Dropped my egg roll into the toilet

Discussion in 'General' started by Dave K, Jun 15, 2018.

  1. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    Man, it's getting weird and aggro around here anymore. Where's the fun? Where's the Tom Sucks (and he does)? Where's the stupid that leaves you laughing for hours?
    I blame the Russians.

    Anyways, was up in Maryland last weekend and broke one of the basic rules in life: Never look down into the poop vault in a port-o-john. Among the usual selection of corn off the cob, coiled up and ready to strike colon cobras and what the f did I eat last night ass volcano lava fields was a pair of raybans perched majestically on a magnificent turd that stan marsh would have called zurich to report, the tip of the chunkie candy bar resembling turd sticking out of the bridge like a raisin and peanut filled nose. Must have been a person right before me because no one had really had a chance to pile on the ass gravy.

    This still haunts me. Why didn't the person fish out the sunglasses? Was the person looking all cool wearing the sunglasses while taking a Rush 2112 and then got up to witness their prog rock master piece only to have their glasses join it sailing in a sea of blue liquid? Should I have fished them out and given them to the ref who gave my kid a yellow card as a peace offer (and given him pink eye)?

    and then there's the brand new bucket that was in the trash that I should have dug out but that's for another time.
     
    ToofPic likes this.
  2. Lawn Dart

    Lawn Dart Difficult. With a big D.

    Wayfarers or a nice set of aviators?

    I wish others could write with the same imagery you incorporate into your storytelling... I feel like I was there - like I could smell the aroma.
     
    beechkingd likes this.
  3. G 97

    G 97 What's my name

    Good God. :crackup:
     
  4. ChemGuy

    ChemGuy Harden The F%@# Up!

    Actually it was Randy Marsh, Stan's dad, who was into world record turds, as measured by the Couric.
     
    badmoon692008 likes this.
  5. cha0s#242

    cha0s#242 12 inch pianist

    That's it ? No references to your penis, your angry inch, your purple headed yogurt slinger ? Man, you're slipping.
    And lay off the Rush bashing, Rumpleshithead :D
     
  6. HPPT

    HPPT Admin/Mod

    How do you look in there long enough to take full inventory of what's in the hole? And I don't get the title of the thread: what egg roll?
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2018
  7. HPPT

    HPPT Admin/Mod

    Oh, and no. Just no.
     
    YamRZ350 and YamahaRick like this.
  8. Funkm05

    Funkm05 Dork

    :stupid: WTF is up with the egg roll?? Is it lost? Did you eat it? Was it just a teaser? Typo? New term for a mud baby? WTF ABOUT THE EGG ROLL?!?!?!!
     
  9. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    I had time while throwing a wizz so, why not. It was the handicapped shit shed so there was no side urinal.

    I'll explain the eggroll later.
     
  10. HPPT

    HPPT Admin/Mod

    Da fuq?! :crackup::crackup::crackup:
    Why not? I can think of so many reasons, I don't know where to start.
     
  11. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    It was a given that he was there doing his roll as wingman but his recollection on how far down the glasses were was off. His depth perception kinda sucks since he only has one eye and shit.

    Wait, I'll let him type his response, give me a second:

    sxd vthhgj ,uwerr
     
    Rebel635 and cha0s#242 like this.
  12. Metalhead

    Metalhead Dong pilot

    Shlimp flied lice.


    That has nothing to do with this thread. I just like saying it. It makes me chuckle.
     
    Phl218 likes this.
  13. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    Wayfarers which is ironic if you think about it. Wayfarers were originally designed for sailing and this discarded pair was sailing the calm lake of blue poo water on a colon catamaran.
     
    ChemGuy likes this.
  14. R Acree

    R Acree WTF

    God darnit Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.
     
  15. bored&stroked

    bored&stroked Disclaimer: Can't spell

    Seriously. whats with the Tom hate?
     
    Mot Okstef likes this.
  16. D-Zum

    D-Zum Alex’s Crew Chief

    Dave that post should go in the Hall of BBS Fame. That was one award winning rant.
     
  17. HPPT

    HPPT Admin/Mod

    I'm confused. Are you saying Dave hates him, or I hate him? :confused:
     
  18. motoracer1100

    motoracer1100 Well-Known Member

    The real question is ... so Dave how do those Rayban's look and fit on you ????:Poke::D
     
    joec, badmoon692008, ToofPic and 3 others like this.
  19. cha0s#242

    cha0s#242 12 inch pianist

    I think I found the perpetrator :

    [​IMG]
     
  20. Mot Okstef

    Mot Okstef Well-Known Member

    “The number you're trying to reach is no longer in service. Please check the number and try your call again later.

    Message three one five two seven"

    :crackup:
     
    ToofPic and Metalhead like this.

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