dangerous as being judged by a dozen idiots. Third, it would provide a strong incentive for judges to throw out frivolous cases, if they don't want to spend all their free time sitting on juries.

There should be a "stupidity index" which essentially would serve the purpose of putting idiots out of the way of progress. It should work like the "don't ask don't tell" policy in the military. For example, if you put the hot cup of coffee between your legs and get burned, you would have the choice between keeping your stupidity to yourself or taking a chance. If you file lawsuits and it is determined that your injury is a result of your stupidity, you get mandatory jail time. The higher your index, the longer your jail sentence. The judges should be allowed to be creative with the sentences as well. If you are fat and fight a lawsuit against McDonald's, you should be required to work out six hours a day and only eat salads. If you still smoke in 2003 with all the information that is available and you file a lawsuit against Philip Morris, you should be injected with liquid cancer (I am sure there is a lab in Iraq that knows how to make it). There should be a sentence handed out to the lawyer as well. That could make them the first filter against frivolous lawsuits and stupidity.

I agree with Mongo about making the loser responsible for the legal fees of the winner. The French have a similar system, and despite everything that's wrong with those people, I think is one of the things Americans should learn from them. I think that Japan does not allow class action lawsuits. It's probably a pretty good system too, although some class-action lawsuits definitely have a lot of merit.

Anyway, I just wanted to stir some crap before I am transferred to surgery ward on Monday. Don't bother flaming me, I will not have access to a computer for a few days. Have a good fight.

 

This would work well with my proposal for an IQ test on income tax returns.

Good luck with your surgery.

 

TNT: I have defended large corps. for 12 years and i have NEVER known one to easily part with $$ unless they were clearly at fault and damages/injuries were absolutely verifyable.

Rodger

 

Defend some insurance companies then. They do it quite frequently. My Dad could write you a book describing it and his frustration at having to do it for 30 plus years.

It happens all the time with insurance companies. I'm guessing you are representing self insured companies... they tend to be a little more likely to spend the time fighting.

 

I am surprised more of these people are not just sueing their parents (merely as a way to make do of course, until 'the inalienable right to victimhood' becomes enshrined in the constitution)